9 signs you’re an introvert who is surprisingly adept at socializing

I’ve always considered myself to be a hardcore introvert, but I also know that there are times in life when I have to fake extroversion.

For example, if I’m at a networking event then I know I need to chat to new people and schmooze with them even though I’d like nothing better than to be at home.

There are also times when I need to push myself outside my comfort zone if I want to experience new things.

Last summer, I travelled to Paris by myself to practice my French and have an adventure, and speaking to strangers in a second language called for me to fake extroversion more than ever before.

So why am I telling you this? Well, today we’re going to take a look at the signs that you might be an introvert who’s surprisingly good at socializing. And you don’t even need to go to Paris!

1) You remember things about people

If you remember things about people then there’s a good chance that you’re decent at socializing.

That’s because it shows that when you speak to people, you’re actively listening and you’re learning about them. Not only that, you care enough about them to remember whatever you learn.

I have a unique perspective on this because I’m somehow terrible at names but pretty good at details.

I remember things about people’s pets and the kinds of books they read, and I’m particularly good at remembering things about their creative lives.

So if you ask me to tell you someone’s name, I won’t be able to – but I’ll be able to tell you what their novel is about.

2) You’re good at listening

One of the reasons why introverts who are adept at socializing are able to remember things about people is that they’re good at listening.

This comes naturally to them because it’s easy for an introvert to stay quiet and to let everyone else do the talking.

This is important because most of us don’t actually listen to the person that we’re speaking to – instead, we sit there trying to decide what we’re going to say next.

Introverts don’t have this problem, and so they’re able to practice the skill of active listening instead.

This allows them to pay close attention to what people are saying, and when they do ask questions, it’s purely to follow up with something that’s been said and to uncover additional information.

3) You have a lot of empathy

Empathy is a useful skill for both introverts and extroverts, but it’s particularly useful for introverts who need to socialize.

Empathy allows us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and to imagine how they might be feeling. We can also get a good idea of how they’ll react to something that we say or do.

Now, it’s not something that you can necessarily learn, but it is a sort of muscle that you can exercise over time.

Try going out of your way to understand how other people’s minds work and pay close attention to the way that they react to external stimuli.

Before long, you’ll be using your empathy to better socialize.

4) You’re good at talking to strangers

I’ve always been good at talking to strangers, and I’ve never been able to figure out why.

I think that in my case, it’s because I can fake extroversion for a while, and I’m pretty good at making small talk even though I hate doing it. I’ve been introduced to so many strangers throughout the years that I haven’t had much choice.

Being able to talk to strangers is an important life skill because everyone’s a stranger the first time you meet them. If you want to make friends or fall in love, you’re going to have to start out by talking to a stranger.

I know, it sucks. But only in the short term.

5) You facilitate discussions

One of the best things about being an introvert who’s good at socializing is that you can use your skills to be a facilitator.

By this, I mean that you can take part in group conversations with a bunch of extroverts and only have to worry about chipping in here and there to keep the others talking. A well-placed question can take you a long way.

There’s a real skill to doing this, which is why moderators for discussion panels at conferences are always in such high demand. But you might be surprised at just how naturally this can come to introverts.

6) You’re observant

This point goes back to what we said about being good at listening and remembering things about people.

But it also goes above and beyond that, because observance requires a sharp eye and a quick brain.

Not all social introverts boast these skills, and so if you’re one of the lucky ones then you can consider yourself as having a sort of superpower.

However, if you’re observant and you want to be better at socializing, you can verbalize your observations or use them to facilitate discussions, like we covered in the last point.

Your observation skills will also make you a better listener.

7) You have a big network

If you have a big network of friends, acquaintances, and professional contacts, it’s a pretty good sign that you’re good at socializing.

That’s because your network is a direct result of your social skills, and you’ll have needed to socialize to build the thing. However, you should remember that size isn’t everything – and no, I didn’t intend any innuendo.

It’s almost always better to have a smaller network that’s made up of close contacts because they’re more likely to help you out during times of need.

But some introverts who are particularly good at socializing are able to get both quantity and quality, often making them better at socializing than any extrovert.

8) Your friends come from diverse backgrounds

If the people in your friend group come from a range of diverse backgrounds, that says a lot about you as a person.

The first thing it says is that you’re open-minded and averse to prejudice, which in my book makes you a pretty darn decent human being. The second is that you’re good at socializing with people from all walks of life.

In fact, for you to have friends from a range of backgrounds, you need to be good at talking to strangers, as we mentioned earlier. That’s because you’ll have met those friends across a huge range of social settings.

9) You pick up on non-verbal communication

Depending upon who you ask, it’s said that non-verbal communication makes up as much as 93% of all communication.

People love to argue about exactly how much of a role non-verbal communication plays, but regardless of the exact figure, introverts tend to be pretty good at picking up on it. This comes from their observance and their listening skills.

Being able to pick up on non-verbal communication will make you a better communicator in general. It will also enable you to tell when someone is saying one thing despite meaning something else entirely.  

Conclusion

Now that you know the signs that suggest you’re an introvert who’s good at socializing, it’s time to decide how many of them resonate with you. If none of them do, there’s a good chance that your socializing skills still need work.

Being good at something doesn’t necessarily mean that you enjoy it, but socializing is an important skill that will serve you in good stead throughout your life. You just need to learn to decide if and when to deploy them.

But I’ve talked enough for now, and my social battery is all worn down. You go ahead and socialize; I’m going to enjoy some alone time.