7 situations in life where the best thing to do is let go

When I first heard the song “Let It Go” from Frozen, I thought it was a weirdly adult concept for a children’s movie.

After all, the words are about self-discovery and empowerment:

“Let it go, let it go / Can’t hold it back anymore / Let it go, let it go / Turn away and slam the door.”

Well, Mulan taught kids about believing in themselves, and Peter Pan told them it was important to grow up but still enjoy life.

So maybe it’s never too early to teach kids about letting things go for their own mental health.

There are most definitely times in our lives when we hold onto negativity far longer than we should, and it does us a great deal of psychic damage.

Yeah, I’m with Elsa on this one.

And here are 7 situations in life where the best thing to do is let go for your own good.

1) When you’re still holding a grudge

I have a funny story to tell you.

Well, it’s funny now, but at the time, it was actually pretty sad.

I’ve always had a good memory for things that happen in my life, like when things go my way or times when people do me wrong.

Well, let’s be honest. I’ve always been pretty good at holding a grudge.

Basically, I’ve always given people a chance, but typically only one, and if they mess me around, that’s it.

This happened a long time ago with a friend’s girlfriend. She did something to really infuriate me, and I was done with her from then on.

And that was no big deal because he broke up with her not long after that, and I never really saw her around.

But about eight years later, she ended up meeting my partner randomly, and they got into some business together. When my partner told me who she was talking about, I was shocked.

I tried to warn her away from this woman, but there was a problem.

When my partner asked me what she’d done, I honestly couldn’t remember!

At that point, I felt ridiculous. 

All this time, I’d been holding onto this negativity, and I didn’t even know why!

What a waste – if only I’d known when to let go.

2) When your ex has moved on

One of the most painful breakups is the one-sided split.

While one person is still all-in, the other one wants out and leaves them high and dry.

I don’t need to give you an example, do I? I think we’ve all been on at least one side of this situation or the other.

For the person left behind, it can feel a little bit unreal. They say things like, “They’ll be back. They just need some time.”

While this does sometimes happen, the opposite is just as likely.

Yet, the person left behind still holds a vigil, waiting for months or even years for the other person to come back.

Romantic? Maybe.

Painful? Certainly.

And then there comes the time when they find out the ex has someone new.

If it’s just a rebound, it’s still possible they’ll come back. But if it’s a serious new relationship, the other person needs to let go.

No matter how painful it is, it’s time for a reality check and some self-R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

I hate to use the cliché, but there are plenty of fish in the sea who will swim up and see them for the valuable person they are, even if that old fish didn’t.

3) When you blew that opportunity at work

Are you thinking you should have gotten that promotion or made a partner by now?

Should you at least have had a raise for all your hard work?

Well, yeah, if you hadn’t messed everything up.

Maybe it was something you said in front of an important client that lost the company a deal, or perhaps the scathing email you sent to your boss by accident – you meant to delete it!

Whatever it was, even if it was something big that had serious repercussions for your career, there’s no way you can change it now.

If you’re still blaming yourself, it’s time to let go.

When you keep something like this in your mind, it hangs over you like a black cloud, affecting your mood and your performance. You’ve already messed things up once – don’t let this continue to affect you and become a pattern.

We all make mistakes, even massive ones, but if you don’t get past them, they have a way of repeating themselves.

4) When you made that mistake and totally embarrassed yourself

Mistakes happen everywhere, not just at work.

Sometimes, we make big blunders that make us look foolish. Other times, we hurt people when we didn’t mean to.

Whether you think you’re indelicate, awkward, clumsy, or insensitive, remember that these aren’t hard and fast character traits. They’re things that you can work on and change.

So, if you feel like you’ve really put your foot in your mouth, it’s time to use that as motivation to change rather than something you should continue to beat yourself up over.

Let it go, and let it guide you toward doing better in the future.

5) When things have to be perfect

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist, and it’s something I know I need to work on.

If you are, too, then you know how hard it is to let things go when you’re working on them. It could be something for work or a personal project, but no matter what it is, you probably spend too much time on it.

Perfection is impossible, at least for us humans.

Don’t believe me?

Go ahead and search for a perfect circle. You’ll find a picture of one, alright, but if you zoom in as far as possible, you’ll find it’s made of pixels and actually has a jagged edge.

Yes, this is about screen resolution, but it’s really the way the physical world works. While there could be an ideal in your mind, there’s always something more that can be done to get closer to it.

What’s really difficult for us perfectionists is being able to get to an acceptable point and stop. We struggle to let go of our work for fear it could still be improved.

However, if you spent a lifetime on absolutely anything at all, it still would never be perfect.

We have to learn to stop obsessing and let go so that we can do things within a reasonable amount of time.

6) When you’ve lost a loved one

The hardest things to let go of are people we love.

When someone you really care about passes away, it can be absolutely devastating, whether it was sudden or expected.

It’s about the loss you feel, that hole in your heart that they leave behind.

And it’s natural to grieve and be stuck for a while in feelings of sadness and even regret. What’s not natural or normal, though, is not being able to come out the other side of grief.

For some people, the loss is so severe they feel like they can never recover. Yet nothing will ever bring that person back – this is one hard and fast rule of life.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting them or not caring. It’s about letting go of the crippling grief that’s holding you down like a lead blanket and returning to live the precious life that you still have.

And by letting go, you can make your life a tribute rather than a memorial.

7) When you’re probably too old to be a rockstar

For many of us, letting go of our dreams is almost as hard as letting go of grandma.

But it’s something that, eventually, we have to come to grips with.

My brother-in-law was a great singer-songwriter for years. I really enjoyed his music and thought he would really go places.

But he didn’t.

It could have been his look, his luck, or his musical choices, but he just never was able to make a real career out of it. After a decade of trying hard and working crappy day jobs to make ends meet, he decided it was time to let go of his rockstar dreams.

At the same time, he was older, married, and a great father of two. He started a new career and really changed his life drastically.

So not only did he let go of that dream, but he also moved on and found other dreams to replace it.

Final words

None of these 7 situations in life when the best thing you can do is let go are easy.

It takes courage and strength to let go, more than it takes to hold on in many cases.

But when we do find ourselves able to let it go, we free ourselves to find new things in life to take hold of.