If you really want to be successful in life, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Success means different things to different people.

For some, it’s about financial freedom. The ability to wake up without an alarm, book that flight to Bali without checking the price tag, or never worry about whether you can afford quality healthcare.

For others, it’s about inner peace. The kind where you’re not constantly comparing yourself to the person next to you, where you can sleep soundly at night, and where your self-worth isn’t tied to external validation.

The truth? Real success is both.

I learned this the hard way during my years in finance. I was climbing the corporate ladder, making decent money, checking all the “success” boxes society told me to check.

But I was miserable. My bank account was growing, but my soul was shrinking.

It wasn’t until I made some major life changes, moved to South East Asia (I know, pretty unoriginal) , and started focusing on what truly mattered that I understood success isn’t an either-or proposition.

You can have financial stability and spiritual fulfillment. In fact, the most successful people I know have both.

But to get there, you need to say goodbye to some behaviors that are holding you back. Let’s dive into seven of them. 

1. Constantly comparing yourself to others

I used to scroll through social media and feel like I was failing at life.

My college friend just bought a house. My former colleague got promoted to VP. That guy I barely knew posted photos of his new Tesla.

Each notification felt like a small punch to the gut, a reminder that I wasn’t keeping up.

But here’s what I’ve learned: comparison steals your joy, your focus, and ironically, your ability to actually succeed.

When you’re busy measuring your chapter three against someone else’s chapter twenty, you’re not writing your own story. You’re stuck in paralysis, wondering why you’re not further along instead of actually moving forward.

The most successful people I know, both financially and spiritually, have mastered the art of running their own race. They celebrate others’ wins without making them about their own shortcomings. They understand that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish their own potential.

Also, the people who seem to have it all together on Instagram are often struggling with their own demons. Success isn’t a highlight reel. It’s messy, it’s nonlinear, and it sure as hell doesn’t look the same for everyone.

2. Saying yes to everything

This was me in my twenties.

A colleague needed help with a project? Yes. A friend wanted me to join another committee? Yes. My boss asked if I could work weekends? Absolutely yes.

I thought I was being helpful, building relationships, proving my worth. What I was actually doing was spreading myself so thin that I was useless to everyone, including myself.

I remember one particular week when I was managing a language school. I had agreed to cover three extra shifts, plan a school event, and still maintain my regular duties. By Thursday, I was so exhausted I made a critical error in scheduling that affected dozens of students.

The irony? My attempt to please everyone led to disappointing everyone.

As Warren Buffett once said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

Every yes to something unimportant is a no to something that matters. When you say yes to everyone else’s priorities, you’re saying no to your own.

Learning to say no without guilt has been one of the most transformative skills I’ve developed. It’s not about being selfish. It’s about being strategic with your time, energy, and focus. These are your most valuable resources, far more precious than money.

3. Chasing money at the expense of meaning

Oscar Wilde wrote, “There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else.”

This cuts both ways. When you’re broke, you’re consumed by the lack of money. But when you’re chasing money for its own sake, without any connection to purpose or passion, you’re equally consumed.

I’m not saying money doesn’t matter. It absolutely does. Financial stress is real, and anyone who tells you otherwise hasn’t experienced it. But chasing money alone leaves you empty. This is well backed up by experts like Arthur C. Brooks. 

I think the sweet spot is finding work that engages your strengths, aligns with your values, and yes, pays your bills. It’s the intersection of what you’re good at, what you enjoy, and what the world will pay you for.

This is why I eventually transitioned to teaching and then to writing. Do I make as much as I would have in finance? No. But I wake up excited about my work. I feel like what I do matters. And that feeling is worth more than any bonus check I ever received.

4. Avoiding discomfort at all costs

Here’s something that might surprise you: every successful person I’ve studied has one thing in common. They’re willing to be uncomfortable.

J.K. Rowling faced rejection twelve times before Harry Potter was published. Twelve publishers looked at what would become one of the most successful book series in history and said no. Most people would have quit after three rejections.

Jack Ma was rejected from thirty jobs in his hometown. He applied to Harvard ten times and was rejected every single time. He could have given up, accepted that maybe he wasn’t cut out for success. Instead, he founded Alibaba.

The difference between people who succeed and those who don’t isn’t talent or luck or even intelligence. It’s the willingness to sit in discomfort long enough to push through it.

I see this in my own life constantly. Starting this writing career meant months of uncertainty, financial instability, and doubt. There were mornings when I questioned everything, when going back to a stable job seemed like the logical choice.

But growth doesn’t happen in comfort. Your comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.

The most spiritually and financially successful people I know have learned to embrace discomfort as a sign they’re growing. They understand that the temporary pain of discipline is far less than the permanent pain of regret.

5. Holding onto grudges and resentment

There’s a popular saying “Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

It’s true. It doesn’t hurt them. It destroys you from the inside out.

Research backs this up. Studies show that holding grudges can increase stress, raise blood pressure, and even weaken your immune system. Beyond the physical effects, it keeps you mentally trapped in the past, unable to move forward.

True success, the kind that brings both wealth and peace, requires letting go.

This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or pretending you weren’t hurt. It means refusing to let past pain control your present reality. It means choosing your own peace over being right.

In my own life, I’ve had to let go of resentment toward people who hurt me, toward opportunities that didn’t pan out, toward younger versions of myself who made mistakes. Each release felt like setting down a heavy bag I’d been carrying for miles.

The freedom on the other side? Priceless.

6. Living on autopilot

How many days have you lived on autopilot?

Wake up, check phone, rush through morning routine, sit in traffic, work, come home exhausted, watch TV, sleep, repeat.

I did this for years. Entire months would pass, and I couldn’t remember a single meaningful moment. I was going through the motions, living someone else’s idea of what my life should look like.

Living on autopilot might feel safe, but it’s actually one of the most dangerous behaviors when it comes to success. You can’t build something meaningful if you’re not even present for your own life.

This requires awareness. You can’t rejoice in what you have if you’re not paying attention to it.

The successful people I know, the ones who have both money and meaning, practice presence. They journal, they meditate, they take walks without their phones, they actually taste their food instead of scrolling while eating.

They make intentional choices instead of defaulting to what’s comfortable or expected.

When I started journaling a few years ago, it changed everything. Not because some magic happened, but because I started actually thinking about my life instead of just living it. I began noticing patterns, identifying what mattered, and making conscious decisions instead of just reacting to whatever came my way.

Living with intention takes more energy than autopilot. But the payoff is enormous. You can’t accidentally build a meaningful, successful life. It requires awareness and deliberate action.

7. Neglecting your physical and mental health

I’m going to be blunt about this one because it’s too important to sugarcoat.

In my early thirties, I thought I was invincible. I worked long hours, ate poorly, barely exercised, and told myself I’d focus on health “later” when I was more established.

That mentality nearly broke me.

Here’s the truth: you can’t build lasting success on a foundation of poor health. Your body and mind are the vehicles through which you experience life and create value. If those break down, nothing else matters.

Success isn’t just about grinding harder. It’s about sustainable practices that allow you to show up consistently over decades, not just months.

This includes mental health, too. Therapy, meditation, time in nature, genuine rest. These aren’t luxuries. They’re requirements for anyone serious about long-term success.

The bottom line

Real success isn’t just about the numbers in your bank account, though financial stability matters. It’s also not just about inner peace, though that’s crucial too.

It’s about building a life where you have both the resources to live comfortably and the peace of mind to actually enjoy it.

Saying goodbye to these seven behaviors won’t happen overnight. Trust me, I’m still working on some of them myself. But recognizing them is the first step. Taking action to change them is the second.

The most successful people I know, both financially and spiritually, have done the hard work of letting go of what doesn’t serve them. They’ve chosen presence over autopilot, meaning over mindless money-chasing, and health over hustle at all costs.

You can do the same.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post.

Until next time.