8 signs they’re only dating you to get over someone else

When someone showers you with affection, you think they’re smitten; when they introduce you to their friends, you believe things are getting serious.

But hold on, it’s not always that straightforward.

You see, the human heart is a labyrinth of emotions and motivations, and sometimes, people date for reasons other than love—like trying to get over an ex.

I’ve been there and seen it all, and I’m here to share with you eight signs they’re only dating you to get over someone else.

This is going to be a deep dive into the human psyche, a lesson in reading between the lines of romantic interactions.

Who knows? This article might just save you a heartbreak or two:

1) They’re emotionally distant

Emotions are unpredictable, aren’t they? One moment, you’re on cloud nine, and the next, you’re down in the dumps.

When you’re dating someone who’s trying to get over their ex, this emotional rollercoaster becomes even more intense.

They might shower you with affection one day, only to become distant the next.

This person may seem like they’re with you, but their mind is elsewhere; it’s like they’re physically present but emotionally absent.

Emotional distance is often a sign that they’re still dealing with their past feelings, trying to navigate through the chaos of emotions that come with a breakup.

As someone who’s been on this rollercoaster ride before, I can tell you it’s not an easy journey.

However, understanding these signs can help you make sense of the situation, and hopefully, avoid unnecessary heartache.

2) They constantly talk about their ex

Ever dated someone who just wouldn’t stop talking about their ex? I have.

It was a few years ago, and I was seeing this amazing person.

Charming, funny, and incredibly attractive, but there was one problem: Their ex.

They would mention their ex in passing conversations until it escalated to talking about the places they’d been to together, the experiences they shared, and before I knew it, I was on a date with not just one person, but two.

It was like a ghost from the past that just wouldn’t go away. It hurt, of course, but it also made me realize something important.

When someone constantly talks about their ex, it’s often because they’re still attached to their past.

They’re still processing their feelings, trying to make sense of the breakup. And unfortunately, you’re caught in the crossfire.

If your date can’t stop bringing up their ex, take a step back and evaluate because they might just be dating you to get over someone else.

3) They rush into the relationship

Let’s talk about time: Time is an essential element of any healing process, including getting over an ex.

Yet, someone who’s dating to get over someone else might rush into the relationship like there’s no tomorrow. You’d be surprised how fast things can escalate when someone is trying to fill a void left by their ex.

You might think it’s because they’re head over heels for you, but it could also be because they’re trying to distract themselves from the pain of their breakup.

Why the rush, you may ask? Well, it’s simple: The faster they move on with someone else, the less time they have to confront their feelings about their ex.

It’s a common coping mechanism, albeit not a very healthy one.

4) They avoid deeper emotional connections

Dating is more than just fun and games, right? It’s about building a deep emotional connection with another person.

But here’s the twist: If someone is only dating you to get over their ex, they might shy away from creating these deeper connections.

It could be because they’re afraid of getting hurt again, or maybe they’re not ready to fully invest in a new relationship.

They might keep things light and casual, avoiding topics that could lead to serious conversations; they’ll enjoy your company, sure, but they might hesitate to take things to the next level.

A relationship without emotional depth is like a house without a foundation; it might look good on the surface, but it won’t withstand the test of time.

If you feel like you’re stuck in the shallow end, it’s time to ask yourself some tough questions.

5) They’re not interested in your past

When I’m truly interested in someone, I want to know all about them—their likes, dislikes, dreams, fears, and yes, their past—because all of these things make up the person they are today.

However, when someone is only dating you to get over an ex, they might not show the same level of interest.

They might avoid asking about your past relationships or your life before meeting them.

Why? Because they’re not fully invested in the relationship.

Their focus isn’t on getting to know you better as they’re more concerned with escaping their own past.

A relationship is a two-way street; if they’re not willing to travel down your lane, it’s time to reconsider where this journey is headed.

6) They’re overly affectionate

You might think that if someone showers you with affection, it’s a surefire sign that they’re into you.

But, sometimes, this isn’t the case.

When someone’s trying to get over an ex, they might become overly affectionate towards you.

It’s not because they’re falling for you, but rather because they’re trying to convince themselves they have moved on.

It’s a bit like overcompensation: They’re trying to fill the void left by their ex with an overflow of emotions for someone new.

If your partner is laying it on thick and it feels out of sync with the depth of your relationship, take a moment to consider what’s really going on.

7) They compare you to their ex

Comparisons can be a natural part of any relationship.

After all, we can’t help but measure our current experiences against our past ones. However, if your partner is often comparing you to their ex, it could be a sign that they’re not entirely over them.

Perhaps they mention how their ex used to do certain things or how certain situations remind them of their past relationship.

These comparisons might seem harmless at first, but if they’re a constant part of your interactions, it could indicate that they’re still processing their feelings for their ex.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you’re valued for who you are, not as a stand-in for someone from the past.

8) They’re not truly happy

At the end of the day, genuine happiness is the litmus test for any relationship.

If your partner is truly over their ex and is genuinely into you, they’ll be happy; if they’re only dating you to get over someone else, their happiness might seem forced or fleeting.

They might put on a happy face, but deep down, they’re still grappling with their past.

True happiness can’t be faked. If you sense that their joy isn’t genuine, trust your instincts.

You know what’s real and what’s not.

Embracing the journey

If you’ve come this far, you’re probably realizing that dating is a journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns.

It’s not always easy to navigate, especially when you suspect your partner might be dating you just to get over someone else.

Every relationship teaches us something, even the ones that end in heartbreak. They help us grow, understand ourselves better, and become more attuned to our emotional needs and those of others.

Dating someone who’s not completely over their ex can be challenging, no doubt, but it also presents an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.

If you find yourself in such a situation, take a step back and reflect on what you want from a relationship and whether your current one aligns with those desires.

You deserve to be with someone who is fully invested in you and your relationship.