9 things people do when they secretly look down on you

As Hack Spirit founder and keen mindfulness enthusiast Lachlan Brown, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time studying human behavior and interactions.

Let’s face it, not everyone we meet will have our best interests at heart. There are those who, no matter how well we get along on the surface, might secretly look down on us.

Indeed, it’s quite possible to find yourself in a situation where you suspect someone isn’t quite as respectful or appreciative of you as they portray.

But how do you know for sure? Well, in an effort to help you navigate such tricky terrain more effectively, I’ve put together a list of nine things people do when they secretly look down on you.

My aim is to help you better identify these subtle signs and manage such situations with grace and tact. After all, we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness!

1) They frequently interrupt you

When someone constantly cuts you off mid-sentence, it’s a strong indication they might not value what you have to say.

Interruption is a clear form of disrespect. It’s as if the person is telling you, without words, that their thoughts and ideas are more important than yours.

Of course, there can be cultural differences, conversational styles, or even just bad habits at play.

However, if it’s a consistent pattern, and especially if it seems to be just with you, this could be a sign that they’re secretly looking down on you.

In fact, renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

When someone keeps interrupting you, it’s an opportunity not only to recognize their lack of respect but also to reflect on why it bothers you and how you can better handle such situations.

2) They dismiss your ideas

I’ve faced this situation myself: sharing a thought or idea, only to have it dismissed outright, sometimes even before I’ve finished explaining it.

It’s a feeling many of us can relate to.

Once, during a meeting at the early stages of Hack Spirit, I proposed a new strategy for our content distribution.

Before I could even complete my pitch, one colleague jumped in, casually brushing off my idea as unworkable. There was no discussion, no counter-argument—just flat dismissal.

It was a clear sign that they didn’t value my input or perspective.

If you find your ideas being dismissed in a similar manner, it could be an indication that the person secretly looks down on you.

3) They constantly correct you

Another common tactic of those who look down on others is the frequent need to correct them.

They might subtly (or not so subtly) point out your mistakes, correct your grammar or challenge your facts, even when it’s not necessary or relevant.

When someone is incessantly correcting you, they are indirectly implying that they know better than you.

This might be their way of asserting dominance or showing that they look down on you.

It’s crucial to remember that everyone has their own strengths and areas of expertise.

Let’s respect each other’s experiences and wisdom, rather than using corrections as a tool to belittle.

4) They never seek your opinion

There’s a lot to be said for someone who never asks for your opinion on anything.

This could be telling of how they view your thoughts and ideas as insignificant or irrelevant.

The assumption here is that if they valued or respected your perspective, they would naturally be interested in hearing it.

By consistently excluding you from decision-making processes or discussions, they are indirectly communicating that they look down on you.

Psychologically speaking, this behavior can be rooted in a superiority complex or an inflated ego.

These individuals feel they are better or more knowledgeable than others and hence, don’t need their input.

As renowned psychologist Leon Festinger put it, “A man with a conviction is a hard man to change.”

If you’re dealing with someone who never seeks your opinion, it may be challenging to change their perspective.

However, knowing this sign can help you understand their behavior and strategize your interactions accordingly.

5) They’re overly polite

This might seem counter-intuitive, but an excess of politeness can sometimes be a sign that someone is looking down on you.

It’s all about the context and the sincerity behind it.

When politeness is genuine, it’s a sign of respect.

However, when it feels forced or overly formal, especially in casual settings, it could be a mask for condescension.

Such people might use excessively formal language, maintain an unnecessary distance, or constantly reiterate their politeness.

It can feel like they are holding you at arm’s length, maintaining a barrier that subtly signals their perceived superiority.

As the famous psychologist Alfred Adler said, “It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”

While it might be easy for someone to hide behind the facade of politeness, understanding this sign can help you discern their true intentions.

6) They rarely make eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication.

It can convey a range of emotions and intentions, from interest and respect to discomfort and disdain.

When someone rarely makes eye contact with you, it could be a sign that they’re not interested in what you have to say or that they don’t hold you in high regard.

It’s as if they’re saying, “You’re not worth my attention.”

Of course, everyone’s comfort level with eye contact can vary, and cultural norms can play a role too.

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards self-acceptance and change.

Don’t let anyone’s lack of eye contact undermine your self-worth.

7) They’re quick to criticize but slow to praise

Constructive criticism is one thing, but when someone is constantly pointing out your flaws and rarely acknowledging your achievements, it can feel like they’re looking down on you.

It’s as if they’re focusing on your shortcomings to reinforce their own superiority.

During the early days of Hack Spirit, I recall working with someone who never missed an opportunity to point out a mistake, yet rarely acknowledged any success.

It felt as though my efforts were going unnoticed and unappreciated.

This behavior can be demoralizing, but it’s important not to let it define your self-worth.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, so don’t let someone’s criticism skew your self-perception.

8) They only talk about themselves

Here’s another subtle sign: someone who monopolizes the conversation and only talks about themselves.

This could be a sign that they view their experiences, ideas, and opinions as more important or interesting than yours.

In these one-sided conversations, they rarely ask about your thoughts or experiences.

It’s as if they’re saying, “My life is more significant than yours.”

This behavior can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant. But remember, everyone’s experiences and thoughts are valuable.

As renowned psychologist Albert Ellis put it, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”

Don’t let anyone’s self-centeredness make you feel less significant.

9) They give backhanded compliments

Compliments are supposed to lift you up. But when someone looks down on you, their “praise” comes with tiny barbs attached.

It sounds like, “You’re actually pretty articulate,” or “That turned out better than I expected,” or “Wow, you look nice today—did you do something different?”

The message under the sugar-coating is that your baseline is low.

This tactic lets them signal superiority while keeping plausible deniability. If you call it out, they can claim you’re being too sensitive because, technically, they “complimented” you.

Patterns matter—one odd comment could be awkward phrasing.

If the flattery always has a sting—especially in front of others—it’s a quiet way of shrinking you to make themselves feel taller.

When you notice it, name the subtext calmly: “What part of that was a compliment?” or “Sounds like you had low expectations—why is that?”

Bringing it into the open often stops the game.

Perception is key

Understanding human behavior can be complex, especially when it comes to discerning subtle signs that someone might secretly look down on you.

Yet, recognizing these signs is only half the battle. The real challenge lies in how we perceive and react to them.

It’s important to remember that the way others treat us is more often a reflection of them, not us—it’s their perceptions, insecurities, or egos at play, and it’s crucial not to let them define our self-worth.

The next time you encounter any of these signs, take a moment. Reflect on what it says about the other person, not about you.

Consider how you can respond in a way that upholds your self-esteem and promotes mutual respect.