8 things you’re doing in public that show you have low self-confidence

by Lachlan Brown | August 11, 2025, 4:17 pm

Most of us like to think we come across as confident in public. But the truth?

You could be sending out subtle signals that tell people the opposite—without even realizing it.

Low self-confidence doesn’t always look like hiding in the corner or avoiding all eye contact.

Sometimes, it’s hidden in small habits, body language, or how we respond to social situations.

Let’s break down eight things you might be doing in public that quietly tell the world you’re not feeling sure of yourself.

1. Avoiding eye contact

Ever notice how much you look at the floor, your phone, or the space over someone’s shoulder?

It’s not always shyness—it can be a sign that you’re unsure of yourself.

Eye contact is one of the quickest ways humans build trust.

But when you avoid it, people often read it as insecurity, nervousness, or even disinterest.

You don’t have to stare someone down like you’re in a staring contest—that’s just weird.

But try to meet someone’s gaze for a few seconds at a time. It signals you’re present, open, and comfortable in the interaction.

2. Over-apologizing

There’s a big difference between saying “sorry” when you’ve genuinely done something wrong and apologizing every two minutes because you feel like you’re inconveniencing someone by existing.

Maybe you’ve been in a café, someone brushes past you, and you’re the one who says “Sorry!”—even though they bumped into you.

That habit is more than politeness. It can be a sign you’re trying to shrink yourself to avoid conflict or judgment.

Start paying attention to how often you say sorry in public.

Chances are, half of those apologies could be replaced with a simple “Excuse me” or nothing at all.

3. Speaking too quietly

You might have great things to say, but if your voice fades into the background, most people won’t catch them.

And unfortunately, people tend to equate low volume with low confidence.

Speaking softly might be your way of avoiding attention, but it can backfire by making you seem unsure of your words.

Try this: next time you’re talking to someone in a noisy environment, notice if they lean in or ask you to repeat yourself.

If it happens often, practice projecting your voice just a bit more. You don’t need to shout—just speak like you actually believe your words deserve to be heard.

4. Fidgeting with your hands or clothes

Playing with your sleeves, tapping your foot, twirling your hair—these nervous ticks are the body’s way of releasing tension.

The problem? People notice, and they often read it as insecurity.

In mindfulness practice, there’s a concept called awareness before action. Instead of trying to stop fidgeting by force, start noticing when you’re doing it.

The simple act of becoming aware of your body’s movements is often enough to help you settle into stillness.

If your hands really need something to do, try holding a pen or keeping them loosely clasped. It gives them a “home” and keeps you from unconsciously broadcasting anxiety.

5. Laughing at things that aren’t funny

We’ve all done it—someone says something that’s mildly awkward or not even meant as a joke, and we chuckle just to fill the silence.

It’s a reflex that comes from wanting to be liked or to smooth over any potential tension. But here’s the thing: people who are comfortable in themselves don’t feel the need to add a laugh track to every sentence.

Silence isn’t a bad thing.

In fact, confident people know how to let a pause sit without scrambling to make everyone comfortable.

Next time you catch yourself giving a little “polite laugh,” ask yourself—was that genuine amusement or just a habit?

6. Constantly checking your phone

If you’re standing in a line, waiting for a friend, or sitting alone at a table, do you immediately reach for your phone?

Of course, sometimes you’re actually checking a message or looking something up.

But a lot of the time, the phone is just a social shield—a way to avoid looking awkward or available for conversation.

When I studied Buddhist teachings on presence, one thing that stood out was how much we avoid just being.

Next time you’re tempted to pull out your phone in public, try simply observing your surroundings instead.

Yes, it might feel uncomfortable at first—but it’s also a subtle act of confidence to stand there and just be.

7. Downplaying your achievements

Say you’re at a party and someone compliments your outfit, your work, or a project you’ve done. Do you instantly brush it off with “Oh, it’s nothing” or “I just got lucky”?

This kind of self-deprecating response might feel humble, but it can signal to others that you don’t believe in your own value.

There’s a big difference between arrogance and simply accepting a compliment.

Try responding with a simple “Thanks, I appreciate that” instead of minimizing yourself. It takes confidence to acknowledge your wins without turning them into a big ego play.

8. Taking up less space than you need

Confidence isn’t just in your words—it’s in the space you allow yourself to occupy.

Hunching your shoulders, crossing your arms tightly, or keeping your bag in your lap when there’s plenty of room are all subtle signs you’re trying to physically shrink yourself.

Compare that to someone who sits upright, makes grounded movements, and allows their body to take up its natural amount of space—they come across as comfortable in their own skin.

In martial arts, there’s an idea that your posture and stance affect your mind.

By standing tall and open, you’re not just looking confident—you’re telling your nervous system, “I’m safe here.”

Final words

Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence, and it’s not something you have to “fake” your way out of.

Most of the habits above are just learned patterns—ones you can unlearn with awareness and small changes.

Start by noticing which ones you catch yourself doing.

Then, experiment with replacing them with tiny acts of self-assuredness—holding eye contact a second longer, accepting a compliment, putting your phone away.

It’s not about performing confidence for others.

It’s about actually feeling more solid in who you are, no matter who’s watching.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is an entrepreneur and co-founder of Brown Brothers Media, a digital publishing network reaching tens of millions of readers monthly. He holds a Graduate Diploma of Psychological Studies from Deakin University, though his real education came afterward: a warehouse job shifting TVs, a stretch of anxiety in his mid-twenties, and the slow discovery that studying the mind is not the same as learning how to live well. He started experimenting with Buddhist principles during breaks at the warehouse and eventually began writing about what he was learning. That writing became Hack Spirit, a widely read personal development site, and his book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism became a bestseller. His work breaks down complex ideas into frameworks people can apply immediately, whether they are navigating a career change, a difficult relationship, or the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Lachlan splits his time between Singapore and Saigon. He writes about high-performance routines, decision-making under pressure, digital innovation, and the intersection of Eastern philosophy with modern life. His perspective comes from having built things from scratch, failed at some of them, and learned that clarity comes from practice, not theory.