8 things healthy relationships are built on (which have nothing to do with love)

Congratulations! You’ve just entered a brand new relationship. 

Everything’s fresh and exciting. Not to mention, you’re so giddy it feels as if you’re the lead in an early 2000s rom-com.

You might even be in love! 

That’s great. But what they don’t tell you in all the books, movies, or blogs is that love alone isn’t enough. 

It’s just the start. 

The hard truth is, that strong and meaningful relationships require much more than that if they’re going to succeed. 

So what’s the answer? 

Well, here are eight things healthy relationships are built on that transcend the butterflies.  

Let’s see if you recognize any.

1) Trust

Arguably the most important pillar of any well-adjusted relationship, trust makes us feel safe.

It does this by reducing uncertainty and giving us the confidence to rely on another person by proving their commitment. 

Of course, trust isn’t limited to romance. 

Friends, family, coworkers… even the barista that makes your latte in the morning. They all require some level of trust.

But trust doesn’t come easy. It takes time to earn it, and mere seconds to lose it. 

And with good reason. 

Think about it. Trust makes us vulnerable. 

And having faith that someone else has our back in times of need. Or believing that they’re being wholly honest and transparent with us, can be scary. 

Especially if we’ve been hurt or double-crossed in the past.

No wonder love and betrayal is usually the main theme of art, film, and literature. 

2) Honesty

Without honesty, there can be no trust. 

Strong words, I know. But it’s true. 

If you’re caught telling lies or playing fast and loose with the truth, it’s a surefire way to lose someone’s confidence in you.

And for many, dishonesty in a relationship (no matter how small) is a real deal-breaker. 

But it’s not all doom and gloom. 

It turns out that honesty can be beneficial to you as well as your partner. 

According to experts, honesty promotes self-control, self-belief, happiness, and feelings of life satisfaction.

That said, some argue that there’s such a thing as too much honesty. 

Because, let’s face it, some things are best left unsaid. 

It’s all about the intention.

For instance, boosting someone’s confidence or not hurting their feelings. 

At the end of the day, it’s up to you and your partner to establish what’s acceptable (and not) by setting out some ground rules. 

In order to do that, you need to choose your words wisely. 

3) Communication

Seems obvious enough.

But you should never underestimate the simple act of sitting down and speaking to your partner. 

In fact, communication can do wonders for your relationship. 

It allows you to share opinions, resolve conflicts, and gain an understanding of each other’s feelings. 

And by openly expressing your emotions, you can both reflect and grow together.

But remember, communication isn’t just about talking. 

It’s about listening too!

Simply put, active listening allows you to fully engage with your partner. Not to mention, it demonstrates compassion and understanding. 

There’s even some science behind it. 

That’s right. Listening has been proven to make the speaker feel seen and heard. It can also help prevent misunderstandings. 

Most of all, it demonstrates mutual respect. Speaking of which…

4) Respect

All the love in the world isn’t going to save your relationship if there’s no respect. 

What do I mean by that? 

Well, let me put it this way. Mutual respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. 

Not only does it foster feelings of equality. But it displays a willingness to accept each other’s beliefs, opinions, goals, and boundaries. Even if they’re different from your own.

But it doesn’t stop there. 

Experts claim that mutual respect is key to a couple’s problem-solving ability.

And it goes without saying, that you both must have an equal say in the decision-making process.

After all, relationships are about making each other feel valued and comfortable.

5) Boundaries

Love is about two (sometimes more) people connecting. Think of it as a partnership. 

But when you bring different people together, there are bound to be days when your opinions don’t quite align. Even if you’re typically very alike. 

And that’s okay!

But that’s also why setting boundaries is so vital. Particularly when you’re starting something new.

So what do I mean by that?

Well, boundaries can be anything from respecting each other’s personal space or time, to acknowledging the things that make someone comfortable. Or in some cases, not.

You see, clear boundaries allow you to address each other’s needs. In turn, this gives room for compromise, adaptability, and more resilience to outside change. 

And so long as you talk it through first, boundaries can help your relationship to flourish, become stronger, and increase relationship satisfaction. 

Both when you’re together or apart. 

6) Individuality

Have you ever been in a relationship so long that you start to feel like the same person?

It’s cute, right? But not entirely healthy. 

Listen. When you’re with someone for years, maybe even decades, it’s understandable that you have shared interests, common values, and even the same social circles. 

Honestly, after that amount of time together, it’s to be expected. 

That said, it’s just as important that you have your own interests, friends, and hobbies. 

And it’s crucial that you both support and respect each other’s independence to avoid feelings of resentment or being held back later on.

Ultimately, embracing your uniqueness allows you to grow together as individuals. Even if it’s by doing separate activities.

Just remember, don’t let doubt or fear dictate your actions. If your relationship is meant to last, it will only make your partnership stronger in the long run. 

Instead, think of it as an opportunity. 

Not only can time apart bring you closer (and give you the chance to miss each other). But it gives you something to talk about other than household chores, bills, or work by breaking the monotony of daily life.

7) Support

Relationships aren’t always easy. There are going to be good, bad, and downright awful times. 

And the good news?

Well, when you’re in a relationship, you’ve got someone there to morally and emotionally support you – whatever the situation.

That’s if you’re in a healthy relationship, anyway. 

Of course, support comes in all shapes and sizes. 

But showing the person you care about support when they need it, proves that you’re committed and there for the long haul. 

Plus professionals have found that having a solid support system can improve your physical and mental health. 

8) Laughter

Last but not least, what’s more important than fun?

Relationships are all about making lasting memories. And I can’t think of a better way of spending my days than letting off steam and having a laugh with my SO. 

I’ll admit it. I’m a sucker for a good sense of humor. I hate taking life too seriously. 

And in my experience, a little lightheartedness can relieve stress during times of strife. 

Of course, I’m not unique when it comes to having fun. 

Studies suggest that fun is more, well, fun when you’re with someone else. 

And thanks to oxytocin, the ‘happy’ or ‘love’ hormone, it can increase feelings of closeness and other relationship-enhancing effects.

Not to mention laughter reduces stress through the release of endorphins. 

So the effects are not only emotional but chemical too!