If you’re willing to do these 10 things, you love someone unconditionally

by Brendan Brown | March 23, 2024, 7:13 pm

Have you ever heard of the concept of “unconditional love?” 

Personally, I first encountered this powerful idea while exploring the work of Carl Rogers, a humanistic psychologist. 

Rogers painted a picture of love that doesn’t measure, doesn’t count, and doesn’t seek reciprocity. It’s the kind of love that simply… is.

Does this sound like your relationship with someone special? 

If you’re not sure, keep reading because I’ve got a list of 10 things that may just answer your question.

1) You patiently listen to their stories and worries

Let’s begin with something that seems basic, yet is absolutely vital – listening. 

You’re there for them, eager to listen to their concerns. 

Not just physically, but emotionally as well. 

But hang on a second — it’s not just about letting their words wash over you as you nod along. It’s about putting your own thoughts on pause, focusing on their words, their emotions, and showing that you genuinely care. 

It’s about saying, “I’m here, I’m listening, and your worries matter to me.” 

When they talk about their fears, dreams, or anxieties, you don’t rush to advise or judge. You take time to listen, to truly hear what they’re saying.

If this resonates with you, it’s a clear sign of unconditional love.

2) You provide support during their personal growth

Here’s the deal: personal growth can be a rollercoaster ride, filled with thrilling highs and challenging lows. 

But guess what?

You stick around! 

You’re there to applaud their victories, pick them up after failures, and cheer them on as they discover new aspects of themselves. 

Why?

Because you know that their growth isn’t just about them. 

It’s about you, your relationship, and your shared future.

The simple truth is that when you love someone unconditionally, you become their cheerleader, their motivator, and sometimes, their anchor.

The best part?

It’s not because it benefits you, but because it helps them flourish.

3) You stand up for them in their absence

Now, let me ask you a question:

Do you find yourself stepping forward when others step back? 

Admit it — when someone talks down about your loved one and they’re not there to defend themselves, do you step in?

Let’s say you’re at a casual get-together, and someone makes a snide remark about your partner, friend, or family member who couldn’t be there. 

Even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it’s easier to stay quiet, you don’t. 

You correct the misconception, you uphold their reputation, not out of obligation, but out of respect and love.

Well, here’s the thing:

You simply can’t tolerate disrespect towards them, whether they’re present or not.

Sounds familiar?

If so, trust me: it’s a clear testament to your unconditional love. 

4) You can be their calm in the midst of a storm

Ready for an interesting fact?

It turns out that during times of stress, being around or thinking of a loved one can provide significant relief.

Sounds impressive, right?

Well, we can’t deny it: life can get chaotic. But even in these turbulent times, can you be the one to offer calm and comfort?

If you’re willing to stand by them, weathering the storm together, it’s a sign of your unconditional love.

The thing is that being a source of peace and stability for someone else, especially in times of distress, shows a profound level of love and dedication.

In simple terms, your stability gives them a sense of peace when they need it most. And guess what? 

That’s the essence of unconditional love: being that rock of emotional support they can always rely on. How awesome is that?

5) You embrace their imperfections

Think about this for a moment:

Do you accept them with their flaws and mistakes?

If the answer is a resounding ‘yes,’ then you’re on the right track. 

You see, in the realm of unconditional love, forgiveness is key. But let’s be clear – it’s not about pretending that they’re perfect.

It’s about understanding that, like everyone else, they’re bound to mess up. It’s about looking at their errors and saying, “I see this, and I love you anyway.”

That kind of acceptance isn’t easy. But you know what?

That’s what makes it a sign of unconditional love

You’re saying, “You’re not perfect, and that’s perfectly okay.”

6) You make sacrifices for their happiness

Now, don’t get me wrong here. 

When I say ‘sacrifices,’ I’m not talking about grand, dramatic gestures. 

Instead, it could be as simple as giving up a weekend plan to be with them when they’re having a rough day.

Sure, it’s not always easy to put someone else’s needs before yours. But when you do, it’s a powerful testament to your love.

The bottom line?

You’re willing to compromise and make sacrifices, not because you’re losing something, but because their happiness brings you joy. 

And that, for sure, is unconditional love in action.

7) You respect their individuality

How’s this for a fresh perspective?

Unconditional love isn’t about owning or controlling someone. It’s about respecting their individuality.

Here’s what I mean: you appreciate and love them for who they are, not for who you want them to be. 

Let’s say, for instance, your partner has a passion for painting, but you’re more of a sporty person who doesn’t really ‘get’ art. 

Even if you don’t understand the joy they derive from mixing colors on a canvas, you can still respect it. 

Sounds like you?

Then, I bet you encourage your partner to follow their passion. Why?

Because you believe it’s part of what makes them unique, even if it doesn’t align with your interests.

8) You’re always there for them in their weakest moments

Have you ever held someone while they cried?

Maybe it was a moment of defeat, a crushing disappointment, or a personal tragedy. They were vulnerable, broken, and you were there.

In either case, we need to face this:

We all have moments of weakness. And unconditional love means you’re there for them, especially in these challenging times.

This isn’t about being a hero. It’s not about swooping in to save the day. 

It’s about being there in those raw, fragile moments when they’re not at their best. 

When they might not be able to stand on their own, you’re there to say, “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

In those moments, when you choose to stay and offer comfort, it’s more than just support. It’s a sign of love – unconditional, unwavering love.

9) You hold space for their emotions

Here’s something that might sound counterintuitive: sometimes, the best way to show your love isn’t by doing anything at all.

Confused? Let me clarify.

Imagine that your loved one is having a rough day. They’re upset, frustrated, or simply overwhelmed. Your instinct might be to fix it, to offer advice or solutions. 

But what they may need most is simply the freedom to feel their emotions.

The truth is that holding space means providing a safe, empathetic environment where they can express themselves freely. No judgments. 

No interruptions. No rush to find solutions.

10) You take time to understand their perspective

Ready for the final one?

Unconditional love means seeing things from their perspective. 

It’s about acknowledging that their experiences and viewpoints can be different from yours.

And believe me, that’s okay.

In order to convince you, I’d love to share one of my favorite quotes I learnt on my psychology classes:

As positive psychology pioneer Daniel Goleman once said, “A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain”.

Here’s the deal:

When you love someone unconditionally, you strive to understand their feelings and thoughts, even when they seem foreign or difficult. 

Remember: True understanding comes from opening your mind to their thoughts, ideas, and feelings. 

Final thoughts

To wrap things up, unconditional love – it’s more than a phrase, it’s a transformative force. 

This is not the love of fairy tales. It’s those small yet meaningful actions that say “I’m here for you,” and “You matter to me.” 

So, as you continue on your journey, remember: to love unconditionally is to live boldly. 

Take the leap, embrace the journey, and love without limits. The power is in your hands. The choice is yours!

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