9 signs a guy doesn’t really like you (he’s just using you for an ego boost)

Do you know why the course of true love never did run smooth?
Mr. Shakespeare never said it, but I think it’s because not every suitor is fueled by genuine affection. Some are merely on an ego-boosting joyride. Knowing the truth will set you free to be with someone who truly deserves you, so the sooner you know, the better.
If you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship that seems to be more about stroking his self-esteem than enjoying a mutual connection, worry not! There’s more than one way to find out.
Below, check out nine unmistakable signs that he might just be seeing you as a mere ego boost rather than the apple of his eye.
1) He’s always looking for compliments
Do you know what I think when I see a man on a never-ending hunt for compliments? I think he’s following a roadmap that leads straight to his ego.
Well, if he spent as much time appreciating your wit and charm as he does chasing compliments, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, right?
Here’s the thing. In a healthy relationship, compliments flow naturally. It feels good to praise someone you genuinely care about and admire. There’s nothing wrong with that.
However, when a guy is primarily seeking ego strokes, he’ll often manipulate conversations to steer them towards his achievements or attractive qualities. He may even belittle himself in a bid for reassurance.
What would happen if you stopped being generous with your compliments? Chances are he would sulk and leave you for someone who can satisfy his never-ending need for reassurance.
2) He’s not genuinely interested in your life
I’ll never forget the time I was dating this one guy. From the outside, he seemed charming and attentive. But after a while, I noticed a pattern – our conversations always circled back to him.
Every time I brought up something about my day or shared an experience, he would barely react or show interest. Instead, he would quickly steer the conversation back to his life, his achievements, or his problems.
It felt like I was just a sounding board for him to voice his thoughts and concerns, not a partner he was genuinely interested in.
This is a clear sign that a guy may not really like you and is just using you for an ego boost.
If he’s not showing genuine interest in your world – your thoughts, feelings, experiences – then it’s likely he values your attention more than your actual presence in his life.
3) He’s hot and cold with his attention
A man who’s always leaving you second guessing his feelings is no more than an attention-starved manipulator.
In the world of psychology, there’s a term known as intermittent reinforcement.
It’s a principle where rewards or positive outcomes are given irregularly, creating an addictive response in the receiver.
In the context of relationships, this can manifest as a guy who’s inconsistent with his attention and affection.
One moment he’s showering you with compliments and attention, the next he’s distant and unresponsive.
This hot and cold behavior can create a rollercoaster of emotions, leaving you craving his positive attention and validation. But remember, this is not a sign of genuine affection, it’s a manipulation tactic.
4) He only contacts you when he needs something
This one is a painfully obvious sign that a guy is using you for an ego boost. If his texts or calls usually come when he’s feeling low, bored, or in need of something, it’s a clear indicator that he’s not genuinely into you.
True relationships are not just about taking, they’re about giving as well. It’s about sharing experiences, supporting each other, and being there for each other through thick and thin.
But if he only reaches out when it’s convenient for him or when he needs something, he’s not valuing your relationship. Instead, he’s using you as a tool to meet his own needs or to feed his ego.
5) He doesn’t make an effort to be part of your world
If your man is treating your life like a Netflix series he’s not interested in binge-watching, well, somebody didn’t get the memo that relationships are a team sport.
Oh no, why should he care if he doesn’t see himself in the same team as you?
If a guy is just using you for an ego boost, he won’t make that effort. You’ll notice that he avoids meeting your friends or family, shows little interest in your hobbies, and doesn’t make plans that involve your world.
This reluctance to get involved in your life sends a clear message: he’s not invested in you. He’s more interested in the validation he receives from you than in building a genuine relationship.
6) He doesn’t show respect for your feelings
One of the most heart-wrenching signs that a guy is using you for an ego boost is a lack of respect for your feelings.
When a man truly likes you, he values your emotions. He listens when you talk, empathizes when you’re upset, and celebrates when you’re happy.
But a guy who’s just using you? He might dismiss your feelings, belittle your concerns, or ignore your needs. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.
Remember, everyone deserves respect and kindness in a relationship. If he can’t show basic regard for your feelings, it’s not you he likes – it’s the ego boost he gets from having you around.
7) He doesn’t make you feel special
If a man treats you more like an option than a priority, it might be time to raise the relationship alarm!
I recall a time when I was seeing a guy who was charming and fun to be around. Yet, something didn’t quite feel right. One day, I realized what it was – I didn’t feel special.
He would talk to me the same way he talked to everyone else. He never made an effort to make me feel cherished or unique. It was as if I was just any other girl in his life.
When a guy genuinely likes you, he makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room. He treats you in a way that makes you feel special and cherished.
If he’s not making you feel special, it’s likely because he’s more focused on boosting his own ego than on making you feel loved and valued.
8) He avoids talking about the future
If a guy drops future talk like a hot potato, it’s a glaring sign he’s not genuinely interested in you.
When a man likes you, he’s excited about the future with you. He talks about plans, dreams, and ideas that include you in them. He’s not afraid to plan a trip or an event months down the line because he sees you in his future.
The bottom line is: if your romantic crystal ball is more foggy than a London morning, and he’s avoiding the future like it’s a tax audit, then well, darling, he might just be in it for the short-term ego boost.
Just drop him like a hot potato and find someone who’s ready to share his future with you.
9) You just feel it
Trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. You might not be able to put your finger on exactly what is off, but your instincts are there for a reason.
A man who genuinely likes you will make you feel secure, valued, and cherished. If you’re constantly questioning his feelings or doubting your worth in his eyes, it’s a sign he might just be using you for an ego boost.
Don’t ignore your intuition. It’s often the most accurate judge of a situation. You deserve a relationship that brings you joy and peace, not confusion and doubt.
Final thought: Relationships are a two-way street
When it comes to love, it’s crucial to recognize the signs that tell us whether someone is genuinely into us or just enjoying the spotlight we unwittingly shine on them. This way, we can protect our heart from being broken by those who’re not worthy of it.
In conclusion, if your guy is checking off more boxes on the “Doesn’t Really Like You” list than you’d find in a Buzzfeed quiz, it’s time to grab your emotional suitcase and consider a different destination.
Relationships are a two-way street, not a one-man show for someone’s ego to get an occasional boost. You deserve a love that’s genuine, reciprocal, and devoid of any hidden agendas.
To that I say: Dust off your self-respect, take a deep breath, and remember: your worth is not negotiable, and a true connection is worth the wait.