6 subtle ways to make him jealous (and want you more)

by Isabel Cabrera | December 8, 2023, 10:43 am

Ah, the age-old question: how do you make someone realize they can’t live without you? 

After a captivating chat with a relationship and intimacy expert, I’ve got some insider tips to share. And it turns out that sometimes, a little jealousy can go a long way in sparking that fire. 

Maybe you’re in a situation where you want him to start noticing you, or maybe you want to rekindle a fading spark. 

Either way, it’s your time to shine, and I’m going to let you in on 6 subtle tricks that can make him sit up, take notice, and, most importantly, desire you more than ever. 

Ready to fan the flame? Let’s dive in.

1) Build your confidence

We all know that building confidence is easier said than done. It’s a journey, one that involves taking small steps every day and forgiving yourself when you stumble. 

But let me tell you something: your confidence has the power to turn heads, including his. 

After my enlightening conversation with a relationship and intimacy expert, it became crystal clear that self-assurance is a magnet for desire.

So, how do you start this journey? First off, consider affirmations. Start your day by standing in front of the mirror, looking yourself in the eye, and declaring your worth. 

Say things like, “I am strong,” “I am capable,” or “I deserve love and happiness.”

Secondly, invest time in yourself. Whether it’s going to the gym, pursuing a hobby, or simply reading a book that enriches your soul, making yourself a priority boosts self-esteem

And let me tell you, he will notice when you start to carry yourself differently.

Lastly, practice self-compassion. Everyone makes mistakes, but those errors don’t define you. When you’re comfortable with who you are, warts and all, it radiates a kind of self-assurance that’s irresistibly attractive.

2) Invest in your personal growth

Imagine becoming a version of yourself that not only you love more but also draws people in, including that special guy.

The relationship expert I talked to emphasized this: personal growth is a relationship game changer. 

And it’s particularly potent with an ex — when he sees positive change in you since you broke up, he may wonder if he made the wrong decision seeing the even more awesome person you’re becoming.

So how do you grow in ways that will catch his eye?

It can take any form you want it to — the most important aspect is that it’s something you genuinely want to grow in. After all, you’re doing this first and foremost for yourself!

Maybe it’s a new hobby, or an online course, or perhaps a certification that will propel you forward at work. 

Or, it could even be something to develop your soft skills, such as active listening or conflict resolution. 

Either way, growing as a person will make you irresistibly interesting and exciting to be around. The top benefit is that you’re becoming a better version of yourself — but a great bonus is boosting your attractiveness. 

3) Maintain your independence

You’ve met someone new and the chemistry is electric. But here’s the deal: Independence is your secret weapon to keep that spark alive and make him really notice you. 

It’s especially potent when you’re just starting to date someone new.

Instead of waiting for his text or call, go ahead and make your own plans. There’s something irresistibly appealing about a woman who doesn’t need a man but chooses to be with one. 

Plan girls’ nights out, pencil in self-care weekends, and don’t hesitate to dive into personal projects or work events. This shows you’re perfectly capable of a fulfilling life without him.

And let’s not forget the power dynamics. When he sees that you’re not hanging on his every word, he’ll realize that he has to step up his game. 

Your independence highlights your value, sending a clear message: if he wants to be part of your exciting life, he needs to put in the effort.

So, don’t just sit there waiting for him to set the pace. Your life is happening now, and he should feel lucky to be a part of it. Independence not only enriches your own life but also adds a unique layer of allure that will make him want to be a bigger part of your world.

4) Work on your health and fitness

Before we get into appearance, know this: you should never feel like you have to conform to someone else’s idea of beauty or attractiveness. You are enough just as you are. 

However, working on your health and fitness isn’t about changing yourself for someone else; it’s about being the best you for you. 

And yes, it also happens to be a fantastic way to spark desire and even a hint of jealousy in someone you’re interested in.

Taking control of your health means more energy, a happier mindset, and a body you feel good in — elements that anyone, especially that special guy, will notice. 

But don’t just hit the gym to take some #fitspiration selfies (although those certainly don’t hurt). Focus on creating a balanced life that includes physical activity you enjoy, a diet that fuels you, and mental wellness practices that keep you centered.

So, whether you’re into yoga, hiking, or a home workout, getting fit naturally boosts your self-confidence and magnetism. 

And let’s be real — when you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you radiate a kind of irresistible energy that people, including men, pick up on.

Remember, this is not about meeting societal standards; it’s about feeling empowered in your own skin.

And the side effect of all this empowerment? A radiant you that he won’t be able to take his eyes off, making him wonder how he got so lucky to have caught your attention in the first place.

5) Maintain boundaries

Let’s be honest: nothing says “I’m not easily won over” like a woman who knows how to set boundaries. It signals self-respect and tells him that while you may be interested, you’re not desperate. 

This sense of autonomy can be incredibly alluring and even make him a bit jealous, because it shows that you’re not solely focused on him — you have your own life and standards.

If he’s truly into you, he’ll respect these boundaries and may even work harder to win your affection.

Boundaries can be anything from not being available at his every beck and call, to defining your comfort zones in physical intimacy, to clearly communicating your needs in the relationship

The important part is sticking to them.

Don’t be afraid to say no to plans if you’ve already scheduled some me-time or a night out with friends. It will show him that he needs to put in the effort to be a part of your life, not just expect you to fit into his. 

You’re an incredible woman with a lot to offer, and maintaining boundaries ensures that he recognizes and values this. 

6) Cultivate separate hobbies

Having separate hobbies not only adds another layer to your persona, it gives you and your partner the space to miss each other. 

When you reunite, you’ve got thrilling stories to share and fresh energy to bring into your time together. It makes each encounter feel like a new chapter, rather than a rerun of the same old show.

In a long-term relationship especially, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the “we” and forget about the “me.” Yet, having your own hobbies reignites that sense of individuality and mystery that drew you to each other in the first place. 

The relationship expert I talked to stressed how crucial this is for sustaining long-term desire. It’s a way to refresh the sense of intrigue you have about each other, even years down the line.

Now, for those of you who are still in the exciting, nerve-wracking, butterfly-filled phase of starting to date someone, displaying passion in your hobbies can be downright magnetic.

Your enthusiasm will show him that the passion you put into your hobbies could very well translate into the energy and commitment you’d bring into a relationship.

So, whether it’s painting, hiking, playing an instrument, or practicing yoga — keep doing what fills you with joy. 

Not only does it make you a more well-rounded person, but the passion and electricity you radiate will make him want to be a part of your ever-so-interesting life.

Ignite his interest without playing games

There you have it — six key ways to subtly make him jealous and spark his desire for you, whether you’re just starting to date or are in a committed relationship. 

These aren’t gimmicks or manipulative tactics; they’re meaningful actions that make you a better person, which in turn makes you irresistibly attractive. 

From building confidence and investing in personal growth, to nurturing independence and keeping the spark alive with separate hobbies, you’re not just leveling up for him — you’re doing it for you. 

Because ultimately, a better you is the best kind of irresistible.

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