I adore my Boomer grandparents, but these 7 parenting opinions they share make my eyes roll

My grandparents mean well.

They raised kids in a completely different era, and honestly, they did what they thought was best with the knowledge they had.

But whenever parenting comes up in conversation, whether it’s about my cousins’ kids or just general observations about “kids these days”, I find myself nodding politely while internally screaming.

The generational gap in parenting philosophies is real.

And while I respect where they’re coming from, some of their opinions feel wildly outdated in 2025.

Here are seven parenting beliefs my Boomer grandparents share that make me want to roll my eyes into another dimension.

1. “Kids need to toughen up and stop being so sensitive”

This one comes up constantly.

A child cries because they’re overwhelmed? “They’re too soft.”

A kid expresses that something hurt their feelings? “Back in our day, we just dealt with it.”

Here’s what bothers me about this perspective: emotional intelligence isn’t weakness.

Teaching children to identify and express their feelings doesn’t make them fragile, it makes them self-aware.

We now understand that suppressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear.

It just teaches kids to bottle things up until they explode later in life, usually in their relationships or through anxiety and depression.

Telling a generation of children to “toughen up” is exactly how we ended up with so many adults who can’t communicate their needs or handle conflict in healthy ways.

2. “A little smack never hurt anyone”

Physical discipline is where I draw a hard line.

My grandparents genuinely believe that spanking is an effective parenting tool, and they don’t understand why “everyone’s so against it now.”

The research is clear: hitting children doesn’t teach them right from wrong.

It teaches them that bigger people can use physical force to get what they want.

It damages trust, increases aggression, and doesn’t actually improve behavior long-term.

I get that they were raised this way and they raised their kids this way.

But just because something was normalized doesn’t mean it was right.

We know better now, so we should do better.

3. “Children should always respect their elders, no matter what”

Respect is another hot topic.

In my grandparents’ view, children owe adults automatic respect simply because they’re older.

No questions asked.

No boundaries needed.

I fundamentally disagree with this.

Respect should be mutual, not a one-way street based on age.

Teaching kids to blindly obey any adult actually puts them at risk, it makes them easier targets for manipulation or abuse because they’ve been conditioned not to question authority figures.

Children should be taught to respect people who treat them with respect.

They should be encouraged to trust their instincts and speak up when something feels wrong, even if that something involves an adult.

Respect is earned, not demanded.

4. “Kids spend too much time on screens, we never had that and we turned out fine”

Yes, I hear this at every family gathering.

Look, I’m not going to pretend that unlimited screen time is ideal.

But the “we didn’t have screens and we turned out fine” argument ignores the fact that we live in a completely different world now.

Technology isn’t going anywhere.

Digital literacy is a crucial skill for the future.

Instead of demonizing screens entirely, the conversation should be about healthy boundaries and intentional use.

My grandparents watched TV for hours as kids, that was their generation’s screen time.

Every generation has had something that older generations worried about: radio, TV, video games, and now smartphones and tablets.

The key is balance, not elimination.

5. “Parents today are too involved, kids need to figure things out on their own”

This opinion usually comes up when discussing how modern parents supervise their kids more closely or advocate for them at school.

“Helicopter parenting” is the term they throw around.

And sure, there’s a valid conversation to be had about giving children independence and letting them develop problem-solving skills.

But the world has changed.

The job market is more competitive.

Mental health awareness has increased.

Parents aren’t hovering because they’re controlling, many are involved because they understand that support and guidance matter.

There’s a difference between doing everything for your child and being present in their life.

My grandparents grew up in neighborhoods where kids roamed freely until dark, and that worked for them.

But cities are more crowded now, traffic is worse, and societal anxieties have shifted.

Context matters.

6. “All this therapy talk is nonsense, people just need to get over things”

Mental health stigma runs deep with the Boomer generation.

Therapy is seen as something only “crazy people” need, and children going to therapy? That’s apparently a sign of weak parenting.

This mindset is harmful.

Therapy isn’t a last resort for people who’ve failed at life, it’s a tool for processing experiences, building coping mechanisms, and developing emotional resilience.

Normalizing mental health support for children means they grow up understanding that asking for help is strength, not weakness.

The “just get over it” approach has left countless people struggling in silence, convinced that needing support means there’s something fundamentally wrong.

I recently came across a video that breaks down why emotional connection with teenagers matters so much for their mental health, and how their brains are literally being rewired during adolescence.

It explains the science behind why teens react the way they do, and offers practical ways to communicate with them that actually work.

If you’re navigating this stage with your own kids, or just curious about what’s really happening in a teenage brain, it’s worth watching.

7. “Kids these days have it too easy, they don’t know what real struggle is”

This is the classic generational complaint, isn’t it?

Every older generation thinks the younger one has it easier.

My grandparents talk about walking to school in harsh weather, working from a young age, and dealing with hardships that kids today can’t imagine.

And yes, many aspects of modern life are more comfortable.

But struggle looks different now.

Kids today face academic pressure that’s more intense than ever.

Social media creates a constant comparison trap that previous generations never had to navigate.

Climate anxiety is real.

The cost of education and housing has skyrocketed in ways that make traditional markers of adulthood, like buying a home, feel impossible for many young people.

Just because hardship has evolved doesn’t mean it’s disappeared.

Dismissing the challenges of younger generations because they’re different from your own experiences is shortsighted.

Final thoughts

I want to be clear: I don’t think my grandparents are bad people for holding these views.

They raised their children with the beliefs that made sense in their time, in their context.

But parenting knowledge has evolved.

Child psychology research has given us insights that previous generations simply didn’t have access to.

The most loving thing we can do is adapt our approach based on what we now know to be true.

We don’t parent in a vacuum, culture, science, and societal understanding all shift over time.

What worked in the 1960s doesn’t necessarily work in 2025, and that’s okay.

Respecting our elders doesn’t mean accepting every opinion they have as gospel.

It means listening, understanding where they’re coming from, and then making informed decisions based on current knowledge.

Generational differences in parenting aren’t going away.

But maybe the goal isn’t to convince anyone that their way was wrong, it’s to recognize that we’re all doing our best with the information we have.

And when we know better, we do better.