7 unique struggles empaths deal with on a daily basis

Are you an empath, or do you suspect that you are? Do you find yourself feeling and even knowing things that other people don’t?

If so you may well be an empath, which means you’re sensitive and tuned in to how other people feel.

However, that special ability doesn’t come without its share of struggles.  

Here are some of the daily issues that empaths face, and what to do about it!

1) They feel others’ pain

Empaths can feel all sorts of emotions from other people, but pain and distress often come through the most strongly. Other emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness and moodiness also reach the empath. 

Perhaps you walk into a room and your mood instantly dampens. The person in the corner isn’t saying anything but you know that something is wrong. 

Although being an empath is a great skill for helping people, it can also be a difficult burden to carry. Because being an empath often leads to:

2) Not knowing where you end and others begin

Empaths often don’t know if the emotion they are feeling is coming from them or someone else. Many, if not all of us, wake up feeling down some days, or in a bad mood. And it isn’t always obvious why. 

‘Regular’ people can shake this off as just ‘one of those things’, but empaths can’t be sure if the emotion belongs to them or someone else.

As a tarot card reader for over 20 years, I first learned this lesson the hard way. I connected to, and read for, my friend who was splitting up with her boyfriend. It wasn’t a long relationship (we were teenagers!) but as with everything at that age, the emotions were intense.

I connected to her and her issues and felt very sad, especially as the cards told me that yes, it was likely he was going to break up with her.

As the day progressed, I felt weighted down by a deep sense of sadness. Now don’t get me wrong, I felt compassion for my friend. But this level of emotion was as if I were the one going through the breakup.

When I realized this, I was able to take some protective steps that I’ll elaborate on later in this article.

3) They find it hard to be in large crowds

Imagine you feel the pain and even the joys of other people. For some empaths, it tends to be restricted to people that they know reasonably well or at least have some kind of connection with.

But for others, they can find themselves tuning in to people from all around. So going to a large music concert, or even a big train station, or any place with crowds, can be very challenging.

It can feel like an onslaught of different feelings, emotions and moods – which quickly gets overwhelming!

4) They know too much about other people

I have a friend called Elena who is an empath, and as with many empaths, she has psychic traits. Even though she has never tried to develop them.

She often finds that she will meet a person and just know certain things about them, their story, and what is bothering them.

This makes her feel uncomfortable, as if she is prying. And sometimes she has the sense that they subconsciously know it too.

Her strategy to deal with this, as a very friendly woman, is to start talking to the person – even if they are a stranger. They soon feel compelled to tell her about their story, and once it is out in the open, everybody feels more relaxed.

Still, that’s not an easy thing to live with and takes a lot of time and energy!

5) They find it difficult to watch the news and consume social media

Empaths don’t always have to be in the presence of others to feel the emotions of others. In fact, for many empaths, simply seeing a clip of suffering on the news is enough to trigger a connection to that person, and what they are going through.

Today we have more exposure than ever to the sorrows and tragedies of the world through social media. And this is hard to avoid unless you are very strict with what you do with your devices.

Personally, I stopped watching the news a long time ago, and I try to limit my social media use.

But this can lead to another problem which is that:

6) People can accuse them of being heartless

Like me, many empaths deal with their ‘superpower’ by limiting what they see and get exposure to.

However, many people feel that there is a moral imperative to keep up with what is going on in the world, and to stay connected to the suffering of others. For instance, now we have the atrocities of the conflict between Israel and Palestine.

(And just to make it even harder for the empaths, we have the conflict between those who support one side over another. And the infighting that occurs because of this).

Some people can view my choice to restrict what I learn and see as heartless, and that I am losing my humanity.

For me, it’s not about blocking myself off totally from the world and becoming ignorant, but it is about finding balance. And those who are not empaths might not understand just how affected empaths can be.

7) They get told that they ‘feel too much’

The bitter irony for empaths is that the other side of the coin is they are often told that they feel too much. That they should just deal with it and get over it.

There’s a meme that a fellow empath shared with me that has someone being told that they ‘feel too much’ on one side, and the empath biting their hand saying ‘me repressing 99% of my feelings’.

If you can relate to this, then there’s a good chance that you are an empath.

So you’re an empath. What can you do?

If much of this resonates with you then I do have some tips for you.

Ultimately, you have to find the balance between keeping their humanity and staying sane. My friend and I were debating this, especially in relation to the current conflict, and I sent her this hauntingly beautiful quote that I read by @bestinsio on Instagram:

“subway rat made eye contact with me and said ‘join us. when the train comes we slide under the tracks and feel it rumble over us like a warm thunderstorm. we live forever and we love to live’ I said ‘no thankyou I am too large’ he turned away from me I cried”

For me this symbolizes the fact that it is theoretically possible to surround ourselves in a bubble, like the subway rat. But we may be unable to, as our lives as a human in the world do not permit it, or perhaps because we don’t feel that it is ethical.

My friend and I discussed the issue more and then she sent this in a return, a quote which echoes the sentiment but in a more positive way.

“A man stood outside the white house with a single protest candle every night during the Vietnam War. A reporter came to him one night and said: ‘Sir. Do you really believe your little protest will change anything?’

And he said:

‘Oh, I don’t come here to change them. I come here so they don’t change me.

I will not allow the steady maddening onslaught of insanity to wear down my humanity. I will keep knowing and telling the truth. I will do my small part – every damn day – to stay human, to stay away and tender – so the world does not wear away my humanity.”

This quote has been retold many times with different wordings, but relates to A.J. Muste, a lifelong pacifist.

There is no right or wrong way for anyone, empaths particularly, to decide how to hold the various feelings that they receive from others. A balance is needed – but only the individual can know what their balance is.

And there’s more.

As well as approaching this from a philosophical angle, we can also learn the techniques that I had to discover as an empathic tarot reader.

Just as it is possible to intentionally connect to another, it is possible to intentionally disconnect. So after I read for someone, I do a cleansing ritual.

Mine involves allowing my chakras to fold up inside themselves like flowers. And sometimes I may touch the ground or walk barefoot to ground myself (and science backs this up).

Or I may do a grounding meditation, as though I am a tree with roots that go deep into the earth.

Another thing you can do is to imagine a warm glowing light in your heart that expands out of you until it surrounds you. Imagine this light as a protective bubble. Not an impermeable one, since that may mean the loss of feelings and humanity, but one that knows exactly how much to let in, and how much to keep out.

I hope that helps! And if you are an empath who is struggling, my heart goes out to you. But I will also maintain my psychic and well-being defenses so that I can stay healthy, happy, and able to help others (and myself!) as needed. I hope you can do the same.