13 warning signs your relationship is destroying your self-esteem
A good relationship is supposed to make you feel great.
It’s meant to make you feel loved and cared for. It’s supposed to make you feel special and like you can do anything you set your mind to.
Do you know what it’s not supposed to do? Mess with your self-esteem!
That’s right!
If the person you’re dating is making you doubt yourself and feel bad about any aspect of yourself, it’s not a healthy relationship, it’s toxic!
Let’s not waste any more time and jump right into 13 warning signs your relationship is destroying your self-esteem:
1) They’re constantly criticizing you
- “Oh, is that what you’re wearing tonight?”
- “You overcooked the steak again. How hard is it to remember that it’s a minute steak!”
- “Babe, you may wanna cut down on the chocolate, you’re getting kinda fat around the waist.”
You get the gist…
If your partner constantly criticizes everything from your fashion sense to your cooking skills to your weight gain, no matter how strong you are, it’s bound to leave you questioning your worth and little by little, destroy your confidence.
2) They talk down to you
Ever feel like your partner talks to you the way they would a child? As if you’re not clever or quick enough to comprehend what they’re saying?
Well, I have news for you!
They obviously have some kind of superiority complex that makes them feel better than you (which they’re not!).
And here’s the thing, when someone close to you, someone you love and respect talks down to you and makes you feel small, slowly but surely they’ll chip away at your self-esteem.
3) They belittle you in front of others
As if it’s not bad that they talk down to you in private, they also do it in public!
When you’re with a group of people and want to say something, they’ll talk over you or say something like, “Don’t be silly.” and then they’ll have a chuckle at your expense.
I’ve seen this happen more than once and while the person who was being belittled tried to brush it off, I could tell how cra**y they felt and the rest of us felt super uncomfortable.
In short, if they dismiss your opinion and put you down in front of others, it’s definitely gonna affect your self-esteem – and not in a good way.
4) They don’t support you
When you care about someone, you want what’s best for them, right?
You want them to succeed.
You want them to be happy.
That means being supportive of them. It means cheering them on as they run a marathon or work on a presentation for their boss or even learn a new skill that may seem totally random.
You know what it doesn’t mean?
Failing to acknowledge the hard work they’re putting into something or crushing their dreams by telling them that what they’re trying to do is, “Stupid and a waste of time”.
When someone whose opinion matters does that to you, it’s enough to make you doubt your capabilities and give up on what you’re trying to do.
5) They don’t trust you
Look, it’s tough to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust you.
Maybe they’ve been hurt too many times, maybe there have been too many past betrayals.
Whatever the reason for your partner’s lack of trust, it’s bound to affect the relationship as well as your self-esteem.
I mean, how can you feel good about yourself when the person you’re in a relationship with, the person you’re closest to, has a lack of faith in your character and integrity?
6) They’re manipulative
I’m talking about stuff like guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, and gaslighting. Anything they do to make you doubt your own judgment and self-worth.
And why do they do it?
To get what they want of course.
And the result?
Loss of will. Loss of control. Loss of self-esteem.
7) They’re verbally abusive
I know from personal experience how an argument with someone who is verbally abusive can leave you feeling fragile and vulnerable.
Any form of verbal abuse, such as yelling, name-calling, or using hurtful language, can significantly damage your self-esteem.
It can leave you feeling ashamed and asking yourself what you did to deserve such treatment. It can also make you feel worthless and unloved.
Now it’s one thing if someone says something in the heat of the moment, but it’s quite another if the abuse is something that happens frequently.
No form of abuse, whether it be verbal, physical, or other is ever acceptable.
Let your partner know that you will not stand for such behavior.
My advice: Unless they change and show you the respect you deserve, you should get out of the relationship.
8) They neglect your emotions
Ever feel like the person you’re dating doesn’t see you?
It’s like they have no idea what you need or how you feel – they just can’t read the room.
Or maybe they’re just so self-involved that they consistently ignore your emotional needs, dismiss your feelings, and refuse to communicate openly.
Obviously, it’s no surprise that such behavior makes you feel unimportant and unloved.
In short, when the person you love neglects your emotions, it definitely messes with your self-esteem.
9) They’re controlling
Here’s the thing:
When you’re going out with someone who tells you what you can and can’t do, watches your every move, and constantly questions your actions, it can make you feel like you have no free will.
You’ll feel powerless.
And when you lose autonomy, you’ll probably also lose your self-respect, faith in yourself, and yup, you guessed it, your self-esteem.
10) They’re constantly comparing you to others
I really hate it when people compare me to others, especially if it’s in a bad way.
I mean, what is the point other than to make me feel bad about myself?
So, if the person you’re dating keeps comparing you unfavorably to others (especially their exes), chances are it will lead to feelings of inadequacy.
They could say stuff like, “Jane always made sure her nails were done.” or “John has a Ph.D. and you never even finished college.”
The bottom line: Whether it’s about your appearance, achievements, or behavior, negative comparisons will chip away at your self-esteem until it’s gone.
11) They never praise or compliment you
When was the last time your partner told you that you looked good?
When’s the last time they told you “Well done” when you pulled off something amazing?
If you’re dating someone who never praises you, who never tells you how amazing you are, chances are you’ll start to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?”
I mean, you can spend hours getting ready and look like you’re going to the Oscars and they won’t say a word.
Trust me, that kind of relationship – where you aren’t seen – will destroy your confidence.
12) They suck the energy right out of you
A relationship is supposed to make you feel great and energized.
So, if the person you’re dating leaves you feeling drained, you’ve got to ask yourself why you’re still with them.
I mean, it’s like they’re energy vampires.
The truth is that if your relationship leaves you emotionally drained, anxious, or even, it’s another sign that it’s taking a toll on your self-esteem.
13) They make you feel unworthy of their love
When someone loves you, they’ll want you to know it.
They’ll do everything in their power to make you feel special, appreciated, and adored.
That means that if you constantly feel like you have to prove your worth to your partner or that you’re not good enough for them, something’s not right.
If they’re making you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved by them it can harm your self-esteem.
But listen up, it actually means they don’t deserve you. Nobody who makes you feel unworthy is worth your time, got it?
And if you notice any of these 13 signs, don’t ignore them. You should be with someone who builds you up, not knocks you down. Got it?