8 everyday manners from the 70s and 80s that people seriously need to bring back

Let’s be honest, some of the social grace we grew up with seems to have gone the way of rotary phones and cassette tapes. I don’t mean we all need to go back to wearing polyester suits and perms (thank goodness).

But when I look around, I can’t help noticing how many of the simple courtesies from the 70s and 80s have quietly vanished.

Back then, we didn’t need an app to remind us to be decent. We held doors open, said thank you, and made eye contact. It wasn’t about being old-fashioned, it was about respect.

People looked out for one another, and basic manners were like invisible threads holding communities together.

Now, I’m not saying everyone’s rude these days, far from it. There are still plenty of kind folks out there. But we seem to have drifted away from some of the basic habits that made everyday life a little smoother and more human.

So, I thought I’d share a few manners from those days that I think we could all stand to revive.

1. Saying “please” and “thank you” like we mean it

Remember when those words rolled off our tongues naturally? These days, I sometimes feel like they’ve been replaced by emojis or awkward silence.

A simple “please” or “thank you” isn’t just politeness, it’s acknowledgment. It says, “I see you. I appreciate what you’ve done.”

In the 70s and 80s, parents drilled those words into us before we could spell our own names. Teachers reinforced them.

Even TV shows modeled them, think Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood or Sesame Street. Those lessons stuck because they weren’t just rules, they were a way of showing respect and gratitude.

I still remember my dad telling me, “Manners are free, son. Use them often.” He wasn’t wrong. Saying thank you doesn’t cost a dime, but it can make someone’s day.

Psychologists have found that expressing gratitude improves both mood and relationships. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds.

In other words, those tiny phrases are like social glue, and we could use more of that these days.

2. Respecting elders and listening to their stories

When I was a kid, if an older person started talking, you stopped what you were doing and listened. You didn’t interrupt. You didn’t roll your eyes. You gave them your attention.

I’m not saying every grandparent’s story about walking uphill both ways in the snow was riveting, but those moments taught us patience and humility.

Now, I see so many younger folks half-listening while scrolling on their phones. We’ve lost that sense of reverence for experience.

I once overheard my grandson interrupting his great-grandmother mid-story. Before I could say anything, she smiled and said, “You’ll understand one day that old stories are really life lessons in disguise.”

That stopped him in his tracks. He sat back down and listened. By the end, he was asking her questions.

That’s the beauty of listening, it bridges generations. As Winston Churchill famously said, “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

Listening to elders helps us understand how we got here and how not to make the same mistakes again.

3. Writing thank-you notes

Here’s one that makes me nostalgic. I remember sitting at the kitchen table after Christmas or birthdays, pen in hand, writing thank-you cards.

My mother wouldn’t let me go outside until every note was done. I’d grumble about it, of course, but deep down, I knew it mattered.

Today, a quick text or “thx!” might pass as gratitude, but it’s not quite the same. A handwritten note shows time, thought, and intention. It tells the other person they were worth a few minutes of your undivided attention.

Years ago, after I retired, a young colleague sent me a handwritten note thanking me for mentoring her during her first year.

She could have emailed, but she didn’t. That little card sat on my desk for months. Every time I saw it, it reminded me that small gestures have lasting weight.

Psychologists have even tested this. People who write thank-you notes consistently underestimate how much the recipient will appreciate them. We assume it’s unnecessary or awkward, but studies show it makes a powerful impression.

So maybe it’s time to dust off that old stationery drawer (you know the one) and bring this one back.

4. Calling instead of texting for important things

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology. I use it every day. But there are moments when a text just doesn’t cut it.

Apologies, condolences, congratulations, those used to happen in person or at least by phone. You could hear tone, emotion, sincerity.

Now, even major life updates arrive with a “Hey btw” message.

I’ll never forget when a friend called me, actually called, to tell me his wife had beaten cancer. He said, “I figured I owed you more than a text.”

We ended up talking for an hour, laughing, crying, remembering the old days. That conversation meant more than any emoji could ever express.

As I covered in a previous post about emotional connection, hearing someone’s voice builds empathy and understanding. You can’t replicate that through typing.

So when something really matters, pick up the phone. It might feel old-school, but sometimes the human voice is exactly what’s needed.

5. Making eye contact and saying hello

When did we all get so scared of acknowledging each other? I walk Lottie, my golden retriever, around the park most mornings, and I’ve noticed something strange.

In the 80s, if you passed someone, you said hello or at least nodded. Now, half the time people keep their eyes glued to their phones, pretending not to see you.

Those small gestures of friendliness used to knit communities together. You didn’t need to know everyone to treat them like fellow humans.

Researchers at the University of Chicago found that even brief social interactions with strangers, like smiling at someone in the grocery store, can lift mood and increase feelings of connection. In other words, it’s not small talk, it’s social nourishment.

There’s something grounding about making eye contact and saying hello. It reminds us that we’re not just individuals rushing through life, we’re part of a shared experience.

So next time you’re out walking, look up, smile, and greet someone. It’s a habit that never goes out of style.

6. Keeping your word

There was a time when a handshake meant something. If you said you’d do something, you did it. You showed up when you said you would, even if it was inconvenient.

Somewhere along the line, reliability got replaced with “Sorry, I forgot” texts or last-minute cancellations. Life happens, of course, but being dependable builds trust and integrity.

As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote, “First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do.” Keeping your word, no matter how small the promise, is a reflection of character.

I learned this the hard way. Back in my working days, I once missed an important commitment I’d made to a coworker. He was polite about it but said, “Farley, I trusted you.” That one stung. From that day on, I vowed that if I gave my word, I’d follow through.

We live in a time when “ghosting” and casual flakiness are almost normalized. But standing by your commitments still matters, and people notice.

7. Teaching kids to mind their manners

This might sound like an old man’s rant, but hear me out. When I was young, you didn’t call adults by their first names. You said “Mr.” or “Mrs.” unless told otherwise. You waited your turn to speak. You didn’t interrupt grown-ups mid-conversation.

It wasn’t about hierarchy, it was about learning respect.

Nowadays, I see too many kids talking over adults or speaking rudely, and parents brushing it off as “confidence.” Confidence is great, but it’s not a free pass to forget courtesy.

I’m the first to admit I don’t know everything, but I’ve noticed something with my grandkids: when you teach kids respect early on, it sticks. They grow up knowing how to navigate the world with kindness and grace.

And teaching manners isn’t about being strict, it’s about modeling them. Kids don’t learn to say “thank you” because we lecture them; they learn it because they hear us say it.

8. Being considerate in public spaces

Remember when people used to keep their voices down in restaurants? Or let others off the elevator before barging in? Nowadays, between speakerphone conversations and blaring TikTok videos, it feels like public courtesy has taken a backseat.

Back in the day, we understood that public spaces were shared. You didn’t make others feel uncomfortable just because you could. If your music was too loud, someone told you, and you apologized. Not everything needed to be a debate.

Being considerate doesn’t cost a thing, it just requires awareness.

As Brené Brown once said, “Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘you’re not alone.’”

That’s what manners are, in a nutshell, a way of saying “you’re not alone here; we share this world together.” And really, isn’t that the heart of good behavior? Recognizing that your comfort isn’t the only one that matters.

Final thoughts

We’ve come a long way since the 70s and 80s, and I’m grateful for the progress we’ve made. But progress doesn’t mean we have to abandon the good things that kept our society kind and grounded.

Manners aren’t about being old-fashioned, they’re about being human.

Maybe it’s time to bring back a few of those old habits. Say thank you. Keep your word. Smile at a stranger. Teach your kids to show respect. These small courtesies ripple out farther than we realize.

After all, the best parts of the past aren’t meant to be left behind, they’re meant to remind us who we still can be. And who knows? If enough of us start bringing these little courtesies back, maybe the future will feel a bit more like home again.