If you want people to light up around you, start saying these 10 things

by Lachlan Brown | October 28, 2025, 4:10 am

Some people just have this energy about them, don’t they?

You know the type. When they walk into a room, conversations seem to flow easier, people smile more, and everyone feels a little lighter.

It’s not magic. It’s communication.

The truth is, the words you use every day can completely change how people respond to you. The right words can make others feel seen, valued, and energized, and that’s what makes people light up around you.

Here are ten simple things you can start saying today to bring out the best in others (and maybe yourself, too).

1. “I really appreciate that.”

Gratitude never goes unnoticed.

Too often, we assume people know we’re thankful, but saying it out loud is what actually strengthens the connection.

It doesn’t have to be grand, either. A simple “I really appreciate that” after someone helps you, listens, or just shows up makes them feel valued.

And when people feel valued, they naturally shine brighter.

2. “Tell me more.”

This one’s a game-changer.

Instead of jumping in with your own story or opinion, pause and invite the other person to share more. It signals genuine interest, something people crave but rarely receive.

It also makes conversations deeper and more meaningful. I started using this phrase more often after realizing how much people light up when they feel truly heard.

Give it a try. You might be surprised at how quickly people open up.

3. “I get what you mean.”

We all want to feel understood. It’s one of the most basic human needs.

When you say “I get what you mean” and truly mean it, it bridges the emotional gap. It tells the person that their perspective matters and that they’re not alone in how they feel.

You don’t have to agree with everything. Sometimes, just acknowledging their experience is enough to make them feel seen.

4. “You’re really good at that.”

Here’s something I’ve noticed: genuine compliments have incredible power when they’re specific.

Don’t just say “You’re great.” Say, “You’re really good at explaining things,” or “You always make people feel comfortable.”

These kinds of words go straight to the heart because they recognize effort and ability, not just surface qualities.

The best part is that encouraging others doesn’t take anything away from you. It actually makes you more magnetic.

5. “I could use your advice.”

This one surprises people in a good way.

When you ask for someone’s input, you show that you respect their judgment. You also shift the dynamic from surface-level to trust-based.

I started doing this more often a few years ago, especially with people I wanted to connect with on a deeper level. It’s amazing how fast relationships grow when you stop trying to impress and start seeking others’ wisdom.

People love to feel useful, and this phrase gives them that chance.

6. “That sounds tough.”

Not every moment is light and cheerful, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, people just need validation for what they’re going through. Saying “That sounds tough” or something similar tells them you’re not trying to fix them. You’re simply there with them.

It’s empathy in action. And ironically, that kind of presence can be even more uplifting than a pep talk.

When someone feels emotionally safe with you, they’ll remember it.

7. “You’ve got this.”

A few words of belief can go a long way.

We all have moments when our confidence wavers. Hearing someone else say “You’ve got this” can reignite that inner fire.

It’s not about being overly positive or fake. It’s about being the kind of person who sees potential in others and reminds them of it when they forget.

If you start saying this sincerely, you’ll notice people look at you differently. They’ll associate you with hope and encouragement, and that’s a powerful thing.

8. “I was wrong.”

This one takes courage, but it earns instant respect.

Admitting when you’re wrong doesn’t make people think less of you. It makes them trust you more.

I’ve talked about this before, but letting go of ego is one of the best things you can do for your relationships. It creates space for honesty and real connection.

Recently, I was reminded of this lesson while reading Rudá Iandê’s new book, Laughing in the Face of Chaos: A Politically Incorrect Shamanic Guide for Modern Life.

One line really stood out to me: “When we stop resisting ourselves, we become whole. And in that wholeness, we discover a reservoir of strength, creativity, and resilience we never knew we had.”

His insights hit home. I realized that admitting when I’m wrong isn’t just about humility—it’s about wholeness.

When we stop fighting our imperfections and own up to them, we free ourselves from the pressure of being “right” all the time. That space allows for real growth, both in ourselves and in our relationships.

People light up around humility because it feels rare. It shows maturity and, more importantly, humanity.

9. “Thank you for being you.”

This might sound simple, but it’s one of the most beautiful things you can say.

We live in a world where people constantly feel like they have to be more. More successful, more attractive, more everything.

When you tell someone, “Thank you for being you,” it cuts through all that noise. It tells them they’re enough, just as they are.

That kind of acceptance is unforgettable.

10. “How can I help?”

Nothing makes people light up faster than kindness in action.

It’s one thing to offer sympathy. It’s another to offer support. Asking “How can I help?” shows that you’re not just listening passively but are willing to step up.

Sometimes, they’ll say they don’t need anything, and that’s fine. The gesture itself matters. Other times, your willingness might be exactly what they needed to keep going.

And you know what? Helping others doesn’t just lift them. It lifts you, too.

Final words

At the end of the day, people don’t remember every conversation they have, but they do remember how those conversations made them feel.

You don’t need to be the funniest, smartest, or most interesting person in the room to make others light up. You just need to be intentional with your words.

The right ones—words of appreciation, empathy, belief, and honesty—can completely transform your relationships.

So start small. Try saying one or two of these things today. Watch how people respond. Watch how you respond.

Because when you make others light up, life around you starts to shine a little brighter, too.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.