7 ways emotionally immature men manipulate conversations

by Lachlan Brown | May 5, 2026, 9:48 am

We all know that communication is a two-way street.

But sometimes, it feels more like a one-sided game, especially when dealing with emotionally immature men.

They have a knack for turning the tables in their favour, often using manipulative tactics to dominate conversations.

It’s not about healthy dialogue but about getting their way, regardless of what you might think or feel.

As someone who’s spent a lot of time studying psychology, I’ve identified seven common techniques these men use to manipulate conversations.

Understanding these can help you to recognise and counteract them, ensuring your voice is heard.

Let’s dig deeper into this intriguing, yet disconcerting world of conversation manipulation.

1) The blame game

One of the most common tactics used by emotionally immature men is shifting blame onto others.

It’s an age-old trick. When confronted with their own shortcomings or mistakes, rather than owning up, they quickly deflect the attention onto someone else.

This way, they avoid taking responsibility and instead, paint themselves as the victim.

The famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

This quote rings true in this scenario. These men are often irritated by others because it mirrors their own inadequacies.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation where blame is being shifted onto you, pause and consider.

It might not be about you at all, but a reflection of their emotional immaturity.

2) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that emotionally immature men often use. I’ve personally experienced this in a past relationship.

Here’s what happened: My partner at the time would frequently dismiss my feelings or opinions, claiming I was ‘overreacting’ or ‘misremembering’ things.

It got to the point where I began doubting my own perceptions and memory.

This behavior is a classic example of gaslighting, where an individual manipulates someone into questioning their own sanity or reality.

Identifying gaslighting can be challenging, especially when you’re in the thick of it.

But by understanding this manipulative tactic, you can take steps to stand your ground and trust your own perceptions.

3) Emotional blackmail

Ever been in a situation where someone made you feel guilty for not agreeing with them or doing what they wanted?

That’s emotional blackmail, a manipulative tactic often used by emotionally immature men.

They use your feelings against you to get what they want, making you feel guilty, obligated, or even fearful.

It’s a power play, designed to make you submit to their demands.

Recognizing emotional blackmail when it happens is essential. It helps you to assert your boundaries and stop the cycle of manipulation.

Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to say no.

4) Playing the victim

Another common manipulation tactic is playing the victim. Emotionally immature men often resort to this strategy when they feel cornered or if things don’t go their way.

For instance, they might exaggerate a situation to gain sympathy or use it as an excuse to justify their inappropriate behavior.

They make themselves out to be the ‘wronged party’, diverting attention from their own actions and steering the conversation in their favor.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who consistently see themselves as victims tend to exhibit selfish behaviours because they prioritize their own needs over others.

By recognizing this tactic, you can ensure that conversations remain balanced and focused on the issue at hand rather than getting side-tracked by sob stories.

5) Twisting the truth

You know, I’ve often noticed that emotionally immature men have a knack for bending the truth.

They’ll twist facts and situations to suit their narratives, often leaving you confused and questioning your own understanding.

It’s a sly way of gaining control over the conversation and keeping you off balance.

After all, it’s hard to fight against something when you’re not even sure what the truth is anymore.

As Dale Carnegie wisely said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”

Recognizing when someone is twisting the truth can be tough, but it’s crucial to maintaining your sanity and perspective in these conversations.

Trust in your knowledge and don’t be afraid to question inconsistencies.

6) Passive-aggressiveness

Surprisingly, passivity can be a form of manipulation too.

Emotionally immature men often resort to passive-aggressive behaviours to avoid direct confrontation while still expressing their dissatisfaction or anger.

Take silent treatment for example. It’s a way of expressing disapproval or anger without saying a word.

It can leave you feeling anxious, guilty, and eager to resolve whatever issue they’re not talking about.

It’s crucial to recognize passive-aggressiveness for what it is – a form of manipulation.

Address the behaviour directly and encourage open, honest communication instead.

7) Controlling through fear

One of the more disconcerting manipulation tactics is controlling through fear.

Emotionally immature men may use threats or intimidating behaviour to dominate conversations and get their way.

Renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “The fact is that people are good, if only their fundamental wishes are satisfied, their wish for affection and security.”

This tactic preys on the basic human need for security, making it particularly effective and damaging.

Recognising this behaviour is the first step in reclaiming control of the conversation.

Everyone has the right to feel safe and secure during any discussion.

Final reflections

The complexities of human interactions can often leave us feeling bewildered, particularly when dealing with emotionally immature individuals.

Understanding the manipulative tactics often employed by such individuals is not just about gaining knowledge, it’s about empowering ourselves to navigate these conversations more effectively.

Recognizing these behaviors for what they are – attempts to control and dominate – can help us maintain our equilibrium in the face of such manipulation.

It’s about standing firm, trusting our instincts, and refusing to be swayed by underhanded tactics.

As we journey through life and its myriad conversations, remember that every interaction offers an opportunity for growth, understanding, and affirmation of our self-worth.

No one has the right to manipulate or control our thoughts, feelings, or decisions.

Know your worth. Stand your ground. Your voice matters.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.