Category: Blog

Last spring, on a Sunday afternoon in Bangkok, I sat down at my kitchen counter with a coffee and tried to write a list of things I wanted to do in my forties. The list was supposed to be aspirational. The list was supposed to clarify, for me, ...Read More

I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a researcher. I'm just someone who has spent a long time watching people, including myself, and noticing how often the loneliest person at a table is the one telling the best stories. A few months ago I was sitting on a wooden ...Read More

You know the feeling. You've been putting in the hours. The to-do list is full and then full again. You're answering messages, taking meetings, ticking boxes, staying late. By any visible measure you're working harder than you were a year ago. So why does it feel like you're moving ...Read More

I used to use solitude and loneliness interchangeably. Two words for the same thing. Being on your own. Somewhere in my thirties I realised they weren't the same thing at all. They can look similar from a distance. Both involve being alone, or feeling alone. Both happen quietly, without ...Read More

For most of my twenties, I thought being articulate meant being able to use the right vocabulary at the right moment. I'd read a lot. I'd picked up the phrases. I knew when to say "nuanced" and "trajectory" and "tension between" and "the broader pattern." In meetings I could ...Read More

I've started to notice a particular kind of loneliness that doesn't look like loneliness from the outside. The person has a family. A long marriage, maybe. A job where people know their name. They show up to birthdays, they answer texts, they're surrounded by people who care about them ...Read More