8 signs you’re dealing with a high-level manipulator, according to psychology

There’s no course in the university of life that teaches you how to identify a high-level manipulator.

Sure, we learn about human behavior from psychology books, we experience different personalities in our social circles, and perhaps we’ve even been intrigued by the manipulative masterminds in classic literature.

Yet, without guidance, most of us are left navigating these treacherous waters through a trial by fire method.

And if your luck is anything like most people’s, you’re likely to get burned more than once.

The manipulators in our lives are often seen as charismatic individuals or misunderstood souls, instead of recognizing them for what they truly are – emotional predators.

This is why it’s crucial to equip ourselves with the knowledge that can help us identify and deal with them.

A task easier said than done.

So, let’s explore 8 signs you’re dealing with a high-level manipulator, according to psychology.

Moving beyond simple advice, we aim to share insights that can truly change your perspective and perhaps, even your life.

1) They are masters at gaslighting

People who are high-level manipulators often excel at a tactic known as “gaslighting”.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the manipulator makes someone question their own reality, memory, or perceptions.

This tactic is not just used for the manipulator’s amusement—it’s a well-calculated move designed to make their victims doubt their own judgement.

The manipulator sows seeds of doubt in the victim’s mind, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity.

The victim then becomes more dependent on the manipulator for their version of reality.

They can be so good at this that they can make the victim believe that whatever problem exists is actually their fault.

They deflect any blame or criticism off themselves and onto the victim.

In essence, gaslighting is a powerful and dangerous weapon. It’s used to control, dominate, and keep the victim confused and off-balance.

2) They play the victim card

Watch out for people who are quick at whipping out the ‘victim card’ when it’s convenient.

They’re like actors in a drama, casting themselves as the unfortunate hero, wronged by circumstances or others.

This act isn’t just for show – it’s a crafty move to tug at your heartstrings and get something in return.

They twist the story, shift the blame, and get what they want, all while hiding behind a mask of fake suffering.

They’re like emotional puppeteers, pulling strings with guilt trips and sad stories.

It’s hard to call out someone who seems down and beaten, right? That’s their game.

They use this whole routine to make even the most ridiculous actions seem justified.

Spotting it isn’t always easy and calling it out can be even harder.

You’ve got to cut through a lot of emotional fog to see their true colors. But you have to if you want to stop being played by these people.

3) They are expert projectors

This tactic is a clever diversion.

It shifts the spotlight off them and onto the accused, who ends up on the defensive.

It’s a smokescreen for their own dodgy deeds.

It is a sneaky way of dealing with their own guilt or shortcomings.

Accusing others is their escape route from facing their own issues, keeping them in the driver’s seat of the relationship.

4) They have a knack for ‘love bombing’

“Love bombing” is a classic red flag in the manipulator’s playbook.

It’s when someone showers you with excessive affection, gifts, and compliments early in a relationship.

Think of it as a charm offensive, where they bombard you with all this love and attention to sweep you off your feet.

The catch? It’s not about genuine affection; it’s a calculated move to win your trust and dependence quickly.

Once they feel they’ve got you hooked, the affection often vanishes as fast as it appeared.

Spotting this early on is key – real love is about steady, genuine connection, not an overwhelming flood designed to catch you off guard.

5) They thrive in creating confusion

Do you know anyone that loves to weave a web of confusion?

They’re like masters of chaos, often mixing up their words and actions to leave you second-guessing and off-balance.

This tactic, a real mind game, involves inconsistent behavior and vague, contradictory statements.

It’s purposely designed this way to cloud your judgment and make you doubt your own perceptions.

It’s like being in a constant state of mental fog, where you can’t quite grasp what’s real and what’s not.

This confusion serves as a control tool, keeping you dependent on them for clarity and stability.

6) They manipulate with guilt

High-level manipulators are experts at using guilt to control others.

They know exactly how to make you feel bad about something, even when there’s no logical reason for you to feel that way.

Guilt is a powerful emotion, and they know it.

They use it to their advantage by making you feel guilty for things that are not your fault, or for wanting basic respect and decency.

This often leads to the victim constantly apologizing and trying harder to please the manipulator.

Guilt manipulation can have a real effect on a person’s self-esteem and overall mental health.

So always be conscious of this and understand that guilt is often used as a tool for control, not a genuine expression of remorse or concern.

7) They avoid taking responsibility

Avoiding responsibility is definitely in their handbook, there’s probably a special chapter it.

They’re like escape artists, always finding a backdoor to slip away from responsibility.

When something goes wrong, it’s never on them – the always find a way to blame someone else.

It’s a calculated strategy to keep their image spotless and stay in control.

Spot this and you’ve spotted a manipulator.

This behavior is honestly a big red flag, as accountability is important in any healthy relationship.

So, when someone consistently dodges responsibility, it’s worth paying attention to.

8) They use silent treatment as punishment

I’m sure we all have some sort of experience with the ‘silent treatment’, but if it is used as a form of emotional punishment to express displeasure or assert control – watch out.

When you do something they don’t like, they may ignore you, refuse to speak to you, or even act as though you don’t exist.

This is done to make you feel guilty, anxious, and willing to do anything to restore the peace.

However, what it is, is emotional abuse.

It’s used to manipulate you into doing what they want by making you feel rejected and unimportant.

It’s important to understand that everyone has a right to express their feelings and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner – not through manipulation and control.

Final thoughts: Knowledge is power

Understanding human behavior, particularly manipulative tactics, can often feel overwhelming or confusing.

But armed with these psychological insights, I hope you can spot better the signs and avoid the traps.

One key insight from psychology is that manipulative behavior often stems from an individual’s insecurities and fears.

Manipulators may use control and deceit as a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability, rejection, or loss of power.

Manipulation is rarely about the victim. It’s more about the manipulator’s struggle with their own inadequacies.

This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it does provide a perspective that might help in dealing with such individuals.

Remember that recognizing manipulation is only the first step.

The next steps involve setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing your mental health.

You have the right to be treated with respect and honesty in all your relationships.

I hope that the knowledge you’ve gained from this article empowers you to demand better treatment, establish healthier relationships and ultimately, protect your wellbeing.