If you can’t remember the last time you felt excited by life, say goodbye to these 8 habits

There’s a difference between feeling calm and feeling numb. Calm is when you’re grounded, steady, and at peace.

Numb is when life feels like a gray blur—days passing, routines repeating, and nothing making you want to jump out of bed.

If you’ve been in that second category lately, you’re not broken. But you might be carrying around habits that quietly drain your energy and curiosity.

I’ve been there. In my 20s, I went through a stretch where every day felt like a photocopy of the one before. I was “fine,” but I wasn’t alive. And I didn’t even notice it happening until months had passed.

That’s the thing about these habits—they’re subtle. They sneak into your daily rhythm until your world is smaller, flatter, and quieter than you remember it being.

1. Saying yes to things you don’t actually care about

If you’re constantly agreeing to commitments out of guilt or obligation, you’re basically filling your life with noise.

And when there’s too much noise, the things that could actually light you up don’t have space to get in.

I’ve been guilty of it: saying “yes” to social plans I didn’t want, projects that didn’t excite me, and favors I had no time for—just because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

The problem? That’s a slow way to starve yourself of genuine enthusiasm. Every “yes” to something that drains you is a “no” to something that could inspire you.

My friend Rudá Iandê nails it in his book Laughing in the Face of Chaos: “Their happiness is their responsibility, not yours.”

When I read that, I realized how much of my energy I was giving away trying to keep other people comfortable.

If you want to feel excited again, you’ve got to clear the mental clutter—and that means protecting your calendar like your life depends on it. Because in a way, it does.

2. Letting autopilot run the show

Wake up. Coffee. Work. Scroll. Eat. TV. Sleep. Repeat.

Familiar? That’s the autopilot trap—and it’s one of the quickest ways to lose your spark for life.

Structure is useful, but when everything is predictable, your brain stops releasing those little hits of dopamine that come from novelty and challenge.

This is why new experiences feel so vivid. The first time you try a food, travel somewhere unfamiliar, or meet someone new, your brain lights up. But if every week looks like the last, you’re depriving yourself of that mental spark.

The fix doesn’t have to be extreme. You don’t need to quit your job and backpack through Asia (unless you want to). You can shake things up in small, manageable ways:

• Take a different route to work.

• Rearrange your living space.

• Try a hobby you’ve never touched before.

• Swap your go-to café for a new one across town.

When you make micro-changes, you tell your brain: “Pay attention, something’s happening.” And that’s exactly what excitement needs.

3. Avoiding discomfort at all costs

A lot of people confuse excitement with comfort. But the truth is, most of the best things in life come with a little fear mixed in.

The first time you travel solo. Launching a business. Having a vulnerable conversation. That adrenaline isn’t a warning—it’s a sign you’re alive.

I used to play it safe, sticking to things I already knew I was good at. It felt good in the short term, but over time, life started to feel flat. Comfort had become a cage.

Then I started deliberately leaning into discomfort—signing up for events where I knew no one, pitching ideas that scared me, trying physical challenges that felt slightly beyond my limits.

That’s when I noticed a shift. My days felt sharper. I was anticipating things again.

Fear and excitement share the same physiological roots—your heart races, your breath changes, your senses sharpen.

If you avoid the first, you’ll lose the second. So if you’re bored, ask yourself: When was the last time I did something that made me nervous?

4. Surrounding yourself with people who settle

Energy is contagious. If you spend most of your time with people who complain about life but never change it, it’s going to rub off on you.

I’m not saying you should abandon friends just because they’re in a rough season. But if your core group treats curiosity, ambition, and joy like optional extras, you’ll start to lower your own bar without even realizing it.

I’ve seen this happen—both ways. When I’m around people who are experimenting with new hobbies, starting side projects, or planning trips, I feel pulled along in their momentum.

When I’m around people who see life as something to endure instead of engage with, I feel myself slowing down.

Seek out people who are curious. Who ask good questions. Who are willing to fail in public. You don’t have to match their pace, but proximity to that kind of energy has a way of waking you up.

5. Ignoring what your body is telling you

We talk about excitement like it’s purely mental, but your body is your earliest warning system.

Low energy, constant fatigue, and that subtle sense of heaviness—they’re all clues that something is off.

I’ve learned (often the hard way) that ignoring physical signals kills excitement faster than anything else.

Sometimes it’s because you’re overworked. Sometimes because your diet’s out of whack. And sometimes because you haven’t moved your body in days.

Rudá Iandê writes, “Everything that you conceive of as ‘you’—your personality, your memories, your hopes and dreams—is a product of the miraculous creature that is your body.”

When I first read that, it reframed everything for me. My mood wasn’t separate from my physical health—it was deeply tied to it.

You don’t have to overhaul your life. But prioritizing movement, good nutrition, and rest will give you the physical foundation you need to feel enthusiastic again. Energy is fuel, and excitement burns through it fast.

6. Constantly chasing the “next” thing

One of the most subtle excitement-killers? Believing you can only feel good once you’ve reached a future goal.

That mindset pushes joy into the distance—and the distance keeps moving.

I’ve talked about this before, but Eastern philosophy has taught me that excitement is easier to find in the present moment than in some imagined future.

When you stop making your happiness conditional on “when X happens,” you open up space to enjoy what’s already here.

I’ve seen it in myself: I’d hit a milestone and instantly shift to the next one without ever feeling satisfied. It was exhausting. The cure wasn’t to stop striving—it was to stop postponing joy.

Try this experiment for one day:

Instead of focusing on what you still have to achieve, deliberately notice small pleasures. The smell of fresh coffee. A great conversation. Music you forgot you loved. That tiny shift changes how you show up for life.

7. Comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel

Nothing drains enthusiasm like thinking you’re behind. And thanks to social media, it’s never been easier to feel that way.

Here’s the problem—most of what you’re comparing yourself to isn’t real. It’s curated, filtered, and cropped to look effortless.

I’ve caught myself doing it: scrolling through someone else’s travel photos while ignoring the fact that I had just spent an amazing weekend with friends.

It’s not about deleting your accounts (though a detox can be powerful). It’s about remembering you’re on your own timeline. Excitement comes from living your story, not from trying to match someone else’s.

One thing that helps me: whenever I catch myself comparing, I ask, Would I want their entire life, or just this one polished moment? The answer is always the latter. That perspective shift keeps me grounded.

8. Waiting for motivation to magically appear

This one’s tricky because it feels true—we think we need motivation to start doing exciting things. But in reality, action often comes before motivation.

If you’re waiting to feel inspired before you take a step, you’ll be waiting forever.

The better approach is to start small: sign up for that class, message that old friend, plan that weekend trip. Movement creates momentum, and momentum creates excitement.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve dragged myself into something half-heartedly, only to find myself buzzing halfway through. You can’t think your way back into excitement. You have to act your way into it.

Start tiny. Send one email. Read the first page. Walk for ten minutes. It doesn’t matter how small the action is—it matters that you’re moving.

Final words

Feeling flat doesn’t mean your life is over—it means it’s time to audit what’s stealing your spark.

Excitement doesn’t just happen to us. It’s built, one choice at a time. It’s the result of saying no to what drains you, yes to what challenges you, and paying attention to the signals your mind and body are sending.

And if you need a deeper push, I’ll say this: reading Laughing in the Face of Chaos reminded me that “when we stop resisting ourselves, we become whole. And in that wholeness, we discover a reservoir of strength, creativity, and resilience we never knew we had.”

That wholeness? That’s where excitement lives. And it’s a lot closer than you think.