9 warning signs you’re letting negativity control your life

Negativity is a disease. And like any illness, if you don’t treat it, it will get progressively worse. 

Many negative people aren’t even aware they’re negative. Denial is powerful. You may be the human version of the Grinch without even knowing it. 

I’ll tell you from experience, a negative outlook isn’t sustainable. For the sake of your relationships and overall health, getting out of this funk is crucial. 

And the first step to recovery is acknowledging the warning signs. 

This is where I come in. In this article, I’ll take you through the worrying signs that you’re allowing pessimism to overwhelm your life. 

When you have a clear idea of things, you can start making the necessary adjustments and eventually reclaim your best self.

Let’s dive in!

1) You’re constantly feeling down

Being a cynic is all fun and games until it begins to affect your day-to-day life. 

If you often feel low energy, drained, and glum, this is a pretty strong indicator that negativity has seeped into your general disposition. 

This can also manifest as persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, worthlessness, and anger. 

Getting in touch with your emotions, good and bad, is critical but when it takes control of your life and affects your mood, something’s gotta go. 

Perhaps you should put down the Catcher in the Rye and exchange the Rage Against the Machine playlist for something more positive every now and then. 

It’s precisely the fact that life is deeply flawed that we need to be motivated to stay positive and counteract the rigors of life.

Hang in there. 

2) You’re overly critical of yourself

Hey, I’ll be honest with you: you need to cut yourself some slack every now and then. 

Realize that mistakes and shortcomings are a perfectly natural and healthy part of your journey. 

If you’re constantly hard on yourself, second-guessing your value and abilities, this indicates a defeatist mentality. 

Instead of grabbing life by the balls, you’re effectively waving the white flag, resigned to your limitations. 

Shift that energy to cultivating a growth mentality, so that whenever you encounter the inevitable obstacle or setback in life, you use it to learn and grow rather than wallow in self-criticism. 

Doubting yourself is one thing, but when negativity has taken hold of you, you’re hard on others too. 

This leads me to my next point… 

3) You enjoy putting others down

Here’s the thing: you’re not in high school anymore. Regularly putting down others just isn’t cool, no matter how you slice it. 

If you do frequently criticize others, it’s a sign that you’re allowing negativity to take control; it’s also a sign that you’re likely pretty insecure. 

This is not the vibe you want to give off. The person who has their shit together emotionally values tolerance and understanding.

Instead of poking fun or belittling others, they’d rather see the inherent good in everyone. 

When I was younger, my friends and I would bond over putting other people down. 

Sure, we’d get a fleeting laugh over our shared disdain for people; but looking back, I never walked out of our get-togethers feeling particularly happy, though I didn’t realize it at the time. 

I guess I knew deep down that putting other people down and pointing out shortcomings as a means of making me feel better about myself was an empty, and frankly, sad, practice. 

I’ve made a concerted effort to break that habit over time. 

4) You’ve lost interest in activities you once enjoyed

Real talk: life isn’t always easy. In fact, at times, it can be pretty hard.  

If you feel so jaded or numb to existing that you no longer feel motivated to participate in activities you used to enjoy, there’s something wrong. 

At this point, it’s worth digging a little deeper. Maybe you should consider consulting a professional about it. 

This isn’t merely a clear sign that negativity has taken hold of your life, it’s also indicative of depression. 

So if this pattern sounds uncomfortably familiar, it’s time you do something proactive about it. 

5) You prefer being isolated

I get it–solitude is healthy, a necessary time to be introspective, engage in self-care and recharge those batteries. 

But for many, prolonged isolation can be damaging. 

If you find yourself actively avoiding people and social interactions, opting to spend time on your own, this could possibly mean that your negativity is skewing your perspective of society.

Maybe you think socializing is dumb, and the thought of tediously being around people makes you roll your eyes. Fair enough. 

But be practical. Know the potential consequences of long periods of isolation. Make it a point to get out there from time to time and reach out to friends or family. 

6) You have difficulty maintaining relationships 

Here’s a no-brainer: negative thinking can strain your relationships. 

At the end of the day, most people don’t want to surround themselves with gloomy energy–it’s unnecessary and honestly, a little juvenile. 

If you find yourself having trouble getting along with people, keeping relationships, or constantly engaging in conflicts, this is likely due to your contentious disposition. You don’t want to deal with others, and well, the feeling is mutual. 

I have a close relative based in London. She comes home annually, typically for Christmas. 

She is also incredibly critical of the rest of the family and is vocal about it. She’ll lecture us on how to live properly as if her ways are vastly superior. 

She’s an inherent contrarian. Her combative, holier-than-thou approach to dealing with the family has resulted in some strained and distant relationships. 

Her own siblings have difficulty getting along with her because of her outspoken negativity. 

It’s sad that the limited time we have together is riddled with constant conflict and arguments.   

7) You have sleep problems

For most of my life, I’ve had sleeping problems.

I’m also an overthinker, which in the evenings means negative ruminations. 

I’ll be up tossing and turning, replaying some trivial argument I had three years ago, or how I have the symptoms of some terminal illness, or constantly fabricating unsettling ‘what-if’ scenarios in my head. 

Basically, when you dwell on negative thoughts, you’re more likely to have sleep problems. 

The disturbing nature of these thoughts will naturally keep you up, disrupting your circadian rhythm. 

So to counter that, start having a bedtime routine, one filled with positive stimuli and happy things. 

Also, leave the true crime for the daylight hours because however intriguing Jeffrey Dahmer’s story is, it’s not exactly a breeding ground for rainbows and sunshine.

8) You have one too many migraines

When negativity and stress become your default in life, you’re more at risk to develop health issues, both big and small. 

This can range from things like frequent headaches to digestion issues to chronic pain to even a weakened immune system. 

The pandemic took its toll on me financially. Without going into too much detail, I was regularly stressed and on edge. I’d often appear snappy and unhinged to people around me. 

Just as notable though, I was getting some variation of the flu on an almost monthly basis. 

This was alarming as my immune system has always been strong. 

So I saw my doctor, and he concluded that my resistance was down due to stress.

After this revelation, I responded by actively managing my stress and anxiety levels, mindfully avoiding fits of anger or panic, and finding outlets like exercise. 

Magically, I stopped getting sick shortly after. 

9) You experience frequent feelings of jealousy

Let me ask you this: do you get preoccupied by what others are doing, do you tend to compare your situation with theirs? 

You’re not alone–particularly these days, in a social media-obsessed world. 

The positive person is content with their situation, not constantly in search of greener pastures. 

Negative people tend to feel jealous of others. Instead of being joyful and at peace with themselves, they want more, they want what others have. 

This leads to a never-ending cycle of unfulfillment and eventually, disillusionment. 

The more enlightened folks I’ve come across value appreciation not ambition–the type of mindset that reflects their positive aura. 

So let those petty feelings of envy go and start being thankful for the good things in your life. 

Final thoughts 

While a bit of healthy cynicism is fine, when negativity takes control of your life, it’s a mental and emotional hole that can be difficult to escape. 

Don’t let it get to this point. Life is short. Realize that being negative isn’t attractive. 

Conversely, positivity isn’t lame; in fact, it’s a reflection of your maturity. You’ll be drawing the right people and energy into your life as well. 

As I said earlier, acknowledgment (and awareness) is the first step. 

When you can acknowledge your tendencies, you can mindfully catch yourself and correct and redirect those behaviors. 

Remember, you deserve a fulfilling life brimming with joy, and it’s absolutely okay to reach out and ask for support. 

We’re all works in progress, and the effort to nurture positivity within us is one of the most valuable projects we can undertake.

So start injecting positivity into your life, exciting things await!