If you do these 15 things, you’re definitely an introvert

by Brendan Brown | June 5, 2024, 11:27 am

Here’s a question: when you attend a get-together, are you the life of the party or do you hang back and talk to one person most of the time?

If you’ve ever felt that social events are draining, or that you find solace in solitude, there’s a chance you’re an introvert.

If you are one, congratulations! There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. They are considered deep thinkers and great listeners, you know? They can connect well one-on-one. I know because I am one. And, I’m proud of it.

Introversion isn’t about being shy or reclusive—though some close-minded extroverts might judge introverts as such.

Introverts just happen to draw their energy from solitude and quiet. They engage with the world differently than extroverts, who find fuel in group settings and attention.

So are you lucky enough to be an introvert? Here are 15 ways that make you one in case you’re not sure…

1) You feel drained after social events

Even if you enjoy parties, as an introvert, you might find yourself feeling drained afterward.

Though other party-goers and -throwers might be offended, this isn’t a reflection on the people you were with or the event itself. Introverts expend energy in social situations and need time alone to recharge.

Introverts will also typically find extroverts draining.

I once had an intensely extroverted person over, and by hour two, I was dying for them to leave because the nonstop talking was overwhelming to me. I also couldn’t get a word in edgewise, so it didn’t feel like an even two-way street.

It didn’t mean I didn’t like the extrovert who was in my home. I just wanted to deal with them in small doses.

Think of it like you’re running a marathon. No matter how exhilarating the run is, you’ll need time to rest and regain your strength.

2) You prefer one-on-one interactions

Introverts often prefer deep, meaningful conversations with one person over group interactions.

Is this you? It’s not that you dislike people. It’s that you feel more comfortable and can connect better in a one-on-one setting.

As an introvert, I am also very choosy about who I interact with. I’m quite protective of who I connect with. I only have so much energy to offer up before I need to recharge solo, so I have to be selective.

You might find that these conversations are more rewarding and less draining than trying to engage with a group.

Related: If you use these 20 phrases, you’re probably an emotionally intelligent person

3) You’re a good listener

Being a good listener is a hallmark of introversion.

You’re genuinely interested in understanding others’ perspectives, making you an attentive listener.

Your friends might often turn to you for advice because you take the time to understand their issues before jumping in with your opinion.

4) You enjoy solitude

If you’re an introvert, spending time alone isn’t lonely—it’s restorative. You welcome it. You look forward to it!

You use this time to reflect, plan, or delve into hobbies you’re passionate about.

The solitude isn’t a way to escape from the world though. It’s merely a way to engage with it on your terms.

I’m getting excited just thinking about spending alone time as I write this article, no lie.

5) You’re a deep thinker

Introverts often dive deep into their thoughts, reflecting on experiences, considering possibilities, and forming big-picture concepts.

You likely spend time considering different scenarios or viewpoints before expressing your thoughts.

It makes you very open-minded and caring.

6) You value few but deep connections

Rather than having many acquaintances, as an introvert, you likely have a close circle of friends.

And you don’t just let anyone in. You don’t have an open-door policy. Rather, you are specific about who you open up to.

Of the relationships you allow in, they are deep, meaningful and built on trust and mutual understanding.

Quality, for you, invariably trumps quantity when it comes to relationships.

Related: 8 things emotionally intelligent people never do in relationships

7) You take time to make decisions

If you’re an introvert, you probably take your time to think things through before making a decision.

Your thoughtful nature is a wonderful trait that those you care about should appreciate more.

Don’t assume this is indecisiveness. Instead, it reflects your desire to consider all options and possible outcomes.

You prefer to analyze and understand the situation fully before taking action. Luckily, you spend enough time alone so you can actually focus on decisions you have to make.

8) You work well independently

As an introvert, you can manage your time well and work independently without requiring constant validation.

Consider yourself self-motivated, which does wonderful things for productivity.

You’re often content to work on projects alone, delve into the details, and produce quality work.

However, your independence doesn’t mean you can’t work in teams. You just find solitary work more fulfilling and less stressful.

9) You’re self-aware

Introverts are often introspective and self-aware.

You naturally have a good understanding of your feelings, thoughts, and motivations.

This self-awareness helps you navigate life with a clear understanding of who you are, what you want, and where your place is in this world.

But have you ever heard the notion that “ignorance is bliss”? Well, you experience the opposite. This self-awareness might make you think too much.

Simply take note so you can check yourself before you become too self-critical.

10) You’re observant

If you’re an introvert, you likely notice details that others might miss.

You’re often observant and thoughtful, absorbing what’s going on around you. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

This ability can make you insightful and creative, as you can see connections that others might overlook.

The downside? There are many things you can’t unsee.

Related: 15 signs you’re an authentic person, even if you don’t think so

11) You think before you speak

As an introvert, you likely spend time formulating your thoughts before you voice them.

This doesn’t mean you’re hesitant or unsure, but rather that you value clear and meaningful communication.

You prefer to articulate your thoughts precisely, and sometimes, that takes a bit of time.

12) You need your personal space

Introverts value their personal space.

It’s not about being antisocial, but rather about creating an environment where you can recharge, think, and work at your best.

Your personal space is likely well organized and comforting, a place where you can relax and be yourself.

13) You’re not comfortable with small talk

If you’re an introvert, you might find small talk to be exhausting and unfulfilling. You’ll shy away from it, and say to yourself, “What do I even have to say that’s meaningful here?”

I get it. Been there. I suck at banter. But catch me in an interesting, philosophical chat, and I’m hooked and can divulge with depth.

Introverts prefer deeper conversations that allow them to truly understand the other person.

As an introvert, I can honestly say, those people I have taken the time to get to know, I truly know them.

This isn’t about being unfriendly or aloof at all, but about seeking meaningful interactions.

14) You’re not easily bored

Introverts can often entertain themselves with their thoughts and ideas.

You might spend time reading, thinking, or engaging in activities you’re passionate about.

Your rich inner world can keep you entertained, even when you’re alone.

15) You’re sensitive to external stimulation

As an introvert, you might be more sensitive to external stimulation like loud noises or bustling crowds.

This sensitivity isn’t about being finicky or overly delicate, but rather about your preference for quieter, more peaceful environments.

Remember, being an introvert is not a limitation. It’s a personality trait that comes with its own strengths.

What makes people introverted in the first place?

Introversion, like many aspects of personality, is believed to be a combination of the following factors:

  • Genetic: Research suggests that personality traits like introversion and extroversion are about 40-50% heritable. The introvert’s brain is essentially wired differently from an extrovert’s. For instance, introverts have been found to have a higher blood flow in the frontal lobe of the brain, an area associated with remembering events, making plans, and solving problems.
  • Environmental: This includes cultural context and family upbringing. A child who grows up in a quieter, more introspective household may be more likely to develop introverted tendencies.
  • Developmental: Some children are naturally more quiet and reserved, while others are more outgoing. These early tendencies can influence how a person interacts with the world as they grow, reinforcing introverted or extroverted traits.
  • Psychological: Some theories propose that introverts are more sensitive to dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with reward-seeking behaviors. Introverts may find too much stimulation overwhelming, leading to their preference for more quiet, introspective activities.
  • Behavioral conditioning: Life experiences can also shape our behaviors. If a person consistently finds social interactions to be stressful or unrewarding, they may start to avoid them, reinforcing introverted behaviors.

Final words

Remember, introversion is not a “one-size-fits-all” characteristic. There are various degrees of introversion, and it’s just one aspect of a person’s overall personality.

If you are an introvert, embrace and use it to your advantage. As the observant, thoughtful, and calm person that you are, you can harness that to make great connections with people.

After all, the world needs listeners, deep thinkers, and independent workers as much as it needs the outgoing and the gregarious.

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