9 signs other people has figured out adulthood while you’re still pretending

by Lachlan Brown | May 5, 2026, 9:38 pm

Adulthood isn’t a destination, it’s a journey; sometimes, it feels like everyone else has got the roadmap while you’re stuck with a compass that only points to uncertainty.

There are moments when it seems like all your friends and colleagues have adulting down to an art, like managing their careers, relationships, and finances with ease.

Meanwhile, you’re left wondering if you missed the memo.

But, let me tell you a secret: Nobody has it all figured out, and some are just better at pretending than others.

In this article, I’ll reveal the nine signs that might make you think everyone else has adulthood sorted while you’re still playing catch-up.

Remember, we’re all just trying to navigate this crazy thing called life.

Buckle up your seatbelts, folks, it’s time to dive into the messy, beautiful chaos of growing up.

1) They’re talking about investments and you’re still figuring out your budget

When it comes to finances, it often feels like everyone’s on top of their game, doesn’t it?

They’re discussing stocks and bonds, real estate investments and retirement funds, while you’re still trying to figure out how to balance your monthly budget.

The truth is, financial literacy isn’t something we’re born with. It’s a skill that needs to be learned and practiced.

Just because you’re not there yet doesn’t mean you’re behind.

It’s okay if you’re still learning how to manage your money. Remember, everyone has their own pace.

Don’t let the pressure make you feel inadequate or rushed. Adulthood isn’t a race, but a journey of continuous learning and growth.

2) They’re buying properties, but you’re still renting

Let’s have a little chat about housing: It seems like every time I scroll through my social media feeds, someone else is celebrating their new house purchase.

There they are, grinning in front of their new front door, keys in hand, while I’m still trying to figure out how to get my rental deposit back.

Every time, it stings just a little because there’s this societal expectation that buying a house is a significant milestone in adulthood and, when you haven’t reached that milestone, it’s easy to feel left behind.

Here’s the thing: Buying a home isn’t the only measure of success and renting has its own advantages too, like flexibility and less financial responsibility.

Everyone’s path is different, and it’s okay if yours doesn’t fit the traditional narrative.

3) They’re nailing the work-life balance, while you’re still burning the midnight oil

It’s no secret that finding a healthy work-life balance can feel like an uphill battle.

Some colleagues are clocking out on time, taking vacations, and enjoying their weekends, while you’re stuck in the office pulling all-nighters.

Here’s something to consider: A Stanford study found that productivity per hour declines sharply when a person works more than 50 hours a week. By the time you hit the 55-hour mark, productivity drops so much that putting in any more hours is pointless.

If you’re wearing your overworked status like a badge of honour, it might be time to reassess.

4) They’re polishing their social media profiles, while yours is still a hot mess

In the age of Instagram and LinkedIn, it can feel like everyone else’s life is a carefully curated exhibition.

There they are, posting professional headshots, sharing achievements, and showcasing exotic vacations.

Meanwhile, your profile feels like a scrapbook of random moments, awkward selfies and blurry pet pictures.

Remember, social media is a highlight reel and it’s not an accurate reflection of someone’s life, but a collection of their best moments.

Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes with their showreel because adulthood is about authenticity and being comfortable with who you are—both online and off.

5) They’re setting career goals, while you’re still exploring options

Career stability can often seem like a defining characteristic of adulthood.

You see your peers climbing the corporate ladder, bagging promotions and setting long-term goals.

Meanwhile, you’re still trying out different roles, switching industries, or contemplating going back to school.

Look, it’s okay to explore ans it’s okay to not have it all figured out yet.

The world of work is changing rapidly, and it’s estimated that a significant percentage of current students will end up in jobs that don’t even exist yet.

Don’t feel pressured to stick to one path. Adulthood is about finding what works for you, even if it means taking the road less travelled.

6) They’re starting families, while you’re still finding yourself

It can be a tough pill to swallow when your friends start having kids and you’re still trying to figure out your own life; it might seem like they’ve got everything sorted, nestled into their roles as parents, while you’re still grappling with who you are and what you want.

Everyone has their own timeline, their own journey. Just because they’ve chosen to start a family doesn’t mean you’re lagging behind if you haven’t.

Adulthood isn’t a checklist of milestones to tick off. It’s about growth, self-discovery, and finding your own path.

Take your time because there’s no rush to figure it all out. There’s beauty in the journey and in the person you’re becoming along the way.

7) They’re confident in their decisions, while you’re still second-guessing everything

Decision-making can feel like one big minefield.

One moment, you’re on top of the world, convinced that you’ve made the right choice; the next, you’re riddled with doubt, questioning every step you’ve taken.

I remember feeling completely overwhelmed when I had to choose between two job offers.

Both were great opportunities, but in different ways. I spent days agonizing over the decision, losing sleep and appetite.

Here’s what I’ve learned: It’s okay to question yourself and it’s okay to not always know the right answer.

Truth is, there rarely is a single “right” answer because what matters is that you make a decision and then make it right by committing to it.

8) They’re maintaining lifelong friendships, while you’re still struggling with new ones

Building and maintaining friendships seems to come naturally to some people.

You see them hanging out with friends they’ve known since kindergarten, effortlessly juggling old and new relationships. Meanwhile, you’re finding it hard to make new connections or keep up with existing ones.

Here’s something to consider: As we grow older, our social circles tend to shrink.

It’s a natural part of life as our priorities shift, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Quality truly does trump quantity when it comes to friendships. Don’t beat yourself up if your social circle isn’t as expansive or tight-knit as others’.

Adulthood is about forming meaningful relationships, not collecting a high friend count—it’s about depth, not breadth.

9) They seem to have their life together, while you’re still figuring things out

Here’s the most important thing to remember: Everyone is just winging it.

No one has it all figured out and we’re all stumbling through life, learning as we go.

If you feel like you’re still figuring things out, you’re not alone. Adulthood isn’t a destination; it’s a journey of growth, mistakes, triumphs, and lessons.

Take a deep breath, hold your head high, and keep going—you’re doing just fine.

Embrace your journey: The beauty of figuring it out

Adulthood isn’t a club with an exclusive membership or a destination you reach after ticking off a checklist. It’s a continuous journey of learning, growing, and evolving.

And guess what? There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to it.

As the renowned psychoanalyst Carl Jung once said, “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.”

If you’re feeling like the odd one out, remember this: It’s okay to be figuring things out and it’s okay to not have all the answers.

In fact, it’s in the figuring out where the magic happens.

Whether you’re navigating your finances, exploring career paths, building relationships, or simply trying to understand yourself better—each step is a part of your unique journey.

Embrace your path, with all its twists and turns. After all, life is about embracing the beautiful mess that we are and growing through it.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.