10 things confident people never do in public, no matter how comfortable they feel

by Lachlan Brown | August 22, 2025, 2:06 pm

Being confident isn’t about being perfect or showing off.

True confidence is about being comfortable with who you are, but also knowing your limits. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and those who truly embody confidence know not to cross it, irrespective of how comfortable they feel.

Confident people understand that certain behaviours should be avoided in public because they can undermine their image, offering a glimpse into their insecurities rather than their strengths.

So, what are these behaviours that confident people never do in public? Here’s an insight into the 10 things that confident folks consciously avoid, ensuring they maintain their poise, dignity and respectability.

Get ready to take some notes, because understanding what NOT to do can often be as important as knowing what TO do.

1) Publicly belittle others

There’s a common misconception that confident people are those who are loud and tend to dominate conversations.

The reality is far from it.

True confidence is not about making others feel small, it’s about uplifting them. Confident people realise that they don’t need to put others down in order to shine.

Think about the most confident person you know. Chances are, they make you feel good about yourself, not inferior or belittled.

In public settings, confident people never resort to belittling others or making derogatory comments, no matter how comfortable they feel. They understand that this behaviour reflects poorly on them and can damage their reputation, not to mention it’s just plain wrong.

2) Over-apologise

One thing I’ve noticed is that confident people rarely over-apologise. In fact, I’ve learned this lesson the hard way myself.

A few years ago, I found myself apologizing all the time, for every little thing – whether it was for my ideas in a team meeting or for taking a little extra time to finish a task. I thought it was the polite thing to do.

But then, a mentor of mine pulled me aside and told me that by constantly saying sorry, even when it wasn’t necessary, I was undermining my own credibility.

That was a wake-up call. I realised that confident people don’t overdo apologies. They do apologise when they make errors or cause inconveniences, but they don’t use “sorry” as a filler word or as a means to seek validation.

So now, I’ve made a conscious effort to only apologise when it’s truly warranted. This shift has made me come across as more self-assured and poised in public situations.

3) Avoid taking risks

Confident people are often seen as fearless. They are not afraid to step out of their comfort zone and take on new challenges.

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality, there’s a direct link between confidence and risk-taking behaviour.

The research found that people who exhibit high levels of confidence are more likely to engage in risk-taking activities, compared to those with lower confidence levels.

In public settings, you won’t see confident people shying away from new experiences or opportunities.

They won’t avoid a challenging question or dodge a difficult task. Instead, they will embrace these situations as opportunities to learn and grow.

4) Seek constant validation

Confident people have a robust sense of self-worth. They don’t rely on others to validate their worth, abilities, or decisions.

In public spaces, they don’t seek constant approval or confirmation from others. They trust their judgment and are comfortable with their decisions, even if they turn out to be wrong. They see these instances as opportunities for learning rather than failures.

Confident people also realize that it’s impossible to please everyone. Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations can be exhausting and detrimental to one’s self-esteem.

So, the next time you’re in a public setting, remember that you don’t need the approval of others to confirm your self-worth. It’s your life, your decisions, and ultimately, your happiness at stake. Be confident in who you are and what you stand for.

5) Dominate conversations

Confident people value communication. They understand that communication isn’t just about expressing their own ideas, but also about listening to what others have to say.

In public settings, they don’t feel the need to dominate every conversation or turn every discussion towards themselves. They are comfortable with silence and are patient listeners.

They show genuine interest in what others have to say and appreciate the diversity of thoughts and ideas.

Communication is a two-way street. By dominating a conversation, you’re not only disrespecting the other person’s views but also missing out on learning something new. So next time you’re in a discussion, try to listen more than you speak.

You might be surprised at what you can learn from others.

6) Hide their true selves

Confidence is about being true to who you are. It’s about embracing your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses.

In public, you won’t see confident people putting up a facade or trying to fit into a mold that isn’t them. They are comfortable with who they are and aren’t afraid to show it.

They understand that everyone is unique, and that’s what makes us special. They don’t feel the need to compare themselves with others or to pretend to be someone they’re not.

It can be scary to show your true self, especially in a public setting. But remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to be you.

Your uniqueness is what makes you special. Don’t hide it. Embrace it. Because the world needs more of who you truly are.

7) Shy away from asking for help

Asking for help can sometimes be seen as a sign of weakness. But in reality, it’s a sign of strength and confidence.

I remember a time when I was working on a major project at work. I was determined to handle everything on my own, to prove that I could do it. But as the deadline approached, I realised that I was in over my head.

Swallowing my pride, I reached out to my colleagues for help. To my surprise, they were more than willing to lend a hand. That project turned out to be one of the best we had ever done, and it wouldn’t have been possible without their help.

Confident people aren’t afraid to ask for help when they need it. They know that no one can have all the answers, and they aren’t ashamed to admit it. They see asking for help not as a weakness, but as an opportunity to learn and grow.

8) Always agree with others

You might think that to appear confident, you should always have the same opinion as the majority. But actually, it’s quite the opposite.

Confident people are not afraid to voice their own opinions, even if they differ from the crowd. They don’t feel the need to agree with others just for the sake of avoiding conflict or keeping the peace.

In public situations, they are comfortable articulating their thoughts and perspectives, even if it means standing alone. This doesn’t mean they are confrontational. They simply understand the value of diversity in thoughts and ideas.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where your opinion differs from the crowd, don’t be afraid to voice it. After all, it’s your unique perspective that adds value to any discussion.

9) Focus on their past mistakes

We have all made mistakes – they’re a natural part of life and growth. But confident people don’t let their past mistakes define them.

They understand that dwelling on past errors can be paralyzing. It can prevent us from taking risks and moving forward. Instead, they focus on learning from these experiences and using them to improve.

In public, confident people don’t bring up their past mistakes to seek sympathy or validation. They talk about them as learnings and experiences that have helped shape who they are today.

So, if you’ve made a mistake, remember – it’s not a life sentence. It’s just a stepping stone on your path to becoming a better version of yourself. Learn from it, let go, and move forward with confidence.

10) Fear criticism

Criticism is a part of life. Everyone faces it at some point or the other. But confident people don’t fear it; they embrace it.

They understand that criticism, when constructive, can be a valuable tool for personal growth. It gives them a different perspective and an opportunity to improve.

In public, they are open to feedback and don’t get defensive when criticized. They listen, analyze, and if valid, take steps to improve.

So, don’t fear criticism. Instead, see it as valuable feedback that can help you grow and become even better.

Final thoughts: Confidence is a journey, not a destination

Confidence is more than just a feeling; it’s a way of life. It’s about knowing your worth, believing in yourself, and embracing your individuality.

Remember that confident people aren’t born; they are made. It’s a journey of self-discovery, learning, and growth. It’s about embracing your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses without letting them define you.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

As you navigate through life, remember that it’s okay to be you. Don’t hide your true self or pretend to be someone you’re not. Embrace your uniqueness and shine your light brightly.

Because the world needs more of who you truly are.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.