8 phrases self-centered people use to steer a conversation back to them

Let’s be real: socializing is hard.

Even the mere act of talking, even with your friends, can be difficult sometimes.

That’s why it’s that much harder when you’re talking to a self-centered person.

They just have a thing for steering the spotlight back towards themselves, making you feel alone even while you’re with them.

They have a way of twisting conversation threads to shine a light on their life. For them, it’s, “me, me, me!”

So if you’ve had enough with people like them, this article is for you.

In this piece, we’ll look at some common phrases self-centered people often use to steer the dialogue back to them.

But before we begin, keep in mind that this isn’t an attempt to label or judge—it’s a chance to understand others better and have more meaningful conversations. 

So, without further ado, let’s get started.

1) “That reminds me of when I…”

We all know the drill.

You’re in the middle of sharing an experience or telling a story, and suddenly, the conversation takes a U-turn.

That’s often courtesy of the phrase, “That reminds me of when I…”

This phrase is a classic tool in a self-centered person’s arsenal. It swiftly shifts the focus from your story to theirs without appearing overtly rude or dismissive.

It’s subtle, it’s smooth, and it’s highly effective.

It allows them to relate your experience to theirs, but in doing so, they manage to hijack the conversation completely.

2) “I know exactly how you feel, when I…”

This one hit me during a coffee catch-up with a friend.

I was going through a tough time at work and decided to share my frustration.

Barely had I finished my sentence when she jumped in with, “I know exactly how you feel, when I was at my previous job…”

Suddenly, the topic shifted from my woes to her past experiences.

It wasn’t about empathizing with me anymore—it was her stage to recount her own saga.

While “I know exactly how you feel” may sound empathetic on the surface, when followed by too many personal anecdotes, it becomes a tool to redirect the conversation back to yourself.

Your struggles. Your problems. Your experiences.

And before you know it, you’ve forgotten all about the other person’s stories because you’re so busy talking about your own.

So don’t be that person. Listen to others attentively—it’s the only way to make genuine, meaningful connections.

3) “Not to change the subject, but…”

“Not to change the subject, but…” is a prelude to an abrupt change in topic, often towards the self-centered person’s own experiences or interests.

It’s a pretty clever tactic. After all, they did warn you that they were changing the subject.

Despite its initial appearance of respect for the current topic, it essentially serves as a springboard for the speaker to divert the discussion back to themselves.

But genuine conversations involve give and take. So when you do change the subject, don’t just use it to talk about yourself.

4) “Well, in my opinion…”

This phrase might appear harmless or even constructive at first glance. After all, isn’t sharing opinions what conversations are largely about?

The keyword here is ‘largely’.

While sharing opinions is indeed a healthy part of any dialogue, self-centered individuals often use this phrase as a gateway to monopolize the conversation.

“Well, in my opinion…” essentially sets the stage for them to share their views, regardless of whether it’s relevant to the ongoing discussion or not.

It’s a way for them to sneak their thoughts into the spotlight and keep it there.

5) “Enough about me, what do you think… [about me]?”

Despite the self-deprecating humor often wrapped around this phrase, it’s another clever way self-centered people keep the conversation focused on themselves.

The phrase initially seems to direct the conversation away from the speaker, but the second part quickly redirects it back to them.

It’s like a boomerang—thrown out to appear as though it’s moving away, but always returning to its point of origin.

6) “Let me play devil’s advocate here…”

This phrase can easily turn a conversation into a debate with the self-centered person at the center.

By playing ‘devil’s advocate’, they shift the focus from your ideas or experiences to their own viewpoints, often challenging or questioning what you’ve shared.

It might seem like they’re stimulating critical thinking or robust discussion. But what it really does is give them a platform to dominate the conversation.

The conversation isn’t a two-way street anymore—it’s a one-way debate where only their thoughts are entertained and everything you say is wrong.

7) “Well, if it were me, I would have…”

Imagine you’re sharing a situation where you had to make a tough decision.

You’re not asking for advice, just expressing your feelings about the situation.

But then, you hear, “Well, if it were me, I would have…”

This phrase may seem like helpful advice, but it’s often a covert way of steering the conversation back to the self-centered person.

It shifts the focus from your experience and feelings to what they would have done in your shoes.

8) “You won’t believe what happened to me…”

At its core, conversation is about connection. It’s about sharing, listening, and understanding each other.

But when someone constantly starts their sentences with “You won’t believe what happened to me…”, the scales can be tipped off.

This phrase clearly shows that the speaker is more interested in sharing their own experiences than engaging in a mutual exchange of ideas or feelings.

It turns the conversation into a broadcasting channel for their life, leaving little room for others to share or connect.

But heartfelt conversations are two-way streets.

Conversations are meant to be open, inclusive, and heartfelt, not just focused on one person.

Final thoughts

At the heart of every meaningful conversation is empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

So don’t use these phrases to give judgment or point fingers.

Use it to understand other people’s behavior so you’re able to give everyone in your life enough space for them to share their stories without feeling overshadowed or, worse, neglected.

Remember, everyone has a story to tell, and everybody deserves to be heard.

As the great Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

So let’s strive to be the exception.