10 important lessons most people learn too late in life

Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. Often, we learn the most important ones too late.

Hello, it’s me, Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a devoted student of mindfulness and Buddhism. I’ve spent years studying life’s ups and downs, and I’ve come to realize that there are crucial lessons many of us learn only after the fact.

In this piece, I’ll share with you 10 vital insights people tend to grasp when it’s a tad too late. The hope is that by shedding light on these lessons now, you can avoid some unnecessary heartaches and hurdles.

This isn’t about regret or looking back with a sense of loss. It’s about arming you with wisdom for the road ahead.

Let’s dive in.

1) Life is impermanent

One of the most profound lessons in life, and one that often arrives too late, is understanding the impermanence of everything.

In Buddhism, we call this “anicca”. It’s the idea that all things, including the self, are changing and impermanent. It’s a hard pill to swallow, especially for those of us who like to cling to comfort zones, routines, and familiar faces.

But here’s the thing: recognizing life’s impermanence isn’t a cause for despair. It’s actually incredibly liberating. It encourages us to live fully in the present, cherishing each moment before it slips away.

Consider this: If we knew everything was permanent, would we truly appreciate it? Would we take the time to savor a beautiful sunset or a loved one’s smile if we knew they’d be there forever?

Impermanence teaches us not to take anything for granted. It encourages us to embrace change and live mindfully.

And while it can be hard to accept at times, it’s a valuable lesson that can transform our perspective on life. The sooner we grasp this truth, the richer our lives become.

2) Happiness is an inside job

A significant lesson I’ve learned in my journey with mindfulness and Buddhism is that happiness isn’t something we find outside of ourselves. It’s an inside job.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion,” or “I’ll be content when I find the perfect partner.” But the truth is, no external achievement or person can provide lasting happiness. It must come from within.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk and mindfulness expert, once said, “There is no way to happiness – happiness is the way”. This simple yet powerful quote encapsulates a profound wisdom: Happiness isn’t a destination we reach. It’s the path we choose to walk.

It took me a while to fully grasp this concept. For years, I sought happiness in external accomplishments and validations. It was only through mindfulness and self-reflection that I recognized the futility of this pursuit.

Happiness isn’t a byproduct of circumstances but a state of mind we cultivate. It’s about appreciating what we have, right here, right now, and not perpetually seeking something more.

3) It’s okay to say no

As the founder of Hack Spirit and a student of Buddhism, I’ve spent countless hours studying and writing about personal development. But one lesson that really hit home for me is the importance of saying no.

Growing up, I often felt the pressure to please everyone around me. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, so I would stretch myself too thin, juggling commitments and always saying yes even when I wanted to say no.

Over time, this left me drained and stressed. And one fine day, it hit me: saying yes to every request meant saying no to things that truly mattered to me. It meant less time for self-reflection, less time for my mindfulness practices, and less time for my loved ones.

Learning to say no was liberating. It allowed me to prioritize my needs and maintain balance in my life. And contrary to my fears, it didn’t lead to rejection or disapproval. People respected my boundaries and valued my time more.

4) You can’t please everyone

As humans, we’re wired to seek acceptance and approval from others. But a crucial lesson I’ve learned is that no matter what you do, you can’t please everyone.

The famous philosopher Aristotle once said, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” This quote resonated deeply with me. It’s a stark reminder that the only path to avoiding criticism is one of inaction and invisibility – and that’s not a life anyone should aspire to.

In my journey as the founder of Hack Spirit, I’ve faced my fair share of criticism and disapproval. At first, it stung. I questioned my decisions and doubted myself. But over time, I realized that the dissenting voices were just part of the process.

Trying to please everyone is not just exhausting; it’s impossible. You have diverse people with diverse opinions, and it’s impractical to align yourself with all of them.

Instead of striving to be universally liked, focus on being authentic. Stay true to your values and beliefs. Not everyone will agree with you, and that’s okay.

5) Happiness takes work

Throughout my journey with Hack Spirit and my explorations into mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve come to understand that happiness isn’t a passive state that simply happens to us. It’s something we actively cultivate. It takes work.

When I first started my journey into self-improvement, I was seeking a quick fix for my unhappiness. But I quickly realized that lasting happiness isn’t about eliminating all discomfort from our lives. It’s about learning how to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience.

That’s why I highly recommend the insightful book by Life Transition Coach Jeanette Brown, titled “A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World”. The book beautifully illustrates how happiness isn’t a destination but an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth.

In this practical guide, Jeanette offers invaluable tools for navigating life with greater ease and joy. Her advice is both practical and profound, encouraging us to embrace our imperfections and grow through our challenges.

6) Failure isn’t final

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that failure isn’t the end of the road. It’s actually a stepping stone towards success.

In our society, we often view failure as a negative thing. We fear it, avoid it, and when we do face it, we’re crushed. But in reality, failure is just feedback. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow and improve.

I’ve faced my fair share of failures, both in my personal life and as the founder of Hack Spirit. There were times when things didn’t go as planned, initiatives failed, and I felt like giving up.

But over time, I realized that these failures were actually teaching me valuable lessons. They helped me understand what didn’t work and pushed me to find better solutions.

7) The present moment is all we have

As someone deeply immersed in mindfulness and Buddhism, I’m continually reminded of the importance of being fully present.

It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life, constantly thinking about the past or worrying about the future. I’ve been there myself, living in a state of constant mental chatter, feeling disconnected from the world around me.

Mindfulness has taught me that the present moment is all we truly have. The past is gone, and the future is uncertain. By constantly dwelling on what was or what could be, we miss out on the beauty and joy of what is.

Practicing mindfulness isn’t always easy. It takes patience and persistence. But the rewards are immense. It brings a sense of calm and clarity, helps us enjoy life more fully, and fosters a deeper connection with ourselves and others.

8) Kindness always pays off

One of the most rewarding lessons I’ve learned in life is the power of kindness. Being kind doesn’t just benefit the recipient; it enriches our own lives too.

Mother Teresa once said, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” This quote resonates with me deeply. It’s a gentle reminder that even our smallest acts of kindness can make a big difference.

As the founder of Hack Spirit, I often find myself in situations where I have the power to impact someone’s day positively. And every single time I choose kindness, I am reminded of its transformative power.

Kindness creates a ripple effect. It uplifts others, fosters positivity, and cultivates a sense of community. Plus, it makes us feel good about ourselves too.

9) Vulnerability is strength

One of the most counterintuitive lessons I’ve learned is that vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength.

For the longest time, I used to equate vulnerability with weakness. I thought that showing emotions or admitting that I didn’t have all the answers would make me appear less competent.

But over time, and especially through my journey with Hack Spirit, I’ve come to realize that vulnerability is actually a sign of courage. It takes strength to open up, to show our true selves, and to admit when we need help.

Vulnerability allows us to connect with others on a deeper level. It fosters empathy, understanding, and authenticity. It’s the cornerstone of meaningful relationships.

10) Self-care is not selfish

The final lesson I want to share is one that’s simple yet often overlooked: Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s essential.

We often tend to prioritize the needs of others over our own, thinking it’s selfish to put ourselves first. But in reality, we can’t pour from an empty cup. We need to take care of ourselves before we can effectively take care of others.

This means setting aside time for rest and relaxation, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and engaging in activities that nourish our mind and body. It also means setting boundaries and learning to say no when necessary.

As someone who’s always juggling multiple responsibilities at Hack Spirit, I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard way. But now, I understand the importance of self-care and make it a priority.

Conclusion

Life is a journey filled with lessons. Some of these lessons arrive early, while others may take a bit longer to grasp. But remember, it’s never too late to learn and grow.

From understanding the impermanence of life to recognizing the importance of self-care, these lessons are stepping stones to a more fulfilling and mindful life. They remind us to live authentically, be present, and cherish the simple joys of life.

To further explore these lessons and equip yourself with practical tools for a happier life, I highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s insightful book, “A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World”. It’s an invaluable guide that can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with wisdom and grace.

Life isn’t about avoiding the storm but learning to dance in the rain. So embrace these lessons and let them guide you towards a more mindful and contented life.