If you tolerate these 8 behaviors from people, you seriously lack self-respect (and it’s a sign you need to put yourself first)

by Lachlan Brown | May 13, 2026, 10:56 am

There’s a fine line between being easy-going and letting others walk all over you.

Sometimes, we put up with certain behaviors from people around us, not realizing we’re essentially giving them permission to disrespect us.

Tolerating these behaviors is a clear indication that we’re not putting ourselves first, and frankly, that we lack self-respect.

In this article, I’m going to highlight 8 behaviors that you should never tolerate from anyone. Because if you do, it’s a sign you need to stand up for yourself and start prioritizing your own needs.

1) Disrespectful comments

Disrespect comes in many forms, but one of the most common is hurtful or degrading comments.

We’ve all been there. Someone makes an offhand remark that leaves a sting. Sometimes, we brush it off, telling ourselves they didn’t mean it. But deep down, we know it hurts.

If you find yourself consistently on the receiving end of disrespectful comments from someone, it’s a red flag that this person doesn’t respect you.

And by tolerating this behavior, you’re essentially saying it’s okay to treat you this way. It’s a clear sign that you’re not prioritizing your own self-respect.

You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Don’t just brush off those disrespectful comments. Stand up for yourself and demand the respect that you deserve.

2) They disregard your boundaries

There was once a friend in my life who had a knack for showing up unannounced at my place. Initially, I brushed it off, thinking it was just her quirky trait. But soon, the impromptu visits started to infringe on my personal space and time.

I had set a boundary – I needed my alone time and preferred if she called before dropping by. However, she simply ignored it, continuing with her surprise visits.

This behavior was a blatant disrespect of my personal boundaries.

If you’re in a similar situation where someone keeps overstepping your boundaries, it’s a clear sign of lack of respect. By tolerating it, you’re not giving yourself the respect you deserve.

Setting boundaries is about respecting your own needs and values. If someone can’t respect them, it’s time for you to put yourself first.

3) They constantly belittle your achievements

In the world of psychology, there’s a term called “downward social comparison.” This is when people compare themselves to others who they perceive as less competent or less successful than they are to feel better about themselves.

If someone in your life is constantly belittling your achievements, it’s likely they’re using you as their downward social comparison. They’re trying to boost their own self-esteem at your expense.

By tolerating this behavior, you’re allowing them to undermine your accomplishments and devalue your hard work. It’s a clear indication that you need to put yourself first and demand the respect you rightfully deserve for your achievements.

4) They try to control your life

A core tenet of Buddhism is the idea of self-determination and personal responsibility. We have the power to shape our own lives, and no one else should dictate how we should live.

Yet, there are situations where people try to exert control over our lives, from the choices we make to the paths we take.

If someone in your life is constantly trying to control your decisions or actions, it’s not only disrespectful but also a violation of your basic rights as an individual.

By tolerating this behavior, you’re relinquishing your personal power and allowing someone else to steer the wheel of your life. It’s a sign that you need to reclaim your autonomy, respect yourself more and put your needs first.

5) They frequently break promises

Trust is a fragile thing. Once broken, it’s hard to rebuild. I’ve been in situations where promises were made only to be broken time and again. It hurts, not just because you were let down, but also because it shows a lack of respect for your feelings and expectations.

If someone in your life frequently breaks their promises to you, it’s a clear indication that they don’t value your relationship as much as you do.

Tolerating this behavior sends a message that you’re okay with being let down and disrespected. It’s high time to prioritize your feelings and respect yourself enough to demand the same from others.

6) They’re overly nice to you

This might seem rather odd, but having someone being overly nice to you can sometimes be a red flag.

Why’s that? Because it could mean they’re trying to manipulate you or win your favor for their own gain. This is not genuine kindness and respect, rather it’s a form of deception.

Now, this doesn’t mean you should be suspicious of every nice gesture. But if someone’s niceness seems excessive or out of character, it might be a sign they’re not respecting you as an individual, but seeing you as a means to an end.

By tolerating this behavior, you’re allowing yourself to be manipulated. It’s a sign that you need to stand up for yourself and demand genuine respect.

7) They take more than they give

Relationships should be about balance. There’s a give and take that keeps things fair and mutual. But if you find yourself in a situation where someone is constantly taking from you – be it your time, energy, or resources – without giving anything back, it’s a clear sign of disrespect.

They’re treating you like a resource rather than a person, and by tolerating this behavior, you’re allowing them to exploit your generosity and kindness.

This imbalance is a clear sign that you need to start putting yourself first. Don’t be afraid to demand equal treatment and respect in your relationships. You deserve it.

8) They dismiss your feelings

At the heart of self-respect is the acknowledgment and validation of our feelings. If someone in your life consistently dismisses your feelings, it’s the ultimate sign of disrespect.

Your feelings are valid. They matter. You matter. You deserve to be heard and understood. If someone can’t show you that basic level of respect, they don’t deserve a place in your life.

Final thought: The power of self-respect

Our behavior towards others often mirrors how we treat ourselves. If we tolerate disrespectful behaviors from others, it’s a clear sign that we don’t hold ourselves in high enough regard.

Self-respect is more than just an idea – it’s a powerful force that shapes our relationships, our decisions, and our overall life experience.

When we respect ourselves, we set the standard for how others should treat us. We assert our right to be treated with kindness, dignity, and fairness.

So if you’re tolerating any of these 8 behaviors from people in your life, take it as a sign that you need to put yourself first. Start by respecting yourself more. You’ll be amazed at how this simple shift can transform your relationships and your life.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.