People who naturally command respect never do these 7 ‘normal’ things

There’s a significant difference between just being liked and truly commanding respect.

Commanding respect isn’t about being authoritative or bossy but, rather, about the integrity of your character and the actions you choose to make or avoid.

Take it from me: People who naturally command respect avoid certain ‘normal’ behaviours that many of us may not even realise we’re doing.

Stick around for this short read, as I share with you these seven surprisingly ‘normal’ things that people who command respect never do:

1) People-pleasers

Now, we all want to be liked and accepted. It’s just human nature.

However, here’s the thing: people who command respect don’t bend over backwards just to please others.

Sure, they’re polite, and they genuinely care for the feelings of others, but they don’t let anyone walk all over them.

They understand that respect is earned through authenticity and standing their ground when necessary. They have a strong sense of self-worth and are not afraid to say ‘no’ when required.

These people understand that you can’t please everyone, and that’s okay.

Remember, being a yes-man may get you temporary approval, but it won’t earn you long-term respect. People admire those who are true to themselves, even in the face of disagreement or disapproval.

Don’t be afraid to express your opinions and make your own choices. You might just find that you command more respect that way.

2) Passive communicators

Now, let me share a story with you: A few years ago, I was working on a major project with a group of colleagues.

One of them was John, a brilliant guy, but extremely passive in his communication. He would often agree with everyone else’s ideas without voicing his own thoughts, even when he clearly had an alternative viewpoint.

Now, everyone liked John because he was easygoing, but they didn’t necessarily respect him.

His passive communication style made others perceive him as someone who lacked conviction or didn’t have the courage to stand up for his ideas.

Contrast that with Sarah, another team member. Sarah was assertive and always communicated her thoughts clearly and respectfully. Even when she disagreed with the team, she did so in a way that showed she valued everyone’s input but had a well-thought-out perspective of her own.

Over time, I observed that people naturally gravitated towards Sarah for advice or when decisions needed to be made. They respected her because she communicated assertively and authentically.

Reflecting on this experience taught me a valuable lesson: People who command respect never shy away from expressing their thoughts.

They communicate assertively, not passively, and understand that their opinion matters and are confident enough to speak their mind respectfully.

3) Serial procrastinators

Did you know the ancient Egyptians had a symbol for procrastination? It was a man fishing off the side of a boat, and it was considered a negative character trait.

People who command respect understand the value of time. They know that procrastination is not just about being lazy or disorganized, it’s about not prioritizing tasks effectively.

They don’t put off tasks until the last minute, leaving everyone else in the lurch. Instead, they plan their time wisely, tackle their responsibilities head-on, and deliver on their commitments.

If you’re prone to procrastination, it might be worth thinking about how this could be impacting the respect others have for you. After all, respect is about showing consideration for others, and that includes respecting their time.

4) Gossip mongers

People who command respect never engage in gossip.

Gossip is a tricky thing as it can seem harmless, even entertaining at times, but it can also be destructive and damaging. More importantly, it erodes trust and respect.

The thing is, engaging in gossip not only hurts the person you’re talking about, but it also reflects poorly on you. It shows that you’re someone who might not be trustworthy or respectful of others’ privacy.

People who command respect understand this. They choose to rise above petty gossip and instead focus on building positive and constructive relationships.

They know that respect is about treating others the way they themselves wish to be treated, and that certainly doesn’t include spreading rumors or engaging in malicious talk.

The next time you’re tempted to join in on the office gossip, remember this: Respectful individuals don’t engage in gossip. They create an environment of trust and integrity, where everyone feels valued and respected.

5) Over-promisers

In my early career, I made a mistake that taught me a valuable lesson about respect.

I was eager to impress and took on more tasks than I could handle, promising results that I genuinely believed I could deliver.

Yet, as the workload piled up, it became clear that I had over-promised and was struggling to deliver.

It was a humbling experience. Not only did I fail to meet my commitments, but I also lost the respect of my colleagues in the process.

That experience taught me that people who command respect are not over-promisers.

They understand their capabilities and limits. They don’t make promises lightly; when they commit to something, they do everything in their power to deliver on it.

If you want to command respect, be honest about what you can and cannot do. Over-promising can lead to under-delivering, which can quickly erode the respect others have for you.

Instead, strive to be someone who is reliable and trustworthy, someone who can be counted on to keep their word.

6) Negative thinkers

It’s no secret that our attitude can greatly influence how others perceive us.

People who command respect understand this well. They stay clear of constant negativity.

Now, this doesn’t mean they’re always sunny and positive.

They have their down moments like everyone else, but they don’t dwell on the negative or let it consume them. They don’t constantly complain or play the victim.

Instead, they choose to focus on solutions rather than problems. They maintain a positive outlook, even in challenging situations, and inspire others with their resilience and optimism.

Respectful individuals know that negativity can be draining and can quickly dampen the spirits of those around them.

They strive to maintain a balance by acknowledging the challenges they face without letting these define their attitude or interactions with others.

If you want to command respect, consider your attitude.

A positive, solution-focused approach can go a long way in earning the admiration and respect of those around you.

7) Discourteous individuals

At the heart of it all, people who command respect are, above everything else, courteous individuals.

They understand that respect is a two-way street, treat others with kindness and consideration—regardless of their status or position—and they listen when others speak, valuing different opinions and being humble in their interactions.

No matter how knowledgeable, successful, or influential they are, they never let these things get in the way of basic courtesy.

They say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, acknowledge the efforts of others, and give credit where it’s due.

Courtesy is not about being formal or stiff. It’s about showing genuine respect and consideration for others.

That, my friend, is the cornerstone of commanding respect. If you want others to respect you, start by being respectful yourself. It’s as simple as that.

Final reflection: It’s about authenticity

When we peel back the layers, the art of commanding respect is deeply intertwined with authenticity.

Authenticity is not something you can fake or imitate. It’s about being true to who you are, standing up for what you believe in, and treating others with kindness and respect.

The individuals who command respect are those who understand this fundamental truth. They know that respect cannot be demanded or bought; it must be earned through actions and behavior.

As we reflect on these ‘normal’ behaviors that respectful individuals avoid, let’s remember that the journey to commanding respect is not about changing who we are, but about embracing our authentic selves and treating others as we would like to be treated.

Whether we’re introverts or extroverts, leaders or followers, the path to respect starts with authenticity.

That, my friends, is a journey worth embarking on.