11 unusual habits that indicate high emotional intelligence

Ever meet someone who just seems to get people?

They stay cool in tough situations and understand what others are feeling.

That’s high emotional intelligence.

It’s not about being good in school or knowing how to handle yourself on the street.

It’s a special kind of smart – understanding and dealing with your emotions and other people’s feelings.

People with high emotional intelligence often do things a bit differently.

These habits show how well they deal with emotions.

So, if you’re curious about whether you or a friend might have high emotional intelligence, keep reading. 

We’re going to look at ten unusual habits that could be a clue.

These aren’t everyday habits like biting your nails or twirling your hair.

These are habits that show an understanding of emotions and empathy.

1. They’re Great Listeners

People with high emotional intelligence have a knack for really listening.

I mean, they’re not just waiting for their turn to talk.

They genuinely want to understand what the other person is saying.

Even if they don’t agree with it, they’ll listen without interrupting or trying to instantly correct the person.

They know that everyone has their own views and experiences that shape their thoughts and actions.

By really listening, they can better understand where the person is coming from.

This shows great empathy, a key part of emotional intelligence.

So, if you notice someone who is a great listener, they may have high emotional intelligence.

2. They’re Open About Their Feelings

People with high emotional intelligence aren’t afraid to talk about their feelings.

They understand that being open about how they feel doesn’t make them weak – it makes them human.

They’re comfortable expressing their emotions in a healthy way, and they’re good at putting what they’re feeling into words.

This ability to communicate their feelings helps them build strong relationships with others.

If you know someone who talks openly about their feelings without overdoing it, they might have high emotional intelligence.

3. They Know When to Say No

One of the unusual habits I’ve noticed in people with high emotional intelligence is their ability to say no.

I remember a friend of mine, let’s call her Jane, who was always very good at this.

She’d always have a ton of things on her plate, but she never seemed overwhelmed.

One day I asked her, “Jane, how do you manage it all without losing your mind?”

She looked at me and said, “I simply say no when I need to.”

She explained that knowing her limits and respecting them was crucial for her mental health.

If she felt like she had too much going on, she would politely decline additional tasks or responsibilities.

This wasn’t about being lazy or avoiding work; it was about self-care and managing her energy levels.

I learnt from Jane that saying no isn’t a bad thing.

It’s about understanding your capacity and making sure you don’t overexert yourself.

So if you, like Jane, are comfortable saying no when necessary, you might just have high emotional intelligence!

4. They Embrace Change

People with high emotional intelligence often have a more positive attitude towards change.

Instead of resisting, they see change as an opportunity for growth and learning.

They understand that change is a constant part of life, and adapting to it is healthier than resisting it.

So if you’re the kind of person who can roll with the punches and adapt to change, you might be showcasing a sign of high emotional intelligence.

5. They Show Genuine Appreciation

People with high emotional intelligence have a unique ability to show heartfelt appreciation.

They not only recognize the good in others but also make sure to express their gratitude sincerely.

For instance, consider a teacher who takes the time to acknowledge each student’s effort, not just the top performers.

They might leave a thoughtful note on a student’s assignment, saying, “I can see how hard you’ve worked on this. Your improvement is impressive!”

This isn’t empty flattery; it’s genuine recognition of effort and progress.

This habit goes beyond mere politeness.

It’s about acknowledging the value each person brings and making them feel seen and appreciated.

It’s a simple act, but it can have a profound impact on others.

So, if you make it a point to show genuine appreciation to people around you, you’re likely demonstrating high emotional intelligence.

6. They’re Curious About Other People

One habit I’ve noticed in people with high emotional intelligence, including myself, is a genuine curiosity about others.

We’re not talking about being nosy or intrusive; it’s more about having an interest in understanding people on a deeper level.

For example, I have a neighbor, an elderly gentleman with stories that could fill books.

Most people in our neighborhood hardly interact with him.

One day, I decided to strike up a conversation and found out he was a war veteran with incredible tales of courage and resilience.

I’ve always been drawn to learning about different perspectives and experiences.

It’s this curiosity that helps me connect with others on a more meaningful level.

Understanding someone else’s journey fosters empathy, which is a core component of emotional intelligence.

So if you find yourself genuinely interested in others, you might just have high emotional intelligence. 

7. They’re Not Afraid to Show Vulnerability

People with high emotional intelligence aren’t always the “strong, silent” types.

In fact, they often show their vulnerability.

They understand that it’s okay to not have it all together all the time.

They’re not afraid to admit when they’re scared, confused, or hurting.

They don’t see vulnerability as a weakness but as a strength.

It takes courage to open up and let others see your struggles and insecurities.

People with high emotional intelligence know this.

They’re brave enough to show their vulnerability and honest enough to admit they don’t have all the answers.

So if you’re someone who can say, “I’m not okay,” when you’re really not, you may have high emotional intelligence.

8. They Learn from Criticism

People with high emotional intelligence see criticism as a chance to learn and improve.

They don’t take it personally or react defensively.

Instead, they listen, process the information, and see what they can take from it to improve.

People with high emotional intelligence are more open to feedback and use it more effectively to improve their performance.

This is because they’re better able to manage the initial emotional reaction and focus on the constructive elements of the criticism.

So, if you can take criticism on the chin and use it as a stepping stone for self-improvement, you’re probably demonstrating high emotional intelligence. 

9. They Don’t Hold Grudges

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick – it’s harmful to you and does little to the other person.

This is something I’ve learned over the years, especially as someone who strives to maintain high emotional intelligence.

I remember a time when a close friend betrayed my trust. I was hurt and angry, and for a while, I held on to that resentment.

But then I realized that holding a grudge wasn’t helping me; it was only causing me more pain.

So, I made the decision to let go of the anger and forgive. It didn’t mean that what my friend did was okay, but it allowed me to move on.

People with high emotional intelligence understand this concept well.

They know that holding onto resentment only hurts them in the long run.

So, if you’re someone who is able to let go of grudges and move forward, you might just be demonstrating high emotional intelligence. 

10. They Know They’re Not Perfect

People with high emotional intelligence don’t pretend to be perfect, because they know nobody is.

They understand that they make mistakes, have weaknesses, and sometimes let their emotions get the best of them.

And that’s okay.

They see these as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as failures.

They’re not afraid to say, “I messed up,” because they know that admitting a mistake is the first step to correcting it.

If you can look at yourself in the mirror, acknowledge your flaws without beating yourself up, and then work on improving, you’re showing a sign of high emotional intelligence.

11. They Don’t Avoid Difficult Conversations

One of the hardest truths about having high emotional intelligence is that you can’t run from difficult conversations.

Whether it’s addressing a conflict or having a heart-to-heart about feelings, people with high emotional intelligence don’t shy away.

These conversations might be uncomfortable, but they know it’s necessary for a healthy relationship – be it personal or professional.

It’s about respect – for themselves and for others.

So if you’re someone who doesn’t back down from hard talks, even when you’d rather run a mile, you’re likely demonstrating high emotional intelligence.