12 ways to spot a liar (even if they’re really good)

We’ve all told a white lie here and there, right? But what about those who seem to make lying a second nature? 

Those tricky fibs can sow mistrust and confusion in relationships, whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague. 

Spotting a liar isn’t always easy, but these 12 insightful tips can help you discern fact from fiction. 

I’ll share personal insights on how to catch even the craftiest of deceivers. Let’s dive in!

1) Inconsistent stories

We’ve all been there: caught up in a conversation and something just doesn’t add up. 

Liars often have trouble keeping their stories straight. From personal experience, I’ve noticed that inconsistent details can be a significant red flag. 

The next time someone’s tale seems to shift and change, pay close attention. Their muddled storyline could reveal a hidden lie.

2) Overly elaborate explanations

Ever asked a simple question and received a novel in response? 

Some liars tend to weave overly complex and elaborate explanations to cover their tracks. 

I once asked a friend where he’d been, and the elaborate story that unfolded could have filled a book! 

Sometimes, the more complex the lie, the more difficult it is to maintain. 

If something feels unnecessarily complicated, it might be worth digging a little deeper. Trust your gut; it might be telling you something’s off.

3) Too much eye contact or too little

Contrary to popular belief, liars don’t always avoid eye contact. 

In fact, they might overcompensate by holding your gaze for too long, almost as if challenging you to doubt them. 

On the other hand, some liars may find it difficult to look you in the eye. It’s a delicate balance, and it may vary from person to person. 

Observing how their eye contact differs from their usual behavior could provide insight into whether they’re being truthful.

4) Unnecessary embellishments and added drama

Liars often use embellishments and added drama to make their story more convincing or distract from the truth. 

If someone’s recounting of an event seems to include too many flashy details or extraordinary coincidences, it could be a sign that they’re trying to divert your attention from the core truth. 

I once knew someone who had a flair for drama in their stories, and over time, I realized it was a tactic to mask the real facts.

5) Defensive body language

Body language can reveal a lot about a person’s honesty. Liars often become defensive when questioned, and this can manifest physically. 

Watch for crossed arms, leaning away, or other protective postures. 

These signs might indicate that the person is guarding against being discovered. 

Even a seasoned liar’s words might be convincing, but their body often betrays their true intentions. It’s an insight I’ve found valuable in more than one tricky conversation.

6) Overuse of filler words and stalling tactics

When people lie, they often need extra time to craft their deceit, and this can lead to the overuse of filler words like “um,” “uh,” “well,” and others. 

They may also employ stalling tactics like repeating your question before answering. 

I’ve noticed this in numerous situations, and it’s fascinating how a simple “um” might be a sign of something more.

7) Avoidance of personal pronouns

Liars may subconsciously distance themselves from their deception by avoiding personal pronouns like “I,” “me,” or “my.” 

Instead of saying, “I went to the store,” they might say, “Went to the store.” 

This can be a subtle way to detach themselves from the lie. Having seen this pattern in some conversations, I can attest that it’s a telling sign of dishonesty.

8) Overemphasis on honesty

Sometimes, liars will go out of their way to emphasize their honesty, using phrases like “To tell you the truth,” “Honestly,” or “I swear to God.” 

While it’s normal to use these expressions occasionally, a liar may use them excessively to persuade you of their sincerity. 

It’s a tactic I’ve observed in others, and it can be a clear red flag that something’s amiss. 

If someone seems to be trying too hard to convince you of their honesty, it may be worth a second thought.

9) Inappropriate emotions or lack of emotion

When someone is lying, their emotions might not align with what they’re saying. 

They might smile when discussing something sad or seem unusually unemotional when talking about something that should evoke feelings. 

I’ve come across this mismatch in expressions a few times, and it’s a sign that the person might not be entirely genuine with their words. 

Always look for emotions that match the content of the conversation.

10) Changes in speech patterns

Liars may also exhibit changes in their speech patterns. 

This could include speaking more quickly or slowly than usual, a shift in tone, or even a change in the pitch of their voice.

Such variations might reveal nervousness or a conscious effort to control their speech to make the lie more believable. 

I remember talking to someone whose voice seemed oddly high-pitched, only to discover later that they were hiding something. 

Being attuned to these subtle changes can offer valuable clues.

11) Touching face or covering mouth

Touching the face or covering the mouth while speaking may indicate that a person is lying. 

These gestures might be a subconscious way of hiding the truth or suppressing dishonest words. 

It’s a behavior I’ve noticed especially when people are telling a small lie, and it can be quite revealing. 

Paying attention to these small, often unconscious gestures can provide insight into whether someone is being entirely truthful.

12) Offering information not asked for

Finally, a liar might offer more information than what was asked for in an effort to appear honest and open. 

They may go into unnecessary detail about parts of their story that are irrelevant to the question at hand. 

I once asked a simple question and got a 10-minute response filled with extraneous details. 

This over-explanation can be a deliberate strategy to overwhelm you with information and make the lie seem more credible.

Why some people lie so well

Some people seem to have mastered the art of lying to such an extent that it becomes challenging to distinguish their lies from the truth. 

But why is this so? 

Here are some reasons that explain why some individuals lie so convincingly:

1) Practice makes perfect

Just like any other skill, lying can be honed and improved with practice. 

Some individuals lie frequently, either out of necessity or habit, and over time they develop the ability to lie convincingly. 

They learn to control their voice, body language, and other cues that might give them away.

2) Psychological traits and personality disorders

Certain psychological traits and personality disorders, such as psychopathy or narcissism, may make an individual more adept at lying. 

These people often lack empathy, which allows them to lie without feeling guilty or experiencing the anxiety that might betray others. 

Their self-centered perspective helps them manipulate the truth to suit their needs.

3) Cognitive abilities

Lying requires cognitive effort. Crafting a convincing lie involves creating a story, remembering details, and keeping track of what’s been said. 

People with higher cognitive abilities may find this process easier, making their lies more believable.

4) Social skills and emotional intelligence

Those with well-developed social skills and emotional intelligence may lie effectively because they understand how others think and feel. 

They can anticipate reactions and tailor their lies to be more persuasive to specific individuals. 

This awareness of social dynamics allows them to lie convincingly, as they know what others want to hear.

5) Survival and adaptive strategies

In some cases, lying well may have developed as a survival or adaptive strategy. 

Individuals who have grown up in challenging environments where honesty was not always rewarded might learn to lie as a way to protect themselves or gain advantage. 

Over time, this can become a deeply ingrained behavior.

6) Cultural factors

Cultural norms and values can also play a role in how well someone lies. 

In some cultures, lying might be more accepted or even encouraged in certain situations, such as saving face or preserving social harmony. 

Growing up in such an environment may enable an individual to lie more proficiently without feeling guilt or remorse.

Final words

Understanding why some people lie so well isn’t about making excuses for dishonest behavior. 

Instead, it provides insight into the complexities of human behavior and interaction. 

Recognizing these underlying factors can help us navigate relationships and communication more effectively, even when faced with those who may deceive us skillfully. 

Whether it’s an innate talent or a learned skill, lying is a multifaceted behavior that varies widely among individuals.