“I’m just being honest”: 9 phrases that show you’re dealing with a toxic person

There’s a fine line between someone who’s challenging and someone who’s downright toxic.

Toxic people have a knack for twisting conversations, situations and relationships into a web of negativity.

They’re experts at making you question your own sanity, yet they often do it so subtly that you don’t even realize it’s happening.

Learning how to identify a toxic person can be a game-changer.

And that’s where certain phrases come in handy.

In this article, we’ll go over 9 phrases that can act as red flags, indicating you might be dealing with a toxic person. 

1) “You’re too sensitive”

If someone consistently dismisses your feelings and reactions as being “too sensitive”, it may be a sign of toxic behaviour.

This phrase is a classic tool in the toxic person’s arsenal.

It allows them to shift blame, invalidate your feelings, and ultimately, control the narrative of the situation.

It’s a form of gaslighting, a psychological manipulation tactic that makes you question your own reality. 

2) “I was just joking”

We all have that one person in our lives who seems to have a knack for making off-color or hurtful comments, only to brush it off with a casual, “I was just joking”.

For instance, I once had a friend who would constantly belittle my career choices.

Whenever I confronted her about it, she’d always say something like, “Can’t you take a joke?”

At first, I let it slide.

After all, we’d been friends for years. But as time went on, I realized this was her way of putting me down under the guise of humor.

This phrase allows toxic people to disguise their insults and criticisms as jokes.

It’s a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their words and actions and to make you feel like you’re the one with the problem.

3) “No one else thinks that”

One of the most insidious tactics used by toxic individuals is isolating you from your support network.

They often achieve this by convincing you that your thoughts or feelings are out of line with everyone else’s.

The phrase “No one else thinks that” serves two purposes.

First, it invalidates your thoughts or feelings by suggesting they’re not shared by others.

Second, it creates a sense of isolation, making you feel alone in your perceptions.

Psychology research shows that humans have a deep-seated need to belong and fit in with their social group.

Toxic individuals tap into this need, using it to manipulate and control you.

4) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

Apologies are crucial for resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy relationships.

However, not all apologies are created equal.

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a common phrase used by toxic people. While it may sound like an apology, it’s anything but.

Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they’re shifting the blame onto you and your feelings.

It’s a subtle way of dismissing your emotions and experiences, implying that the issue isn’t their behavior, but your reaction to it.

5) “If you really cared about me, you would…”

Conditioning love or care based on specific actions is a common tactic used by toxic people.

The phrase “If you really cared about me, you would…” is manipulative and often used to guilt-trip you into doing what they want.

This phrase sets an unfair expectation and creates a one-sided relationship where your worth is measured by what you can do for them, rather than who you are as a person.

6) “You’ll never understand”

Few phrases erect emotional barriers like “You’ll never understand.”

Not only does it foster a sense of inadequacy and isolation, but it also implies an inherent inability to empathize or comprehend.

Toxic individuals employ it as a tool of control, exerting power by denying others the opportunity for genuine connection.

By perpetuating this divide, they maintain emotional distance and evade accountability. 

7) “You owe me”

Relationships are about give and take.

But when someone constantly reminds you of what you “owe” them, it can create an uncomfortable dynamic.

I recall a time when a family member would constantly remind me of the favors they had done for me.

Each time they needed something, they would bring up past instances where they’d helped me out and indicate that I owed them.

This created a sense of obligation and guilt, making me feel as though our relationship was transactional rather than genuine.

Toxic people often use this phrase to maintain control and create a sense of indebtedness. 

8) “It’s all your fault”

Blaming others is a common tactic used by toxic people to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

The phrase “It’s all your fault” is a stark example of this.

This phrase shifts the blame entirely onto you, making you feel responsible for the problems at hand.

It’s a manipulative tactic that serves to belittle you and keep you in a state of self-doubt.

Here’s the deal: Fault is rarely one-sided, especially in conflicts. 

9) “You’re not the person I fell for”

Change is a natural part of life and personal growth.

However, toxic individuals may use this against you with phrases like, “You’re not the person I fell for”.

This is a manipulative tactic used to make you feel guilty about your personal growth or changes in behavior.

The underlying message is that you’re no longer good enough or that you’ve somehow failed them by changing.

Alerts up, toxicity out

In a world where relationships define our experiences, identifying toxic individuals is paramount for safeguarding our well-being.

The 9 phrases we’ve unearthed serve as warning signals, guiding us away from harmful dynamics. 

With heightened awareness, we empower ourselves to navigate interpersonal landscapes with clarity and resilience. 

So, let’s arm ourselves with knowledge, fortify our boundaries, and cultivate relationships that elevate us.