8 things you’ll never hear a genuinely happy person say

The things we say tend to have noticeable impacts not only on our own moods but of those around us.

In the words of Canadian author Robin Sharma, ‘words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well’.

With the power to start a revolution at the tip of your tongue, it’s worth considering not only what you say, but the tone in which you say it.

People who maintain a positive and upbeat outlook on life tend also to incorporate happiness into the way in which they speak.

We hear a lot about manifesting your perfect life.

Whether or not you’re a manifestation believer, it is worth considering how much negative self-talk you use.

After all, constantly complaining, belittling yourself, or criticizing others can leave your own ego bruised and those around you feeling gloomy.

Genuinely happy people tend to avoid a certain tone of statements which sound something like the following:

1) “I can’t”

Cue motivational quotes about how you absolutely can, you just haven’t tried.

But trying your absolute hardest only to be beaten down again and again can leave anyone feeling disheartened and incapable.

Still, in the words of Henry Ford; ‘if you think you can’t, you won’t. If you think you can, you will’.

Believing yourself incapable and vocalizing this will only confirm your doubts about your abilities.

What’s better is to embrace the many privileges life throws your way. After all, the odds of you being alive are estimated at around one in 400 trillion.

Your entire existence is a miracle.

Genuinely happy people will take any chance to express how grateful they are to be alive and to be given the opportunities other bundles of cosmic stardust never had access to.

2) “I’ll do it later”

Apart from when it comes to playing dress up with your nieces, there are few occasions in which happy people will say things like “I’ll do it later” or “that can wait”.

Part of savouring every morsel of life means seizing the moment.

And that means chasing your dreams, regardless of whether you think it’s the right time or not.

3) “It’s too late”

In the same way that happy people don’t put off dreams and new habits until later, they also don’t make excuses for having forgotten to do certain things or complete deadlines.

The prime opportunity might have passed, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not still worth a shot.

Genuinely happy people are happy to give things a go regardless of the circumstance.

They know that the ability to try doesn’t come with an expiry date, so there’s no point trying to shift the blame or avoid trying new things with such a poor excuse.

4) “I hate you”

The capacity of genuinely happy people to forgive is immense.

They don’t hold on to grudges.

Admittedly, yes, we’ve all been through periods where a fleeting thought of an ex who did us wrong or a rude salesperson leaves us quaking with anger.

But happy people let go of this anger.

They know that holding on to resentment and grudges only sours happiness.

Whilst forgiveness in itself is difficult, they often have a big heart and are immensely understanding when it comes to resolving conflict and forgiving those who hurt them.

Hence you’ll never hear them voicing that resentment.

5) “This is boring”

Happy people are rarely bored!

And even when they have nothing to do, they’ll likely remedy the situation by something to work on.

This might be a project or a new hobby.

Genuinely happy people tend to avoid long periods of listlessness and lethargy.

Even if something isn’t exactly to their liking (maybe they really don’t like the oysters you encouraged them to try, or they look a little green in the gills after skydiving), it’s very unlikely that they’ll express that hate vocally.

Life comes with plentiful new experiences and even those that happy people don’t fully enjoy will still be met with interest and curiosity.

6) “I’m fine…”

Part of being genuinely happy means caring deeply for the feelings of others and protecting them where possible.

But doing this at expense to yourself is highly counterproductive.

Whilst many people harboring sadness or grudges will respond with a grumbly “I’m fine”, genuinely happy avoid letting their discontentment get swept under the carpet.

That’s not to say that they enter into conversations with fists swinging.

Instead, they’re skilled at knowing how and when to bring up certain topics to better resolve conflict in ways that satisfy everyone involved.

7) “You’re right”

Don’t get it twisted – happy and authentic individuals will tell you when you are in fact right.

Say you’re mid arguing about whether baby hedgehogs are called pups and your friend tells you (quite rightly) that they are in fact called hoglets. 

Being able to admit that you’re wrong is obviously the best option.

But say someone begins undermining you and trivializing a belief or opinion you hold very dear.

Genuinely happy people tend to be confident in their values and ideas and able to stand up and protect them.

Never will they instantly submit and tell the other person that they’re 100%, no-doubt-about-it correct.

Rather than immediately yielding and trying to run from any conflict, happy people will stick quietly yet astutely by what they believe in.

Deferring to any contradictory opinions just to avoid conflict, particularly when focusing on an issue you care, deeply about leads only to unhappiness.

8) “I hate myself”

We all go through periods of not loving ourselves quite as much as we might like.

I personally find that my mood slumps in the winter months owing to seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

But other changes such as a few criticisms at work, feeling like your clothes are getting a little tighter, or feeling left out of social situations can all leave you feeling miserable.

What happy people will avoid is looking themselves straight in the eyes (probably in a mirror) and telling the person staring back that they hate themselves.

Self-love is difficult to achieve. It takes a huge amount of reflection and acceptance.

For many, self-acceptance is a great starting point.

And to get there, genuinely happy people know that criticizing the person in the mirror will never help.

They (you?) are human. They have bad days. They have flaws.

Whilst even the happiest of souls will go through periods of self-doubt, you won’t catch them vocalizing this self-criticism.

In fact, they’re probably big fans of self-affirmations and are more likely to whisper things like “I am worthy” and “I am proud of myself”.

You’ll encounter plenty of other haters out there in the world so why add another one to the list?

Conclusion 

As we are taught to internalize our emotions, it’s often difficult to assess whether or not someone is actually happy. 

Many people put on a brave face whilst struggling with depression and other mental health disorders, with over 48,000 deaths by suicide in 2021.

The statistics are disheartening, particularly when mental health is an issue which remains a taboo topic which many feel uncomfortable discussing.

I’m not saying that you should start saying these happy statements to be happy.

In fact, if you think you could be struggling from mental health issues, please consider reaching out to a support network.

However, if you’re simply trying to brighten your days and bring more positivity to the world around you, consider what you’re saying.

Even if thoughts of doubt bubble up, try and put a stop to them before they reach your lips.

Remind yourself that you’re more than capable and that even if you do sometimes doubt yourself, you can.