If you genuinely enjoy these 8 types of conversations, your IQ is likely higher than average

by Lachlan Brown | May 13, 2026, 10:56 am

Ever noticed how some conversations just light you up while others drain you completely?

I used to think it was just about the person I was talking to, but then I realized something deeper was going on.

Back when I was studying psychology, I’d find myself gravitating toward certain types of discussions while actively avoiding others.

Late-night debates in the dorm common room about consciousness, free will, or whether AI could ever truly think? Count me in. Small talk about the weather or last night’s reality TV? I’d suddenly remember I had “urgent studying” to do.

Turns out, there’s actually science behind this. Research in cognitive psychology suggests that people with higher IQs tend to prefer certain types of conversations over others. They’re drawn to complexity, abstract thinking, and intellectual challenges like moths to a flame.

But here’s what’s really interesting: it’s not just about being “smart” in the traditional sense. It’s about how your brain processes information and what genuinely excites your curiosity.

So, what are these conversation types that might indicate your IQ is higher than average? Let’s dive in.

1. Abstract philosophical discussions

Remember those college conversations that went until 3 AM about whether we’re living in a simulation or if free will actually exists?

If you genuinely love getting lost in these abstract rabbit holes, you’re in good company. According to psychology, people with higher IQs often show a preference for abstract thinking over concrete, practical matters. They enjoy grappling with concepts that don’t have clear answers.

I still remember sitting around my family dinner table as a kid, where conversations would inevitably drift from “How was school?” to “What does it mean to live a good life?” These discussions shaped how I think today, and honestly, they’re still my favorite kind.

The key here is the word “enjoy.” We’re not talking about forcing yourself through philosophy class. We’re talking about that genuine excitement when someone brings up a big, meaty question with no easy answer.

2. Debates about complex systems

Whether it’s discussing how economies work, climate change solutions, or the intricacies of human psychology, if you find yourself energized by conversations about complex, interconnected systems, that’s a strong indicator.

Higher IQ individuals tend to excel at systems thinking. They can hold multiple variables in their head simultaneously and understand how changing one element affects the whole.

Nothing exists in isolation, and understanding these connections requires a certain cognitive flexibility.

You know you’re in your element when you can spend hours discussing how social media algorithms shape democracy or how childhood experiences influence adult relationships without getting bored.

3. Playing devil’s advocate

Do you find yourself naturally arguing the opposite side of a position, even if you agree with the original point?

This isn’t about being contrarian for the sake of it. The ability to consider multiple perspectives simultaneously is linked to higher cognitive ability. It’s called cognitive flexibility, and it’s a hallmark of intelligent thinking.

I’ve always believed that listening is more valuable than having the right answer, and playing devil’s advocate forces you to truly listen and understand different viewpoints. It’s not about winning; it’s about exploring the full landscape of an idea.

If you genuinely enjoy this mental gymnastics of switching perspectives mid-conversation, your brain is likely wired for more complex thought patterns.

4. Discussions about patterns and connections

Ever find yourself connecting seemingly unrelated things in conversation? Like how the structure of ant colonies mirrors corporate hierarchies, or how jazz improvisation relates to quantum physics?

Pattern recognition is one of the strongest correlates with IQ. A study published in the journal Intelligence found that the ability to identify patterns, especially abstract ones, is a key indicator of cognitive ability.

These conversations often start with “You know what this reminds me of?” and before you know it, you’re drawing connections between ancient philosophy and modern technology, or between biological systems and social movements.

5. Hypothetical scenarios and thought experiments

“What would happen if…” “Imagine a world where…” “Let’s say hypothetically…”

If these phrases get your mental gears turning, you’re tapping into a type of thinking that requires significant cognitive horsepower.

Hypothetical thinking demands that you build complex mental models and manipulate variables in your head.

The famous trolley problem, Schrödinger’s cat, the ship of Theseus – if you love diving into these thought experiments and exploring their implications, you’re exercising the kind of abstract reasoning associated with higher intelligence.

6. Meta-conversations about communication itself

Here’s a fascinating one: talking about talking.

When you find yourself in conversations about how language shapes thought, why certain arguments are more persuasive than others, or how communication styles differ across cultures, you’re engaging in metacognition – thinking about thinking.

This ties into something I’ve learned through studying Buddhism and mindfulness. The same principle applies to conversations about conversation itself.

Research in developmental psychology shows that metacognitive abilities are strongly correlated with intelligence. It requires stepping outside the immediate experience to analyze it objectively.

7. Nuanced discussions about emotions and motivations

Forget surface-level “How are you?” exchanges. We’re talking about deep dives into why people do what they do, the complex interplay between thoughts and feelings, and the hidden motivations behind human behavior.

Emotional intelligence might be a learnable skill rather than an innate trait, but the capacity to engage in sophisticated discussions about emotions requires significant cognitive ability. You need to hold multiple perspectives, understand context, and recognize patterns in human behavior.

These conversations often involve phrases like “I wonder if they’re really angry about X, or if it’s actually about Y” or “That reaction seems like it’s coming from a deeper place.”

8. Exploring paradoxes and contradictions

Can something be both true and false? How can we crave both stability and change? Why do we often want what we can’t have?

If wrestling with paradoxes energizes rather than frustrates you, your brain likely thrives on complexity.

Tolerance for ambiguity and the ability to hold contradictory ideas simultaneously are associated with higher intelligence.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald once put it, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.”

These aren’t conversations that end with neat conclusions. They’re explorations that often leave you with more questions than answers, and if that excites rather than annoys you, it says something about how your mind works.

Final words

Here’s the thing about these conversation preferences: they’re not about showing off or proving you’re smart. They’re about what genuinely lights up your brain and makes you feel alive.

If you found yourself nodding along to most of these, it doesn’t mean you need to join Mensa tomorrow. But it does suggest that your cognitive style leans toward complexity, abstraction, and deep thinking.

The beautiful part? These types of conversations aren’t just indicators of intelligence; they’re also exercises that can enhance it. Every time you engage in these discussions, you’re strengthening those cognitive muscles.

So next time you find yourself in a conversation that makes your brain buzz with excitement, lean into it. That feeling isn’t just enjoyment; it’s your mind operating in its sweet spot. And in a world that often rewards quick, surface-level interactions, taking the time for these deeper exchanges is revolutionary.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.