11 things self-assured people never do in relationships

What’s the secret to a fulfilling relationship? Is it love, compatibility, or understanding? 

Yes, all these matter. But there’s one thing that’s often overlooked – self-assurance.

Indeed, self-assured people navigate relationships differently, standing their ground while still showing empathy and understanding.

But what exactly do they do differently?

Let’s dive into the 11 things self-assured people never do in relationships.

1) They never let their partner define their self-worth

Think about the most self-assured person you know. 

Now, try to imagine them basing their self-worth on someone else’s opinion. 

Difficult, right? 

That’s because self-assured people know that their value comes from within. Their partner’s view may matter, but it doesn’t dictate their self-worth.

Let’s admit it: we’ve all been guilty of it at some point: tying our self-esteem to the approval of our partner. 

However, self-assured people never make this mistake. Their confidence stems from within, not from how someone else perceives them. 

So, ask yourself: Are you sourcing your self-esteem from your partner, or are you fueling it yourself?

2) They never lose their independence

Ever watched a solo traveler expertly navigate a foreign city? 

Well, that’s how self-assured people navigate their relationships. 

They enjoy their partner’s company, but they also treasure their independence.

The reason is that self-assured people maintain their hobbies, friendships, and personal growth. And the best part?

They don’t lose themselves in the relationship.

So, here’s the thing:

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to stop being your own person. 

So, think like self-assured people who value their autonomy, even within a relationship.

The question is, are you holding on to your independence, or are you losing yourself in your relationship?

3) They never compromise on their core values

Imagine someone offering you a million dollars to betray a friend. 

You’d refuse, right? 

That’s how self-assured people feel about their core values. 

They hold onto them firmly, even if it means disagreeing with their partner. These values guide their decisions and actions, becoming the bedrock of their relationships.

Now, you might wonder: isn’t it counter-intuitive? 

Yes, I’m not denying that compromise is a vital part of any relationship. 

But guess what?

The thing is that self-assured individuals know where to draw the line. Why?

Because they know what’s important to them, and they’re not afraid to stand up for it.

4) They never ignore their gut instincts

Now, let’s reflect on this one a bit. 

Have you ever had a feeling that something wasn’t right, even though everything seemed perfect? 

Believe me — that’s your gut instinct talking. And self-assured people never ignore it!

They value their intuition and use it as a guide, especially in complex relationship matters.

You see, it’s like their secret superpower. 

Here’s how they make use of it:

• They trust their inner voice and use it as a guiding force
• They evaluate their gut feelings with their rational mind
• Rather than fearing this instinctive feeling, they embrace it
• They act on their gut feelings

Sounds impressive?

Now, the empowering part is, this superpower isn’t exclusive to the self-assured. 

Each one of us has it within us. It’s just about tuning in, trusting it, and taking the leap.

5) They never tolerate disrespectful behavior

Picture a fort: solid, unyielding, and protective. 

Believe it or not, that’s exactly how self-assured people guard their dignity.

They respect themselves enough to set boundaries and not tolerate any form of disrespect. 

What about disparaging remarks, manipulation, or violation?

Well, it’s a clear no-go.

Let’s admit it: everyone has boundaries. But self-assured individuals make theirs clear from the get-go. 

They refuse to accept behavior that crosses these lines, whether it’s constant criticism, emotional manipulation, or outright disrespect. 

In simple terms, they understand that respect is a non-negotiable for a healthy relationship.

6) They never settle for less than they deserve

Isn’t it fascinating how some people have a clear understanding of their worth? 

Like a well-known brand, they don’t compromise on their quality. 

The truth is that self-assured people are just like that. 

They know their value and aren’t afraid to demand the respect, understanding, and love that they deserve in a relationship. 

Do self-assured people stay in unsatisfying relationships? 

Never. They know their worth and won’t settle for less. They’d rather be single than in a relationship where they aren’t appreciated or valued.

If this sounds appealing, then here’s the question you should ask yourself:

Are you settling for less in your relationship, or are you standing your ground and demanding what you deserve?

Try to reflect and remember: deserve respect, love, and happiness. Don’t settle for less!

7) They never let fear guide their decisions

How many times have you stepped back from a situation, not because it wasn’t right, but because you were scared? 

Admit it. It’s a common reaction. 

But here’s what sets self-assured individuals apart: 

They refuse to let fear dictate their decisions. 

Sure, fear can be intimidating. It’s a powerful emotion that can cloud our judgment. Even more — fear is an integral part of human nature. 

But imagine letting fear dictate your life. Sounds like a nightmare, right?

Self-assured individuals refuse to let fear control their decisions. Instead, they use fear as a signpost, a guide to areas they need to confront and work on, not a stop sign. 

That’s how they muster the courage to face their fears head-on.

8) They never lose their identity in the relationship

“Who am I?” 

This existential question has baffled philosophers for ages. But here’s an interesting fact: 

In relationships, this query takes a different turn when one starts losing their identity. 

Something I learned during my social psychology classes at university was the importance of maintaining individuality in a relationship. 

The professors hammered it into us – avoid blending identities at all costs! 

It stuck with me, and it’s a lesson that self-assured individuals live by.

They understand that their individuality is not a casualty of their relationship. Instead, it’s the very essence that makes the relationship vibrant and healthy. 

Now I need you to remember: a relationship comprises two unique individuals, not two halves of a whole. 

That’s how you can stay true to who you really are!

9) They never put their dreams on hold for their partner

But wait, it’s not only about power to avoid blended identities, there’s more: 

Self-assured individuals have dreams and aspirations that they hold dear. They don’t shelve these dreams for the sake of their partner. 

Wondering what they do instead?

Well, they strive for a balance between pursuing their dreams and nurturing their relationship. 

The thing is that they understand that a healthy relationship should encourage personal growth, not hinder it.

 After all, what’s a relationship without growth and progress? 

So, have you been sidelining your dreams for your relationship, or are you actively chasing them while balancing your relationship?

10) They never avoid difficult conversations

Ever popped a balloon? 

Then you probably know that it’s startling, but it reduces tension. 

That’s how self-assured people view difficult conversations — they might be uncomfortable, but they know they’re necessary for a healthy relationship. 

Here’s an intriguing fact: 

Research has found that couples who engage in constructive arguments tend to have healthier, happier relationships. Surprised?

Well, that’s because difficult conversations are often the pathway to understanding, growth, and resolution. 

They bring underlying issues to light and allow for problem-solving. 

However, these conversations are also, well, difficult. But guess what self-assured individuals don’t do? 

They don’t shy away from these tough talks. They approach difficult conversations with honesty, openness, and respect.

Related: 11 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who can’t express their feelings

11) They never stop investing in personal growth

So here we are, at the final and perhaps most pivotal point on our list. Here’s the deal: 

Self-assured individuals never stop investing in personal growth.

Sounds simple, right? But it’s not always easy to remember when you’re deep in a relationship.

Yet, self-assured people get it. They understand that to grow in a relationship, they need to grow individually first. They continue to learn, evolve, and strive to be their best version. 

And they do it not just for their partners, but for themselves too.

Because let’s face it, the most significant relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. The more you work on it, the more fulfilling your other relationships will be.

How can you be more self-assured in your relationships?

Now, even if you think that it’s a daunting task to embrace the habits of self-assured people, you need to know one thing:

All journeys start with a single step. So, why not start now? 

Here are some practical steps to becoming more self-assured in your relationships:

• Boost your self-esteem – Believe in yourself and your abilities. Remember, you’re unique and bring your special touch to your relationships.

• Maintain your independence – Keep investing time in your hobbies, interests, and friendships. Your relationship is a part of your life, not your entire life.

• Trust your instincts – If something doesn’t feel right, address it. Your intuition is a powerful ally.

• Set clear boundaries – Decide what behaviors you will tolerate and communicate your boundaries clearly.

• Pursue your dreams – Your ambitions are important. Keep pursuing them, even as you nurture your relationship.

So, how many of these traits are you embodying in your relationship? 

Whatever the answer, remember this: you have the power to become more self-assured.

Related: 12 bad habits that are sabotaging your relationships