You know you carry rare strength if these 7 struggles shaped you into who you are today

by Lachlan Brown | September 9, 2025, 3:48 pm

Life doesn’t hand out strength for free. It usually arrives wrapped in discomfort, challenges, and struggles that feel unbearable in the moment.

But here’s the thing: some people come out of those struggles not just surviving, but stronger, sharper, and more grounded. They’re rare because they’ve been through fire, and instead of crumbling, they’ve been reshaped into something new.

If you’ve faced the following struggles and they’ve shaped you into who you are today, then you carry a strength most people will never know.

Let’s dive in.

1. Growing up feeling different

Did you ever feel like you didn’t quite belong? Maybe you were the odd one out in school, the kid who didn’t fit neatly into the group.

It hurts when you’re young. Kids crave belonging, and when you don’t get it, it can feel like something is wrong with you. But as painful as it is, that outsider perspective often plants the seeds of rare strength.

When you’re on the outside looking in, you learn to observe. You notice details others miss. You understand people without necessarily having to be part of their crowd. That quiet awareness can grow into intuition, independence, and creativity.

In Eastern philosophy, detachment is often described as the ability to see without clinging. Growing up different can give you that naturally. Instead of being glued to every trend or desperate for approval, you learn to trust your inner compass.

And here’s the kicker: the very thing that made you feel left out as a kid may be the thing that makes you magnetic as an adult. Your uniqueness becomes your edge.

2. Facing rejection (again and again)

Rejection stings. It doesn’t matter how many times it happens, that initial “no” always hits like a punch in the gut.

But if you’ve faced rejection enough, you’ve probably discovered something profound: it loses its power over you. What once felt unbearable starts to feel like feedback, or even fuel.

I remember in my early twenties, applying for dozens of jobs I thought I was qualified for. Each rejection email chipped away at my confidence.

But eventually, I realized something—they weren’t rejecting me, they were rejecting a fit. And often, it wasn’t even personal.

That shift freed me. Instead of seeing rejection as the end, I began to see it as redirection.

Every closed door funneled me toward creating my own path through writing and entrepreneurship. Without rejection, I might never have started Hack Spirit.

Rejection teaches resilience, sure—but it also teaches humility. It strips away ego and forces you to adapt. That kind of adaptability is a rare kind of strength, because it means you’re not easily broken by life’s inevitable “no’s.”

3. Living with anxiety or inner chaos

Anxiety is invisible to most people, but if you’ve lived with it, you know how heavy it can be. The constant overthinking, the racing heart, the way it convinces you that something terrible is always around the corner.

Living with anxiety forces you to develop coping strategies. It teaches you patience with yourself, and often, compassion for others.

Because when you know what it feels like to fight an unseen battle, you can’t help but be softer with people who are struggling too.

Rudá Iandê, in his book Laughing in the Face of Chaos, wrote: “Anxiety is not merely a problem to be solved but a gateway to a richer, more real way of being.” That line completely reframed my own relationship with anxiety.

I stopped trying to get rid of it, and started asking: what is this trying to tell me? More often than not, anxiety was pointing out where I was out of alignment.

Maybe I was saying “yes” when I should’ve said “no.” Maybe I was ignoring my body’s need for rest.

Strength isn’t just about conquering fear. Sometimes it’s about sitting with it, listening to it, and learning from it. If you’ve faced your inner chaos and come out with more self-awareness, that’s rare resilience.

4. Struggling financially

Few struggles cut as deep as money stress. It’s not just about bills—it’s about safety, dignity, and even identity. When you’re broke, it feels like the whole world is stacked against you.

I’ve been there—scraping coins together for rent, choosing the cheapest food in the store, saying no to social events because I couldn’t afford them.

At the time, I felt embarrassed. But looking back, those years taught me more than any course or degree could.

When you’ve been financially strapped, you learn resourcefulness. You figure out how to stretch what you have. You learn creativity, problem-solving, and perseverance.

And maybe most importantly, you learn gratitude. Once you’ve known the weight of financial struggle, you don’t take stability or small luxuries for granted.

That’s not weakness—it’s power. Because it keeps you grounded when others lose perspective.

Strength forged in financial struggle isn’t flashy. It’s steady, practical, and unshakable.

5. Losing someone you love

Grief is brutal. It rips away your sense of normal and leaves you standing in the rubble of what used to be.

Losing someone close isn’t something you ever “get over.” But if you’ve lived through it, you know that grief reshapes you. It forces you to face the reality of impermanence—that everything and everyone is temporary.

In Buddhism, impermanence is one of the three marks of existence. We all know it intellectually, but loss makes it real.

And once you’ve internalized that, you stop wasting time on what doesn’t matter. You stop holding grudges so tightly. You hug the people you love a little longer.

That’s a strength not everyone develops. It’s not about toughness—it’s about tenderness. Grief softens you, but it also makes you resilient. You know the worst can happen, and yet you also know you can keep going.

That combination—softness and resilience—is rare. It’s the strength of someone who has been broken and rebuilt.

6. Fighting with your own identity

Who am I, really?

It’s a question many avoid because it’s uncomfortable. Wrestling with your identity can feel like tearing yourself apart.

Society, culture, even family often have expectations for who you should be. Going against that current takes courage.

But if you’ve fought for your identity—whether it’s about career, beliefs, lifestyle, or something deeper—you’ve cultivated authenticity.

One of the most powerful lines from Rudá’s book says: “You have both the right and responsibility to explore and try until you know yourself deeply.” That hit me hard. It reminded me that identity isn’t fixed—it’s discovered.

And the process isn’t clean. It’s trial and error, masks you wear and discard, truths you test until they stick.

But when you come out of that struggle knowing who you are—and owning it—you carry a strength that nothing external can shake.

People who’ve fought for their identity tend to have this grounded presence. They don’t crumble under criticism because they’re anchored in their truth. That’s rare strength.

7. Starting over from scratch

Few things test you like starting over. Maybe it was leaving a toxic relationship, getting laid off, or moving somewhere new with no plan.

The ground disappears beneath you, and suddenly you’re rebuilding from zero. It’s terrifying—but it’s also transformative.

When you start over, you discover that the things you thought defined you—your job, your relationships, your stability—aren’t actually who you are. You find out what’s left when everything else falls away.

The first time I started over, it felt like failure. But with hindsight, I see it as one of the most empowering experiences of my life. Because once you’ve rebuilt once, you know you can always do it again.

That’s why people who’ve started from scratch carry a quiet confidence. They’re not cocky, but they know they can adapt. They’ve proven to themselves that survival is possible—and more than that, reinvention is possible.

It’s the strength of the phoenix: burned down, but never destroyed.

Final words

Not everyone who faces struggles comes out stronger. Some people get stuck in bitterness, fear, or regret. But if you’ve let these struggles shape you instead of break you, you’re carrying a rare strength that can’t be faked.

It’s not the kind of strength you can flex in a mirror. It’s quieter, deeper. It shows in the way you face uncertainty, the way you treat others, and the way you keep moving forward even when life feels heavy.

So if you’ve been through these struggles and they’ve carved resilience, authenticity, and compassion into your bones—don’t overlook it. That strength is rare, and it’s yours.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.