8 subtle signs that someone is lying to you

We’ve all been there — chatting with someone and getting that nagging feeling that something just doesn’t add up. 

Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a colleague, it can make us question our own judgment. 

So, how can you tell when someone is feeding you a line? 

Trust me, you don’t have to be a human lie detector or an FBI agent to figure it out. 

Through personal experiences and some observation, I’ve nailed down 8 subtle signs that may indicate someone is lying to you. 

Keep reading, because this could be a game-changer.

1) They maintain too little or too much eye contact

Eye contact is one of those funny things — it’s the most common thing in the world and yet it can tell you so much.

I remember sitting down for coffee with an old friend who couldn’t seem to look me in the eyes when answering a simple question about his weekend plans. 

It’s not like I expect someone to look at me non-stop — it’s natural for the eyes to glance away or move around the environment when you’re the one talking. 

But in this case it felt strange, almost like he was avoiding my gaze on purpose.

On the flip side, I’ve met people who maintain intense eye contact, as if trying to prove their honesty. It felt unnatural, almost like they were overcompensating. 

Both extremes made me pause and think, “What’s really going on here?”

The key is to look for a shift in behavior. If someone typically maintains a balanced amount of eye contact but suddenly changes, take note.

2) They adopt a defensive posture 

Have you ever asked someone a simple question, only to have them cross their arms, lean back, or even put up a physical barrier like a purse between you and them? 

If someone is consciously lying to you, they’ll probably be careful to not be so obvious about it. But often, the body still gives it away in subtler ways. 

I experienced this when I questioned a co-worker about missing a deadline. She had prepared an answer in advance, and delivered it in a pretty convincing way.

But when I asked her about details, her mind had to focus on developing more explanations, and she couldn’t pay so much attention to her body anymore.

Her shoulders slowly curled inwards and she put her arms on the table in front of her, as if to create a barrier.

At some point she realized it, and suddenly adopted a more relaxed posture again. 

While it’s not concrete evidence of lying, a sudden change to a defensive posture can be a red flag that something’s off.

3) They have a delay in responding

When someone knows they will have to lie, they often prepare their lie in advance to plan a convincing reply, like my colleague in the example above. 

But sometimes you might catch someone off guard. And then, their brain needs to very quickly come up with an answer — so they take just a beat too long to respond. 

It happened to me when I questioned a friend about why he was late to our meetup. 

It’s a simple question to answer if all you have to do is say what literally just happened to you. But instead, there was a pause that lasted just a second too long, and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

Even if they’re not fabricating a story, they’re obviously carefully choosing their words, which still means they’re not being upfront with you.

4) They give too many or too few details

Just like eye contact, this is another sign that could be at either end of the spectrum.

Some people may not want to get tangled in a convoluted lie, and so they give minimal details.

On the other hand, some people may try to put on a show of being honest by providing lots of details, as if they have nothing to hide.

But this is when many people forget what amount of details is normal, and their explanation starts to sound like a screenplay, complete with background characters and unnecessary plot twists.

Experienced liars usually don’t overdo it this way, so it will be much more subtle. 

Listen to your gut to see if any detail feels out of place, or it feels like they’re withholding information that should be natural for them to say.

5) They give inconsistent details

There’s only one version of the truth, and so if someone is telling something as it really happened, there’s no reason for any part of the story to change.

But if they have to make it up, it can be hard for them to keep track of all the details. 

They may not have thought everything through, and then have to fill in the gaps in their story on the fly. 

And when this happens, the brain can’t think quickly enough through all the connections between different parts of the story, so certain details won’t fit together anymore. 

I must admit I actually made this mistake myself not long ago. My intentions were good — I was planning a surprise party for a friend of mine and so I had to make up an excuse for why I couldn’t attend our dance class together one week.

I said I had a doctor’s appointment, but at some point later on in the conversation I slipped up and accidentally mentioned that I had gone to the store that day (as I was buying supplies). 

My brain wasn’t able to keep up with what details it was supposed to censor or exchange for what other details.

6) They overuse phrases about being honest

Another subtle sign that someone is lying to you is that they pepper the conversation with phrases like “to be honest,” “trust me,” or “I swear”.

To be fair, I use these phrases a lot myself — and I’m certainly not in the habit of lying all the time. So don’t jump to conclusions just because someone uses these expressions.

Having said that, they are still something you should take into consideration as it can be a way for a person to try to prove their truthfulness. It’s as if they think repeating these words will somehow make their statements more credible. 

But the reality is, if you’re genuinely being truthful, you don’t need to keep affirming it.

Personally, I find it difficult to use phrases like this if I have to lie. They come out when I really am being honest.

So as I mentioned earlier already, consider deviations from a person’s normal way of expressing themselves. 

7) Their tone or pitch changes 

Have you ever tried this psychological game? Someone tells you to not think about elephants. And even though normally they’re the last thing you would have thought about, suddenly you can’t seem to turn your thoughts away from elephants.

It’s the same thing when it comes to being natural. 

You don’t even think about the way your voice sounds when you speak normally, but if you have to focus on it, suddenly you have no idea how you’re supposed to talk or act. 

As a result, a person’s voice may sound more uptight than usual, or they may speak slower or faster than is the norm for them. 

Or, their pitch may be higher or lower than usual, or waver as if they’re unsure about something.

This clue is often overlooked in favour of more obvious ones such as whether a person looks left or right, or if they touch their mouth or nose.

However, be sure to pay attention to it as it’s things like this that are harder for a person to consciously control.

8) They have nervous body language

Lastly, a person who is lying to you might give themselves away if they seem unusually nervous. 

A cute example of this is my nephew. One year during Christmas, I saw that some cookies had disappeared off the tree, even though we had a rule about not taking them until after opening the presents. 

When I asked him if he had taken them, his eyes darted away, and his fingers started fidgeting. He mumbled “no,” but his nervous movements screamed “guilty!”

Obviously, an adult won’t be so obvious about it, but you get the point.

They might scratch their nose or their face, their eyes might dart away, or they might cross their arms as if they’re physically guarding against the truth coming out.

While it’s true that nervous body language can appear in innocent situations, when it’s combined with some of the other signs on this list, it strengthens the case that someone may not be telling the truth.

Become an expert at catching people who are lying to you

You’ve just learned 8 signs that someone is lying to you.

As you keep these in mind during your next conversations, remember that none of these signs alone confirm that someone is dishonest.

It’s a combination of them that you have to watch out for.

And also remember to take into account the context and know the person’s usual behavior before drawing conclusions. 

If you suspect someone is lying to you, it’s often best to keep an open mind and dig deeper to confirm your suspicions.