15 phrases people with low self-confidence often use in everyday conversation

by Lachlan Brown | August 12, 2025, 9:21 pm

Low self-confidence doesn’t always show up as shyness or a lack of ability. Often, it reveals itself in the little ways people speak—the words and phrases they choose without even realizing the message they send.

Language shapes how others see us, but it also shapes how we see ourselves. Certain phrases can make you appear less confident, even if you’re perfectly capable. Over time, repeating them can reinforce feelings of self-doubt.

Here are 15 common phrases people with low self-confidence often use, and why they send the wrong signal.

1. “I’m sorry” (when it’s not necessary)

Apologizing for mistakes is healthy. But people with low self-confidence often say “sorry” out of habit—even when they haven’t done anything wrong.

It can make you seem like you’re always in the wrong or afraid of taking up space.

Example: Saying, “Sorry for bothering you,” instead of “Do you have a moment to talk?”

2. “Does that make sense?”

On its own, this phrase is harmless. But used too often, it suggests you doubt your ability to explain things clearly.

It can make you seem uncertain, even if you’re completely right.

Example: After sharing an idea at work: “We could try a new system… does that make sense?” instead of “We could try a new system, and here’s why it works.”

3. “It’s just…”

Adding “just” to a sentence can unintentionally make your point seem smaller or less important.

Example: “I just thought maybe we could…” sounds less confident than “I think we should…”

It’s a subtle signal that you’re softening your voice to avoid disagreement.

4. “I’m not sure, but…”

Even if you have a great idea, starting with this phrase tells people not to take it too seriously. It’s a preemptive way of lowering expectations in case you’re wrong.

Example: “I’m not sure, but I think we could save time by…” instead of simply stating your idea.

5. “You probably already know this, but…”

This phrase assumes what you’re about to say isn’t valuable. It puts the other person in a position of authority before you’ve even spoken.

Example: “You probably already know this, but the meeting was moved to Friday.” A more confident version: “The meeting has been moved to Friday.”

6. “I could be wrong, but…”

Like other hedging phrases, this one softens your opinion so much that it loses impact.

While humility is good, constant disclaimers can make it seem like you don’t believe in your own ideas.

Example: “I could be wrong, but I think that’s the wrong file.” Instead: “That looks like the wrong file.”

7. “This might be a stupid question, but…”

Many people use this to avoid embarrassment if the question seems obvious. But it actually draws more attention to insecurity than the question itself.

Confident people know every question is valid if it leads to better understanding.

Example: Instead of “This might be a stupid question, but how does this work?” say “Could you walk me through how this works?”

8. “I think…” (when stating facts)

“I think” is fine when giving opinions, but using it before stating a fact can make you sound unsure.

Example: “I think the meeting starts at 2” when you know it starts at 2 weakens your authority. A better approach: “The meeting starts at 2.”

9. “Sorry, I’m terrible at this”

Self-deprecating humor can be charming in moderation, but constant put-downs make others believe you really doubt yourself.

It also makes you seem less capable than you are.

Example: Instead of “Sorry, I’m terrible at spreadsheets,” say “I’m still learning spreadsheets, but I’ll figure it out.”

10. “If that’s okay with you” (when it’s already reasonable)

It’s polite to consider others, but overusing this phrase can make you seem like you’re seeking permission for everything.

Example: “I’ll send you the file this afternoon, if that’s okay with you” can be more confidently stated as “I’ll send you the file this afternoon.”

11. “I’m no expert, but…”

This one immediately lowers your authority before you even share your point.

It’s fine to admit you’re not an expert, but if you know your stuff, lead with your point instead.

Example: “I’m no expert, but this marketing plan could work” vs. “This marketing plan could work, here’s why…”

12. “I don’t know” (as a default answer)

Sometimes people use “I don’t know” out of habit, even when they actually have an opinion or partial answer.

This can make you seem disengaged or uninterested in problem-solving.

Example: Instead of “I don’t know” when asked for input, try “I’m not sure yet, but my first thought is…”

13. “I’ll try” (instead of committing)

Saying you’ll “try” can sound like you’re unsure you can follow through. Confident people either commit or clearly state limitations.

Example: “I’ll try to send it by Friday” vs. “I’ll send it by Friday” or “I can have it ready Monday—will that work?”

14. “I hope this is okay”

This phrase often appears in emails or when handing over work. While polite, it subtly suggests you expect criticism.

Example: “I hope this is okay” vs. “Here’s the completed work—let me know if you’d like any changes.”

15. “Never mind” (after starting to speak)

Cutting yourself off sends a strong signal of self-doubt. It suggests that your thought isn’t worth hearing, even if others might have been interested.

Example: Someone asks for ideas, you start explaining, then say “Never mind” because you think it’s not good enough. A confident approach is to finish your thought and let them decide.

Why these phrases matter

It’s not that any of these phrases are “bad” in themselves—it’s how often and how automatically they appear that matters. Used occasionally, they might not mean much. But when they become part of your everyday language, they can shape how others see you—and how you see yourself.

Replacing them with more confident alternatives doesn’t mean becoming arrogant or pushy. It’s about speaking in a way that reflects your capability, authority, and self-respect.

How to start sounding more confident

  • Notice your patterns: Pay attention to how often you use these phrases. Awareness is the first step to change.

  • Pause before speaking: A short pause can help you choose more assertive wording.

  • Replace hedges with clarity: Instead of “I think,” try stating facts directly. Instead of “I’ll try,” commit when you can.

  • Practice neutral confidence: You don’t need to overhype yourself—just avoid undercutting your own words.

Confidence often starts with language. By making small shifts in how you speak, you can gradually reshape how others perceive you—and how you perceive yourself.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.