10 unspoken rules every successful relationship follows

Relationships aren’t easy, and anyone who says otherwise probably hasn’t been in one for very long. 

I’ve spent a good part of my life trying to figure out what makes some relationships thrive while others fizzle out. 

And you know what? 

A lot of it comes down to following a set of unspoken rules. 

These aren’t big, dramatic gestures but small, everyday actions and attitudes that make a huge difference in the long run. 

In this article, I’m going to share with you the 10 unspoken rules that every successful relationship follows, drawn from real-life observations and experiences. 

So, whether you’re just starting out with someone new or have been with your partner for years, these insights could help steer your relationship in the right direction.

1) Prioritize emotional safety

One of the things I’ve noticed stands out with couples who’ve been together for years is they make each other feel emotionally safe. 

Does that mean they avoid major fights? 

No – they don’t avoid conflict, it just means they create an environment where both partners feel comfortable sharing their feelings, fears, and dreams. 

In other words, it’s about showing vulnerability without fearing judgment. 

As a result, this safety net strengthens the bond over time and deepens trust.

2) Understand before being understood

It’s easy to want to get our point across, especially in the heat of a disagreement. But the couples that truly last take a step back to understand their partner’s perspective first. 

They listen, they empathize, and then they express. 

Truth be told, this simple switch can transform conflicts into conversations and misunderstandings into clarity.

3) Keep the small acts of love alive

I’ve always been a believer that it’s the small things that matter the most. 

That unexpected fresh orange juice in bed, the random hugs, or even just taking out the trash without being asked. 

Successful couples don’t wait for anniversaries to express their love. They tend to find any excuse to celebrate a day together.

They find joy in daily, simple acts that remind their partner, “I’m thinking of you.”

4) Make time, don’t find time

In the hustle of life, often you might find yourself saying things like “We’ll find time for each other.” 

But the truth is, time isn’t found; it’s made. 

The couples that truly thrive make it a point to carve out moments for each other, be it a weekly date night or just an hour of uninterrupted conversation. 

The key is about prioritizing the relationship amidst life’s chaos.

5) Respect individuality

Have you met someone who fell in love and almost merged into a single entity with that person? 

This neglect of oneself individuality might come as respectful to your partner but it certainly isn’t to yourself. 

So, here is the thing: It’s about two distinct individuals choosing to journey together and their successful relationship is a sign that they honor this individuality. 

They give each other space to grow, have separate hobbies, and even spend time apart. 

After all, this respect for individual space and interests adds a rich dimension to their shared life.

6) Acceptance of change

It’s a natural instinct to want to change things we don’t like, and this can extend to our partner’s habits or quirks. 

I can admit I’ve been guilty of this, so if you have too, don’t beat yourself too much. It’s never too late to make some changes, but on yourself, not your other half. 

Over time, I’ve learned that the most harmonious relationships are built on acceptance. 

Individuals in these types of relationships understand that it’s these unique attributes that make their partner who they are.

So, instead of trying to change their partner, successful couples embrace each other, flaws and all. 

7) Open communication, always

There’s a reason why communication is always touted as the cornerstone of a good relationship. 

Communication it’s not just about talking; it’s about the quality of these conversations. 

Successful couples ensure they check in with each other regularly, discuss their feelings, and address concerns before they become bigger issues. 

In other words, they create a safe space where both can speak freely without fear.

8) Share responsibilities

Gone are the days when roles in a relationship were rigidly defined. 

The couples that truly thrive share responsibilities, be it household chores, finances, or raising kids. 

By working as a team, they strengthen their bond and ensure that no partner feels burdened or undervalued.

For instance, in my household, my wife takes care of the cleaning duties and I do the cooking. From my experience, sharing responsibilities has definitely improved the quality of our relationship.

9) Laugh together

Life isn’t always smiles and laughter. 

There are challenges, ups and downs, stressful times, and moments of doubt. But through it all, the couples that last find reasons to laugh together. 

They don’t take themselves too seriously and know that shared laughter can be a potent remedy to life’s challenges.

10) Keep exploring and growing together

Finally, stagnation can be a relationship’s worst enemy. Successful couples are always on the lookout for new experiences and learnings. 

Be it taking up a hobby together, traveling to a new place, or simply re-doing the bathroom – they seek ways to grow collectively, ensuring their relationship remains fresh and dynamic.

Now that we know those rules, let me provide you with a few hints on how to cultivate them before we wrap up.

How to cultivate and build over those unspoken rules

Successfully incorporating these unspoken rules into your relationship requires dedication and a touch of strategy. Here’s how you can refine and build upon these foundations:

• Ensure your partner always feels heard by minimizing distractions and genuinely focusing on their words.
• Dedicate a few minutes each day to connect and share, promoting a steady stream of communication.
• Divide responsibilities based on each person’s strengths, ensuring tasks are done efficiently.
• Incorporate laughter into your daily routine. A shared joke can be the best bridge over troubled waters.
• Create shared memories by planning regular activities or outings you both enjoy.
• Celebrate both the big and small wins in each other’s lives, fostering mutual respect.
• Regularly check in with your partner about any behaviors or habits, keeping the dialogue open and constructive.

Remember, while love is foundational, continuously nurturing and building upon these rules can transform your relationship into something even more special and enduring.

Conclusion

While love stories might differ, the underlying principles often remain the same. 

It’s these unspoken rules, these subtle habits and practices, that form the bedrock of a lasting relationship. 

So, whether you’re just starting out or years into a relationship, reflecting on these can offer a fresh perspective and a path to deepening your bond. 

Remember, in the world of relationships, it’s often the unsaid that holds the most power.