10 phrases socially awkward people tend to use in everyday conversation

by Lachlan Brown | August 11, 2025, 9:29 pm

Social awkwardness isn’t about being “broken” or “bad at people.” It’s often about mismatched social cues—where the way you express yourself doesn’t quite land as intended. From a psychology perspective, awkwardness usually comes down to challenges with social calibration (adapting your behavior to the context) and self-monitoring (noticing how your words are received).

The truth? Many socially awkward moments happen because of certain phrases that feel natural to the speaker but create discomfort, confusion, or a conversational dead end for the listener.

Here are 10 phrases that socially awkward people tend to use—and why they can make interactions feel stilted, plus what to say instead.

1. “Uh… so… yeah.”

The filler fade-out

This phrase often appears at the end of a sentence when someone runs out of things to say but doesn’t know how to gracefully exit the moment. Psychologically, it’s a verbal crutch—buying time while your brain searches for the next step.

The problem? It signals to others that you’re unsure, disengaged, or not confident about what you just said. It can leave the conversation hanging awkwardly in midair.

Better approach: Practice ending your point with intention, even if it’s brief:

“Anyway, that’s what I thought.”
“And that’s the update for now.”

Concept at play: Conversational closure—ending a thought cleanly helps both parties move forward.

2. “Not to be rude, but…”

The accidental tension-builder

This is a classic face-threatening preface in psychology—it signals that what comes next might be offensive, which immediately puts the listener on guard.

Socially awkward people may use it as a way of softening criticism, but ironically, it often makes the comment land harder because the listener starts bracing for impact.

Better approach: If you need to give honest feedback, skip the warning and frame it constructively:

“Here’s something I think could make this better…”
“One thought that might help…”

Concept at play: Framing effect—the way you present feedback shapes how it’s received.

3. “This might sound stupid, but…”

Self-sabotage in disguise

From a psychological standpoint, this is preemptive self-deprecation—lowering expectations before you speak. Socially awkward people often use it to protect themselves from potential judgment, but it usually has the opposite effect: it makes others take your idea less seriously.

Better approach: If you’re not sure how your point will land, own it without the disclaimer:

“Here’s a thought—tell me what you think.”
“I’m curious if this makes sense…”

Concept at play: Self-fulfilling prophecy—if you signal your words aren’t valuable, people may treat them that way.

4. “You probably don’t care, but…”

The interest-killer

This phrase assumes the other person’s disinterest before giving them a chance to respond—a subtle form of mind reading bias in psychology. Socially awkward people sometimes use it to test the waters, but it can make others feel awkward for contradicting you.

Better approach: Introduce your topic with curiosity or a link to the other person’s world:

“You might find this interesting because…”
“This reminds me of something we talked about…”

Concept at play: Positive expectancy—framing something as worth hearing increases engagement.

5. “Anyway…” (with a hard subject change)

The abrupt conversational pivot

There’s nothing wrong with changing the subject—but socially awkward people sometimes do it with no transition, making the conversation feel jarring. This often happens when someone feels anxious, uncomfortable, or bored and wants to redirect.

Better approach: Use bridging language to make the shift feel natural:

“Speaking of that, it reminds me…”
“That’s interesting—it makes me think of…”

Concept at play: Conversational coherence—smooth topic changes maintain flow and connection.

6. “I don’t get it.”

The blunt shutdown

While honesty is good, this phrase can come across as dismissive if said without curiosity. In psychology, it can be seen as a conversational block—stopping the flow rather than inviting more clarity.

Better approach: Signal openness instead of judgment:

“I’m not sure I follow—can you explain a bit more?”
“That’s interesting, but I’m missing part of the picture.”

Concept at play: Active listening—showing genuine interest even when you’re confused builds rapport.

7. “That reminds me of me…”

The spotlight grab

Relating things back to yourself can be a form of self-disclosure, which is healthy in moderation. But socially awkward people sometimes do it too quickly, shifting the attention before the other person feels heard. This can make the interaction feel one-sided.

Better approach: Stay with the other person’s story a little longer before connecting it to your own:

“That’s interesting—tell me more about what happened.”
“I have a similar experience, but I want to hear the rest of yours first.”

Concept at play: Conversational reciprocity—balancing self-disclosure with attentive listening.

8. “Just kidding.” (after something awkward)

The defensive backpedal

When a joke or comment lands wrong, socially awkward people often retreat behind “just kidding” to soften the blow. But from a psychological standpoint, it can feel like a mixed message—was it serious or not?

Better approach: If you miss the mark, own it gracefully:

“Okay, that didn’t come out how I meant it.”
“I realize that might have sounded off—sorry about that.”

Concept at play: Repair attempts—clear, sincere corrections build trust faster than half-jokes.

9. “So… what’s new?” (as the main question)

The generic default

It’s fine to ask “what’s new?”—but relying on it as your main opener can make you seem disengaged. Socially awkward people often default to this because it feels safe, but in psychology terms, it lacks conversational specificity, which is what sparks richer dialogue.

Better approach: Ask about something specific you know matters to them:

“How’s that project you were working on?”
“Did you end up going to that event you mentioned?”

Concept at play: Specificity effect—the more tailored the question, the better the answer.

10. “Never mind.”

The sudden retreat

This phrase often comes when someone feels like their comment isn’t landing or they’re afraid of wasting time. In social psychology, it’s a withdrawal cue, and frequent use can make you seem closed off or disinterested.

Better approach: If you decide to change course, acknowledge it without cutting the connection:

“Actually, I’ll tell you later when it’s a better time.”
“Let me rephrase that…”

Concept at play: Face-saving strategies—maintaining engagement even when shifting gears.

Why these phrases matter

Each of these phrases ties back to common psychological themes that shape social dynamics:

  • Self-consciousness bias – Over-focusing on how you’re perceived can lead to over-correcting or awkward disclaimers.

  • Mind reading – Assuming you know what others think often leads to preemptive retreats or defensive framing.

  • Lack of conversational closure – Leaving thoughts unfinished or pivoting too abruptly disrupts the flow.

  • Unbalanced self-disclosure – Oversharing too soon or steering the focus back to yourself too quickly can feel self-centered.

  • Repair avoidance – Using “just kidding” instead of owning a misstep prevents genuine resolution.

How to break the habit

If you recognize yourself in any of these phrases, don’t panic—social skills are learnable. Here’s how to shift:

  1. Record yourself in casual conversation (with permission) and notice your patterns.

  2. Practice alternative phrases so you have them ready in the moment.

  3. Focus on curiosity—ask follow-up questions, reflect on what you’ve heard, and resist the urge to rush in with your own story.

  4. End your points with confidence—signal that you’re done speaking without trailing off.

  5. Accept small silences—you don’t need to fill every pause with filler words.

The bigger takeaway

Social awkwardness isn’t a fixed trait—it’s a set of habits that can change with awareness and practice. By swapping out these 10 common phrases for more confident, curious alternatives, you can make your conversations flow more naturally, reduce misunderstandings, and create a sense of ease for everyone involved.

In the end, it’s not about sounding perfectly smooth—it’s about making others feel comfortable enough to keep talking. And when that happens, the “awkward” label starts to fade away entirely.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.