8 phrases only manipulative individuals use, according to psychology

If you’ve ever interacted with a manipulative person, you’re probably aware that their words can often be as deceptive as their actions.

Manipulative people have a unique way with words, using specific phrases to control and exploit others, often leaving them feeling bewildered and manipulated.

Psychologists have identified certain phrases as key indicators of manipulative behavior, helping us discern genuine from deceitful interactions.

Being aware of these phrases and understanding the psychology behind them can arm you against manipulation.

1) “You’re overreacting”

Manipulative people often use this phrase to discount your feelings and reactions.

If you express discomfort or displeasure about something they’ve done, they might counter with “you’re overreacting”.

This phrase is an attempt to undermine your perspective and make you question your judgement. Rather than addressing the issue at hand or taking responsibility for their actions, they deflect the blame onto you, making you feel as if you’re the one at fault.

It’s designed to make you feel unstable, overly emotional, or unreasonable.

They use this phrase to invalidate your feelings and shift the focus from their behavior to your reaction.

By labeling your response as an “overreaction,” they can manipulate you into feeling guilty or doubting yourself. This can lead to low self-esteem and even cause you to refrain from expressing your feelings in the future for fear of being labeled as ‘overreactive’.

2) “I was just trying to help”

This phrase might seem innocent and well-intentioned, but manipulative individuals often use it as a shield to disguise their controlling behavior.

When you express your discomfort or disagreement with something they’ve done, they might respond, “I was just trying to help”. It’s a covert way of making you feel ungrateful or unreasonable for questioning their actions.

In reality, their ‘help’ might be unsolicited or disruptive, and may serve their interests more than yours. But by framing their actions as an attempt to help, they put you in a position where any criticism or objection from you seems unkind or unappreciative.

This phrase is a clever way for manipulative individuals to control situations and people while portraying themself as the benevolent helper.

3) “I hate drama”

Interestingly, individuals who often proclaim how much they “hate drama” are frequently the ones creating it. This statement is typically used as a preemptive strike to deflect blame or criticism.

In making this proclamation, manipulative individuals are indirectly asserting that they are peace-loving and conflict-averse. However, this is often a diversion tactic. It subtly sends the message that if any drama does occur, they didn’t cause it.

The irony here is that those who truly dislike drama tend to avoid it rather than constantly discussing their aversion to it. This phrase is a red flag, suggesting that the speaker might be more invested in stirring up drama than they’re letting on.

4) “If you really cared about me, you would…”

This phrase can hit close to the heart. It’s often used to manipulate you into doing something by questioning your care or love for the person.

But if someone truly cares about you, they would respect your boundaries and decisions without using emotional blackmail to sway your actions. Love and respect involve listening, understanding, and compromising, not leveraging emotions for personal gain.

Remember that your care for someone should never be measured by your willingness to comply with their every demand. Genuine relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding, not manipulation and control.

It’s okay to say no when you’re uncomfortable with something. Your feelings matter, too. 

5) “Don’t you trust me?”

Most of us have heard this phrase at some point in our lives. Manipulative individuals often use it to make you second-guess your instincts.

If you question their actions or ask for explanations, they might respond with “Don’t you trust me?” instead of providing a straightforward answer. It’s a way of shifting the focus from their behavior to your alleged lack of trust.

Trust, however, is earned through consistent actions over time, not bestowed automatically. It’s perfectly normal to have questions or want clarity in certain situations. Using the trust card to avoid answering or to make you feel guilty is a manipulation tactic.

If you ever find yourself feeling guilty for wanting honesty and transparency, remember that it’s not a lack of trust but a basic expectation in any healthy relationship.

6) “Everyone else agrees with me”

There was a time when a friend of mine used this phrase during a disagreement. He said, “Everyone else agrees with me,” in an attempt to make me feel isolated and wrong.

Manipulative people often use this phrase to make you feel outnumbered and alone in your perspective. The suggestion is that if ‘everyone else’ sees it their way, you must be the one in the wrong.

However, it’s important to remember that disagreements are part of life, and just because your viewpoint differs from others doesn’t necessarily mean it’s incorrect or invalid. It’s designed to make you doubt your own judgement and succumb to their viewpoint.

Always trust your instincts and stand by your beliefs, even if they don’t align with the ‘majority’.

7) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

This may seem like an apology, but it’s not. It’s a passive-aggressive way of acknowledging your feelings without taking any responsibility for causing them.

When someone says, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” they’re essentially placing the blame on you for feeling upset, rather than apologizing for their actions that led to those feelings.

Genuine apologies involve acknowledgment of one’s actions and a commitment to change. If you hear this pseudo-apology, don’t be fooled into thinking that the person is genuinely remorseful.

Stand firm and demand respect. Don’t settle for half-hearted apologies that are designed to sidestep responsibility. You deserve better.

8) “You’re too sensitive”

This phrase is the ultimate manipulator’s trump card. It’s used to belittle your feelings and reactions, making you question your emotional responses.

If someone tells you that “you’re too sensitive,” remember this: Your feelings are valid. They are a part of who you are and they matter. Don’t let anyone undermine your emotions or make you feel like you’re overreacting.

Being sensitive is not a weakness, but a strength. It means you have empathy and the ability to deeply feel and understand emotions, both yours and others.

Never let a manipulative individual shake your confidence in your own emotions. Your feelings are your own, and no one has the right to dismiss or belittle them. Stand tall and hold on to your emotional truth.

Conclusion

This article discusses the phrases often used by manipulative individuals, providing insight into the psychology behind them. Hopefully, this knowledge will empower you to recognize manipulation and stand firm in your truth.

Your journey towards healthier interactions is yours to make. Being aware of these manipulative phrases is just the first step.

Remember, everyone deserves respect, understanding, and genuine communication. Don’t let anyone make you question your worth or feelings.