If someone says these 11 phrases, they’re definitely being fake nice

by Lachlan Brown | July 30, 2024, 10:04 pm

Ever had a chat with someone who seems super nice, but later you feel like maybe it wasn’t all real?

Guess what, you’re not alone.

Sometimes, people act extra nice because they want something, they’re trying to avoid a fight, or they’re just pretending for some other reason.

But don’t worry! You can learn to spot when someone is just being fake nice.

The trick is to listen carefully to what they say.

In this article, we’re going to share the top ten things people say when they’re not being truly nice.

So, let’s put on our thinking caps and figure this out together!

1. “Bless Your Heart”

At first glance, this might sound like a warm, comforting phrase.

But if you delve a little deeper, you might find that it’s often used in a sarcastic way, especially in the southern parts of the United States.

When someone says “bless your heart,” they might be trying to cover up their true feelings with a veneer of sweetness.

If you’re not quite sure, pay attention to their tone and context.

If they say it after you’ve made a mistake or shared some bad news, it’s likely they’re being fake nice.

2. “That’s Interesting”

This phrase can be a genuine expression of interest, but it can also be a polite way of saying, “I don’t really care.”

If someone responds with “that’s interesting” every time you share something, without asking any follow-up questions or showing genuine enthusiasm, there’s a good chance they’re just pretending to be nice.

Real conversations involve back-and-forth communication, so if they’re not engaging with what you’re saying, it’s possibly because they’re not genuinely interested.

3. “You’re So Unique”

I remember once, at a party, I was wearing a vintage dress that was quite different from everyone else’s modern outfits.

A woman I had just met complimented me on it, saying, “Oh, your dress is so unique!”

Initially, I was flattered.

But as the evening wore on, I noticed her making similar comments about other people’s choices in a way that didn’t seem sincere or kind.

It dawned on me that “unique” might not have been a compliment after all.

It was her diplomatic way of saying she found my dress odd or out of place.

Sometimes, phrases like “you’re so unique” can be veiled criticism from people who are just pretending to be nice.

4. “I’ve Been Meaning to Get in Touch”

This phrase is often used by someone who’s trying to appear thoughtful or considerate, but it might just be a way for them to mask their lack of genuine interest.

If someone truly wants to be in touch with you, they will.

Humans are wired to detect insincerity in other people’s words and actions.

So, next time someone uses this phrase and you feel something’s off, trust your instincts – you’re likely onto their ‘fake niceness’.

5. “We Should Hang Out Sometime”

This phrase often sounds promising.

After all, who wouldn’t want to spend quality time with their friends?

However, when these words come from someone who never follows through, it can be quite disheartening.

They might say it with a friendly smile and even sound excited about the idea, but if they never actually make plans or are always too busy when you try to, chances are they’re just being fake nice.

Real friends won’t just vaguely suggest spending time together; they’ll make the effort to turn those words into action.

6. “It’s So Nice to See You”

This one hits close to home for me.

I used to have a coworker who would greet me with a big smile every morning, exclaiming, “It’s so nice to see you!” Initially, it felt great.

Who doesn’t like to be welcomed like that?

But over time, I noticed that her cheerfulness didn’t extend beyond that morning greeting.

She would rarely engage in meaningful conversation with me and often seemed disinterested when I tried to initiate one.

It became clear that her morning greeting was more of a routine than genuine warmth.

So remember, real niceness involves more than just pleasant greetings; it requires genuine connection and interest in others.

7. “I’m Just Being Honest”

When someone starts a sentence with “I’m just being honest,” brace yourself.

More often than not, it’s a preface to a hurtful or critical comment.

Sure, honesty is important, but genuine people know how to communicate their thoughts without being rude or callous.

So if someone is constantly “just being honest” at the expense of your feelings, they’re probably not as nice as they’re pretending to be.

Let’s face it, true kindness isn’t about blunt honesty; it’s about empathy and understanding.

8. “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”

This phrase might sound like an apology, but it often isn’t one.

It’s more like a sly way of shifting the blame onto you, without the person actually taking responsibility for their actions or words.

Now, here’s an interesting fact: according to a study published in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology, people who frequently use such indirect apologies are more likely to be perceived as insincere.

So, if someone constantly says “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of offering a genuine apology, they’re probably not being as nice as they want you to believe.

9. “I Don’t Mean to Be Rude, But…”

I once had a friend who was quite fond of this phrase.

It always preceded a comment that was, in fact, quite rude or hurtful.

Over time, I realized that this was her way of cushioning the blow while still saying what she wanted.

The facade of politeness didn’t change the fact that she was being rude; it just made it easier for her to get away with it.

If someone frequently uses this phrase, they might be hiding behind a mask of fake niceness while being insensitive or unkind.

Genuine people know how to express their thoughts considerately without having to preface their statements like this.

10. “No Offense, But…”

Let’s cut to the chase here.

When someone says “no offense, but…” there’s a pretty good chance they’re about to say something offensive.

It’s like they’re trying to get a free pass to be rude or hurtful by stating upfront that they don’t intend to offend.

But let’s be real – if you’re genuinely concerned about not offending someone, you’ll find a more thoughtful way to express your opinion.

11. “Not to Brag, But…”

This phrase typically sets the stage for someone to boast about themselves or their achievements under the guise of humility.

It’s a sneaky way of seeking praise without appearing too self-centered. But don’t be fooled – genuine humility doesn’t require a disclaimer.

Truly nice and humble people let their actions speak for themselves.

There you have it! If you hear these phrases often, you might be dealing with someone who’s not as nice as they seem.

Remember, true kindness is consistent, sincere, and doesn’t need to hide behind empty words. So keep your ears open and your instincts sharp!

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