10 signs something isn’t really right in your relationship

Are you wondering what a normal and healthy relationship is supposed to look like?

Surely every couple has their ups and downs, right?

Of course, they do.

The key is to understand when these ups and downs become obstacles to the growth and happiness of both partners.

In this article, we’re gonna take a look at 10 signs something isn’t really right in your relationship. The sooner you find out, the sooner you can do something about it.

Let’s get right to it:

1) You don’t communicate

When was the last time you and your partner had a real conversation?

And I don’t mean, “What do you want for dinner?”

I’m talking about sharing your experiences, thoughts, and feelings and letting the other person into your world.

Here’s the thing – communication is key to a successful relationship. Without it, you can’t have a real and meaningful connection.

What’s more, effective communication means you can voice your concerns and talk about your needs – which lessens the chances of misunderstandings, unmet needs, and emotional distance.

So if you realize that you and your partner have stopped communicating, or that there wasn’t much communication to begin with, it’s a clear sign that something is amiss.

You certainly need to address this issue if you want your relationship to work out.

2) You’re constantly arguing

A fight once in a while is perfectly normal.

But all the time?

It’s definitely a bad sign.

People argue for various reasons:

• When they don’t know how to communicate their thoughts and needs
• When they feel they’re not being heard
• When they disagree with the other person
• When there is a misunderstanding
• When they don’t resolve a problem

They’ll even get into fights because they’re sick of the relationship and feel trapped and unhappy. Arguing over everything is a way for them to express their frustrations.

If you and your partner are constantly fighting, the issue is much bigger than what you’re fighting over at that moment.

Can you think what it could be?

3) You don’t feel emotionally connected

People grow apart, it’s not uncommon for long-term relationships.

You’ve been together for so long that you start to take each other for granted until one day they feel almost like a stranger.

Feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner is a warning sign that your relationship is in trouble. If you ignore it, you’ll keep drifting apart until you just become two people sharing a home.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Relationships are like gardens, they need to be tended to.

If you want to find that connection again, you’re going to have to work for it – you both are.

• Put aside some time each day to talk about what’s going on in your lives
• Choose at least one day a week to be date night and go out somewhere nice
• Plan some fun activities that you can do as a couple. Anything from rock climbing to karaoke
• Finally, consider couple’s therapy

4) You don’t trust them

I could never be with someone I don’t trust and I don’t get how people do it.

I mean, a happy and healthy relationship is based on trust. Your partner is supposed to be the person you’re closest to, the person you can always count on to have your back, the person who’d never betray you…

If you don’t trust your partner it’s definitely a problem because:

• You are right and they’re deceitful
• You are paranoid because of your insecurity

If it’s the first point, then you need to move on because they’re not your soulmate.

And if it’s the second point, then you’re like this friend of mine who jeopardizes all her relationships. She was abandoned by her dad and now expects all the guys she dates to be a***oles.

So what does she do?

She secretly checks their messages. She acts jealous and irrational until eventually, she goes overboard and chases them away.

Failure to trust because of past hurts can be a big problem when it comes to current/future relationships and it really needs to be dealt with.

I’d really recommend getting into all that with a therapist.

5) You’re pretty sure they’re cheating

So, is this another trust issue?

Are you like my friend who just doesn’t know how to be happy or is your partner really unfaithful?

Infidelity is a big deal, it’s the ultimate betrayal and if you need a sign that something isn’t tight in your relationship, look no further.

While the cheater may claim, “it meant nothing” there’s no doubt that something’s gone very wrong. You need to talk things out and figure out what.

There’s still a chance for things to work out, it all depends on the reason your partner cheated on you in the first place and if you can find a way to forgive and move past it.

Personally, I could never, but that’s just me.

6) You’re no longer physically intimate

Let’s talk about sex, shall we?

Different people will give you different answers on how often is normal.

The truth is that there’s no single right answer. The “right” frequency of sex is what feels mutually satisfying and fulfilling for both partners, rather than adhering to any specific societal norm.

But if it’s been months, or dare I say years, since you had sex, it means that something’s up. You could be in a bit of a rut and it would be a good idea to talk about it with your partner.

Don’t be afraid to schedule sex, it doesn’t have to be spontaneous to be good or to rekindle the old flame.

7) You don’t care about spending time together

How do you spend your free time ?

With your friends? By yourself? Going on adventures with your dogs?

What about your partner, where do they fit in?

In my humble opinion, if you guys prefer spending time apart and you no longer enjoy each other’s company, it sounds like your relationship has come to an end.

8) You’re constantly criticized

Do you often find yourself telling your partner, or thinking, “If there’s so much wrong with me, why don’t you find someone better?”

You’ve gotta wonder what’s up when you find your significant other criticizes you for every little thing.

Sure, it’s possible that their behavior has nothing to do with you. Maybe they’re critical of everyone.

But if they never used to be like this and you feel specifically targeted, you need to bring it up and have a serious conversation about it.

The truth is that having to take constant criticism is terrible for your self-esteem.

Healthy relationships should be built on support and understanding.

Persistent criticism creates a toxic environment and suggests underlying issues that must be addressed ASAP.

9) You feel manipulated

Listen up: If you feel manipulated in your relationship, that’s a big red flag that something isn’t right.

Manipulation suggests a power imbalance – the stronger person taking advantage of the weaker one.

It means a lack of trust and emotional safety.

I mean, where’s the trust and mutual respect in a manipulative relationship?

The bottom line is that if you feel like your partner is trying to control or influence you in a way that undermines your autonomy or well-being, there’s a dysfunctional dynamic in your relationship and you need to do something about it.

10) Your gut is telling you something is up

Last but not least I want to mention the importance of intuition.

Of course, it’s important to have concrete proof of something, but it’s also important to listen to what our gut is saying from time to time.

Maybe you can’t quite put your finger on what it is but you just feel that something ain’t right between you and your partner. Don’t ignore this feeling.

Now, I’m not saying break up because of your gut. What I’m saying is try and see where that feeling is coming from.

• Observe your partner
• Look at your interactions
• Check in with yourself and see how you feel

You need to figure out what’s wrong so you can see if it’s something you can fix or if it means you need to move on.

Final thoughts

I know how much it sucks to find out that your relationship is in trouble, it’s definitely not something any of us want to hear.

However, you should try and look at the bright side – now that you know, you have a chance to try and fix things and make your relationship work.

And if you can’t, it’s best you find out sooner than later.