7 outdated boomer behaviors that might be making you an exhausting person to deal with

by Lachlan Brown | July 30, 2025, 2:53 pm

Let’s be honest: every generation leaves behind a trail of habits that age like milk.

Boomers were no exception.

Sure, they gave us a solid work ethic, the moon landing, and classic rock. But some of the social behaviors that were normalized back then? Not exactly what you’d call emotionally intelligent—or sustainable in 2025.

And if you’re still walking around with these habits baked into your personality, people might not be rolling their eyes out loud… but they’re probably doing it in their heads.

Let’s unpack the stuff that might be making you harder to be around than you realize.

1. Talking at people instead of with them

You ever have someone trap you in a conversation that feels more like a lecture than a dialogue?

That’s a classic move from folks who were raised to believe their life experience trumps all.

And to be fair, it made sense in a time when knowledge was more centralized. You couldn’t just Google stuff on your phone while someone talked your ear off.

But now? People don’t want monologues. They want to feel heard, not managed.

I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and it’s mentally draining. You’re nodding along, waiting for a pause that never comes, trying to slip in a word without getting steamrolled.

It’s like trying to merge into traffic where no one’s letting you in.

Here’s a wild idea: ask questions. Let other people finish their sentences. Realize that just because someone’s younger doesn’t mean they don’t have something valuable to say.

Conversations should be a two-way street—not a dead-end TED Talk.

2. Equating busyness with importance

You know what I’m talking about.

The constant humblebrag: “I’ve been swamped.” “Haven’t had a moment to breathe.” “Work’s just been crazy.”

For boomers, busyness was a badge of honor. If you weren’t burning the candle at both ends, were you even trying?

But today, that mindset is looking increasingly outdated. In fact, a lot of us are waking up to the idea that how busy you are says more about your boundaries than your value.

I’ve been there. I used to fill my calendar to the brim, convincing myself I was being productive when in reality, I was avoiding the discomfort of stillness. It’s easier to say “I’m busy” than “I’m feeling stuck” or “I’m not sure what I want.”

The truth? Being busy isn’t the same as being fulfilled. Constant motion doesn’t equal progress. And for the people around you, it can be exhausting to watch you crash and burn for the hundredth time, refusing to take a breath.

Slow down. No one’s giving out trophies for burnout.

3. Avoiding emotions like they’re contagious

If you grew up hearing “boys don’t cry” or “keep it to yourself,” this one might sting a bit.

Boomers were raised in an emotional drought. Vulnerability was considered weakness, and mental health wasn’t exactly dinner-table conversation.

But that emotional repression didn’t disappear. It turned into sarcasm, passive-aggressiveness, or sudden explosions over things like mismatched socks or someone using the “wrong” Tupperware lid.

Here’s the thing: no one’s expecting you to turn into a therapy meme account. But if you’re emotionally unavailable, dismissive, or constantly dodging anything that smells like vulnerability, it wears people down.

Relationships thrive on emotional honesty. If you keep yours locked in a vault, don’t be surprised if people stop trying to connect.

Let your guard down. You don’t have to spill everything—but try being real. It’s a relief—for you and everyone else.

4. Believing respect is something you’re owed, not earned

This one still pops up all the time.

There’s a deeply ingrained belief in boomer culture that respect is tied to age, title, or status. Like the older you get, the more deference people automatically owe you.

But the world has changed.

Now, people respect those who treat them well, who listen, who admit when they’re wrong. Not just those who’ve been in the game the longest.

Think about it. How do you feel when someone demands respect without showing any in return? It feels hollow, right? Maybe even a little gross.

Respect is earned through consistency, integrity, and humility—not seniority.

If you’re constantly expecting others to defer to you just because you’ve “been there, done that,” you might be exhausting people who are just trying to have a mutual exchange of ideas.

Start by asking yourself: do I offer the kind of respect I want to receive? If the answer’s no, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

5. Taking pride in never asking for help

Let’s talk about self-reliance.

Boomers were taught to pull themselves up by their bootstraps—even if the boots were worn down and full of holes.

They didn’t ask for help because they didn’t want to be a burden. Or worse, appear weak.

And while there’s a certain dignity in being self-sufficient, there’s also a danger in pushing people away when they’re trying to support you.

I know people who won’t go to therapy, won’t see a doctor, won’t even let someone carry a grocery bag for them because they’re clinging to this rugged individualism like it’s their identity.

But we’re not meant to do life alone. And constantly refusing help doesn’t make you noble—it makes relationships harder.

It creates a weird power dynamic where you’re always the “giver,” never the receiver. That’s not connection. That’s control.

Let others show up for you. It’s not weakness—it’s trust.

6. Thinking boundaries are a personal attack

Here’s one I see all the time, especially in family dynamics.

You try to set a boundary—something basic, like “I’m not available after 9 p.m.” or “I need space right now”—and it’s met with offense, guilt trips, or emotional manipulation.

Boomers often interpret boundaries as rejection, because they weren’t taught how to set or respect them growing up.

They learned to sacrifice, to endure, to keep the peace at any cost. So when someone draws a line, it feels unfamiliar… and threatening.

Research suggests that many Boomers mistake healthy boundaries—like saying no or needing space—as personal disrespect rather than self-care. This generational blind spot stems from norms rooted in open-door family dynamics and unspoken loyalty expectations.

But boundaries aren’t walls. They’re fences with gates. They say, “This is how we can stay connected in a way that feels healthy.”

If you find yourself getting angry or hurt when someone tells you “no,” that’s a sign it’s worth unpacking.

You don’t have to love someone’s boundaries. But respecting them? That’s the bare minimum.

7. Clinging to certainty like a life raft

Boomers grew up in a world that felt more black and white.

You picked a career and stuck with it. You trusted the experts. You didn’t question the rules.

Certainty gave a sense of safety—and changing your mind could be seen as weak, wishy-washy, or disloyal.

But we’re not living in that world anymore. Life is way more complex, fluid, and, let’s be real—uncertain.

So if you’re the kind of person who always needs to be right, who shuts down new ideas, who gets defensive when challenged—you’re not being wise. You’re being rigid.

And rigidity? It’s exhausting to deal with.

No one expects you to know everything. In fact, admitting you don’t know something is one of the most underrated signs of strength.

Curiosity keeps you open. Humility keeps you grounded. And flexibility? It keeps people from silently dreading conversations with you.

Final words

Look—I’m not here to bash boomers or start a generational war.

Most of these behaviors didn’t start out malicious. They were survival strategies for a different time.

But if you’re still clinging to them now? They might be making your relationships harder, your conversations more frustrating, and your presence—let’s just say—a little heavy.

The good news? You don’t need to overhaul your personality. You just need to pay attention.

Start asking more than you preach. Listen with the intention to understand, not respond. Let people help you. Let them say “no” without punishment. Let go of needing to always be right.

If you can do that, you won’t just be easier to be around—you’ll be someone people want to be around.

And in a world full of noise and burnout, that’s a quiet kind of power worth cultivating.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.