11 traits of people who are exceptional at reading others

Have you ever met someone who seemed to know a lot about you almost immediately?

The thing is, some people are freakishly good at reading others. So good, in fact, that it can almost seem like they have psychic abilities.

But that’s not the case. It’s just that they have an exceptional ability to read other people.

In many ways, this may be something they are born with. However, it is also a skill that you can develop through time and practice.

And there are some traits that are often found in people who are great at reading others that can tip you off that you’re dealing with an unusually perceptive person.

1) They are empathetic

Probably the most important trait of someone who is good at reading other people is empathy.

According to author and psychology educator Kendra Cherry, empathy is the ability to “emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place.”

Virtually all humans are capable of this, outside of some mental disorders like psychopathy. But not everyone has the same level of empathy.

Highly empathetic people are great at imagining themselves in another person’s shoes. Signs of an empathetic person include:

• Generosity
• Always thinking of others
• Absorbing the emotions of others they are in close contact with
• Being deeply moved by art
• Giving good advice
• Becoming overwhelmed in crowded places with lots of noise

If you know someone with these traits, they are certainly highly empathetic. And being able to understand other people’s emotions is key to being able to predict how they will act.

2) They have high emotional intelligence

There’s more to being intelligent than just your IQ. There’s also EQ or EI, a metric that is used to describe emotional intelligence.

To put it simply, being emotionally intelligent means being aware of your own emotional traits and responses. Emotionally intelligent people analyze their own emotions to better understand themselves.

By doing that, they also learn to understand other people better.

After all, while we are all unique individuals, as humans, we have a similar emotional life. Understanding your own emotions helps you understand other people’s thought processes and allows you to read them more easily.

3) They’re patient

Patience may be one of the most underrated traits that allow someone to read others exceptionally well.

Think about it.

Being patient allows someone to take the time to understand another person’s motivations, emotions, and actions.

Instead of jumping to conclusions, patient people make the effort to understand others, making them great at reading people.

4) They are a good listener

This is another key to understanding others.

People will tell you who they are, both in the things they say and in the things they don’t say.

Being a good listener allows you to hear behind the mask we all wear and see the real person underneath.

Being a good listener means:

• Paying attention and making eye contact with the person you are listening to;
• Observing body language and other nonverbal communication;
• Not judging or jumping to conclusions;
• Actively listening instead of just waiting for your chance to speak;
• Asking relevant questions based on what the other person tells you.

People who listen this way learn far more about the people they are talking to than those who are just waiting for their own chance to talk.

5) They listen more than they speak

This is one situation where introverts may have an advantage over extroverts.

It’s not that people who are great at reading people are necessarily especially quiet. On the other hand, they are rarely loud, either.

Getting to understand people and read them well means getting to know them. And you can’t do that if you’re always talking and trying to be the center of attention.

6) They are open-minded

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. And accepting that is another key to getting good at reading others.

You see, if you’re always judging people, you never really get past the surface. You look for what confirms your existing beliefs and don’t take the time to get to know the inner lives of others.

On the other hand, if you keep an open mind, people can always surprise you.

And the more often you get surprised as you get to know people better, the better you will come to understand people in general.

7) They are highly self-aware

As you can probably see if you read this far, understanding a broad range of people is part of what allows some people to read others very easily.

But ultimately, the best person to study if you want to understand human psychology is yourself.

Psychologists and authors Shelley Duvall and Robert Wicklund define self-awareness as “the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards.”

They go on to say that self-awareness helps you to understand how others perceive you. But it can also help you understand other people.

Knowing how your own conscious and subconscious motivations and desires affect your thought processes and actions can be hugely helpful in interpreting the actions of others.

So if you know someone who seems to understand themselves on a very deep level, there’s a good chance they understand others very well, too.

8) They are observant

You can learn a lot about people by simply observing.

That’s why people with an extraordinary ability to read others pay attention to everything around them.

If you know how to look, people tell you a lot about themselves without meaning to. It’s in the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they stand, the way they enter and exit the room.

Being highly observant can help you get a better handle on what people are really like, and it can let you read others so well it can start to seem like a superpower.

9) They are curious

Of course, being able to read people requires wanting to do so in the first place.

A common trait of people with a good understanding of others is that they are curious. They want to know what makes other people take, and that helps them learn more about others and read them easily.

It also makes them very good listeners.

Curiosity is what motivates people to try to understand those around them. And that curiosity will keep a person learning more and more about people until they become very good at reading them.

10) They are humble

Reading people can be a very valuable skill. So you might think that those who have mastered it can become arrogant.

However, the opposite is more likely to be the case.

That’s because when you understand others very well, flaws and weaknesses. And because people who are good at reading others are generally very self-aware, they are well aware that they often have the same flaws as the people they are reading.

This makes people very humble, since they understand that deep down, we are all the same, and none of us are perfect.

11) They are imaginative

Putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes requires a leap of the imagination. So people who are good at reading others are often highly imaginative and creative in other fields, too.

Often, people with a gift for reading others are artists, writers, or display other creative abilities. Their ability to imagine what it’s like to be someone else is a major part of what makes them so capable of understanding other people.

Traits of intuitive people

Being able to read others could make a person dangerous to be around. 

But far more often, it makes the people who can do it some of the nicest and most empathetic people you’ll ever meet.

Being able to read others comes from a deep understanding of them, which itself comes from a curiosity about others.

So if you know anybody who shows the traits on this list – including yourself – it’s likely that they have a better-than-average ability to read the people around them.