If someone displays these 11 behaviors, they’re secretly obsessed with you

“Obsession” is usually a pretty negative word – and for good reason.

People can get obsessed with all kinds of things (including people) – and it definitely isn’t healthy.

But sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with being a little obsessed with someone or something.

Being obsessed with the gym can help you meet your fitness goals quickly.

Obsessing over a topic of interest curates a deeper fascination and a wider perspective.

And being slightly obsessed with a person could be coming from a very innocent place of admiration or affection.

This person may secretly like you. Or they may want to be more like you – like you’re their role model and the way you do everyday things inspires them.

It’s important to keep people’s obsession with you in check. Sometimes it can be cute, endearing, and a sign that someone values having you in their life.

Other times it can be creepy, boundary-crossing, or just downright stalking.

Think someone in your life might be secretly obsessed with you? Check out these 11 behaviors they’ll definitely display.

1) They stare at you when you’re not looking

We’re drawn to the people we’re attracted to. Whether we like this person romantically or platonically, we tend to stare at them.

It might be from across the classroom or in the playground. Or it might be while you’re in a meeting at work or out with a group of friends.

Why? Experts believe that prolonged eye contact releases feelings of attraction. So it makes sense that we look at people we’re attracted to for longer.

When someone always makes eye contact with you, they like you and aren’t afraid to show it.

But when someone hides their staring – averting their gaze when you look at them or stares when they think you’re not looking – they’re secretly a little obsessed!

2) They look at you in a group when they laugh

What happens when you’re with this person and several others – and someone cracks a joke? Does this person look at you while they laugh? Do you look at them?

Studies have found that when a group of people laugh, each person instinctively looks at the person they feel closest to.

So if someone is always looking at you when they laugh, it’s a sign they like you (even if they don’t overtly know it yet).

3) They message you constantly

When someone adores your company, they want to talk to you all the time.

They don’t play the waiting game or see how long you can go before you message them. They just message you whenever they want to chat with you.

And, when they’re secretly obsessed with you, you best believe that it’ll be often!

4) They know random things about you

It might be your birthday and they’re the first one to message – even though you’ve never told them your birthday.

Or you might just be in a conversation about your vacation last summer and they already know it was a trip to Florida with your family.

When someone is secretly obsessed with you, they’ll scour your social profiles, ask about you, and want to know as much as they can about you.

So don’t be surprised if they just seem to know things about you.

5) They like to know what you’re up to

When someone is secretly obsessed with you, they’re always asking you what you’re doing later or if you’re out this weekend.

Most of the time, it’s them hoping you’re free so they can ask you out. Other times, it’s just out of pure interest for what’s going on in your life.

6) They’re always creeping on your social profiles

They watch all your stories and like every photo you post. They may be one of the first to like, comment, react, or message whenever you post something.

Sometimes, you might even catch them liking a photo from years ago (a clear sign that someone is stalking your profile).

When things go a bit too far, they may even connect with your friends or family so they can see more of what you’re up to.

7) They appear in places you go

Another sign someone is secretly obsessed with you is if they pop up in places you go to.

Sometimes it’s just a coincidence.

I remember when I first started college, I kept running into this same guy everywhere. We joked that the other was a stalker, but we both knew it was just by chance.

But sometimes, when someone is secretly obsessed with you, it’s intentional.

When it’s cute and endearing, they may sign up for the same extra-curricular activities as you. Or persuade their friends to go to the same bar you’re at tonight.

But when it’s creepy, you’ll spot them at train stations, outside your house, at the gym, or just about anywhere you go.

8) They always agree with you, no matter what

Everyone has their own opinions, and it’s rare to find someone who agrees with you on everything.

My closest friends and I have similar interests, for sure. But they aren’t entirely the same and we definitely don’t think the same way about everything in life.

But when someone is secretly obsessed with you, they may agree with everything you say.

Despite the age-old saying, “Opposites attract”, this isn’t exactly true.

Research finds that opposites are actually less likely to attract – and people with similar interests and worldviews are more likely to find attraction in one another.

And your secret admirer probably knows this.

9) They challenge you on things you say

Not everyone agrees with you when they’re secretly obsessed. Instead, they like to make their presence known when they’re around you.

So, they’ll challenge you on most things you say or do – just to wind you up, spark a reaction, or make you talk to them more.

A friend I used to work with used to use this “strategy” on girls he liked. He’d question everything they said or did.

Even if he agreed with them, he’d question why they decided to do or say it. And it was all because he secretly liked them.

He wanted to understand how they thought and why they did things – partly so he could understand them better.

But also so he could decide whether they were the “right girl” for him (and because he was a little obsessed).

10) They remember things you say, even years later

When someone is secretly obsessed with you, they’ll hang onto your every word.

Everything you say interests them, and you best believe they’ll remember it – even years later.

I remember a guy I used to work with who wouldn’t take no for an answer. And he’d remember the most random things I used to say.

He’d know how I responded to an email he was CC’d into or every word I’d said on a night out years ago. It was kind of creepy (he was kind of creepy, to be honest).

But depending on the situation and what else this person does, someone might just be remembering things about you because they like you.

I know I can remember tons of things friends or people I liked said years ago. Maybe because I’ve ruminated on it a lot, or because I just liked them.

11) They get awkward around you

There are a million reasons why someone may be awkward around you. They may have social anxiety or just be a bit of an awkward person.

But sometimes, when someone is secretly obsessed with you, they’ll get very shy in your presence.

Because they’re so used to thinking about you, actually being with you will be a big deal for them – and they won’t want to mess things up.

So they may be clumsier than usual, trip up on their words, or just be a bit awkward with how they act and talk.

Final thoughts

There’s a fine line between someone being interested in you (and pursuing a friendship or romantic relationship with you) and someone being too obsessed.

When you like someone back, someone’s creeping behavior can be cute and somewhat endearing (provided it’s nothing too extreme!).

But when you don’t like this person, don’t know them that well, or have already rejected them in the past, it can just be creepy.

Some behaviors start out as innocent or coincidental. But the more things that happen, the more likely it is that it’s intentional.

If you get a bad feeling about someone’s behavior and recognize many things on this list, someone might be secretly obsessed with you – and not in a good way!

And there’s no harm in confronting someone who’s overstepping the mark and making you uncomfortable (provided it’s safe to do so, of course).