9 signs a man will always be loyal and faithful, according to psychology

A man can be loyal and unfaithful at the same time, just as he can be disloyal yet faithful all at once.

Think about it:

There are John Does who are incredibly loyal to their Janes – always there when needed and always putting their relationship as top priority. But sadly, behind it all, they’re having affairs with one or a few other Janes.

And then there are John Does who have never cheated on their Janes but are emotionally unavailable, indifferent, and put their Janes at the bottom of the priority list.

The point is, contrary to popular understanding, faithfulness and loyalty aren’t one and the same. 

But that doesn’t mean they can’t exist side by side.

Which leads me to the third group of John Does:

Those who have loyalty and faithfulness down to the T.

To find out if your man belongs to this sought-after group, look through these 9 signs a man will always be loyal and faithful, according to psychology:

1) He is committed

A committed man is someone unafraid to put his all into the relationship. 

He is in it for the long run, not just physically but also emotionally.

You know he’s committed when he’s deeply invested in understanding your feelings, ideas, and experiences.

Oh, and let’s not forget the data that links a man’s emotional availability with faithfulness and loyalty:

An investigative study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that people who have an avoidant attachment style, a.k.a. those emotionally distant, are more likely to be open to the idea of cheating. 

And that’s not all.

Apparently, they also don’t see the harm in paying attention to someone attractive, even if it’s not their partner.

So if your relationship has a healthy level of physical and emotional intimacy, take a sigh of relief. 

It’s a sign that he’s not interested in being intimate with someone else. 

2) He is emotionally stable

There’s emotional availability, and then there’s also emotional stability. 

One can exist without the other, but if your man has both, consider yourself lucky.

In a nutshell, an emotionally stable man is able to keep his head cool and think clearly when dealing with stressors. He does not let his emotions get the best of him even in chaotic situations.

Psychologists affirm that someone who is emotionally balanced makes healthier choices when it comes to dealing with tough situations.

And here’s how I interpret that logic in relationship terms: 

Men who are emotionally stable are less likely to act on impulse and more likely to find positive and constructive solutions to their relationship problems rather than resorting to infidelity as an escape.

3) He has never cheated before

This next one will raise a few eyebrows, but I’ve decided to add it to this list since it’s backed by scientific data.

Apparently, your man is more likely to be faithful if they haven’t cheated before.

This conclusion is based on a study by Dr Kayla Knopp and her colleagues. 

Dr Knopp, whose research work specializes in romantic commitments, found that someone who has cheated in the past is three times more likely to cheat again. 

There’s no clear explanation as to why this is the case, but there is one other finding that is quite intriguing:

You are two to four times at risk of being cheated on if you’ve already experienced cheating or if you’ve suspected cheating in any of your past relationships.

So, based on this study alone, we can say that when it comes to cheating, history repeats itself – whether you’re the perpetrator or the victim.

4) He is consistent

When you’re swiping right or left on your choice of dating app, do you look for the words “consistent” or “consistency”? 

I’m betting the response to this is 100% NO. 

But expert opinion says you should. Here’s why:

According to Psychology Today, consistency should be one of our requirements when looking for a significant other.

They actually make an interesting point that consistency shouldn’t be seen as boring or completely predictable. 

Instead, they suggest that we look at being consistent from the point of view of predictability in the things that matter, like being predictable in their decision-making, values, and in what and who they prioritize.

Admit it. When you look at it from this perspective, it does make sense, right?

So, if you’re out there looking for a man, make sure to add consistency to your “must-have” list.

5) He feels your pain and your joy

Speaking of must-haves in a man, my non-negotiable would be empathy. 

I want to be genuinely heard and understood by the man I love. That isn’t unreasonable, right?

Thankfully, science also backs this up. 

A 2017 study looked at how a partner’s empathy influenced their relationship qualities and found that empathy benefited the relationship’s quality, specifically in these areas: 

• increased relationship satisfaction
• stronger emotional bonds 
• enhanced intimacy
• more effective conflict resolution.

Taking all the above findings, here’s how I connected the dots to link empathy with loyalty and faithfulness:

When a man has empathy, he creates a higher quality relationship in terms of satisfaction, emotional bonds, intimacy, and better problem-solving, all of which positively reinforce the relationship. 

And what’s the natural byproduct of a relationship with dynamics as positive as this? 

Loyalty and faithfulness.

6) He communicates when he communicates

No, that heading wasn’t a typo. 

Read it again.

What I’m trying to point out is that men who possess excellent communication skills (i.e., genuinely communicating when they’re communicating) are more likely to be trustworthy.

According to Dr Victor Harris, an expert in couple and relationship education, a crucial component of a trusting relationship is partners who can effectively discuss important relationship issues.

7) He is conscientious

Now that we’ve covered talking the talk, let’s see how walking the walk can be a sign of a man’s loyalty and faithfulness.

According to psychology, conscientiousness is one of the big five traits.

It pertains to a person’s tendency to be reliable, structured, diligent, goal-oriented, and respectful of laws and customs.

In the context of relationships, a conscientious man keeps his word. He’ll be there for dinner when he says he will.

He lives for the moment but also plans for your future together.

As experts point out, men with high levels of conscientiousness are more likely to be faithful. 

Why?

Because not only do they take their commitments seriously, but they are also unlikely to participate in risk behaviors such as flings or affairs.

8) He is open to new adventures

If conscientiousness creates a reliable foundation for a relationship, openness allows the couple to expand their horizons together.

And here’s how a man’s openness keeps him from spreading his wings and flying with someone else:

A BMC Psychology publication notes that a man who is always game to try new activities with his partner is less likely to look away from the temptation to look for this thrill elsewhere.

Look at it this way:

Ever played a new video game and got so sucked into it that you tend to forget the world around you? 

That’s how a man reacts when he is so absorbed in new adventures with his partner. 

He doesn’t have time to hit the pause button for another game.

9) He is grateful

Studies have consistently shown a positive link between gratitude and satisfaction in relationships.

One particular study notes that people who are grateful towards their partners tend to reciprocate this by being more appreciative and responsive to their partner’s needs. 

What does this mean in the context of the signs of a faithful and loyal man?

A man who is thankful for his partner appreciates the feeling of being valued within the relationship. This essentially cancels out his need to seek validation and appreciation elsewhere. 

But wait, there’s more:

Another study also found that the simple act of saying “thank you” makes a relationship stronger and makes it easier for the couple to discuss their relationship concerns together.

Think about it:

When a man is expressive of his gratitude, he is actively working on strengthening your bonds and improving your relationship’s connection. 

It’s a sign that he is invested in it, making the probability of him becoming unfaithful and disloyal extremely low. 

After all, who would want to lose something you’ve put so much into?

Final thoughts

Faithful men can be disloyal, and disloyal men can be unfaithful. 

But a man who possesses a good mix of commitment, gratitude, consistency, openness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, empathy, and great communication is almost certainly a man who can both be loyal and faithful at the same time. 

But that begs the question:

Does he exist, or is he just a thing of wishful thinking?