If you recognize these 8 signs, you’re dealing with a deeply selfish man

There’s a thin line between self-confidence and selfishness, and it’s not always easy to determine which side of the line someone falls on.

You see, dealing with a deeply selfish man can be exhausting and damaging. It’s like being stuck in quicksand; the more you struggle to get them to see your point of view, the deeper you sink.

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen my fair share of selfish men. And trust me, there are certain signs that are as clear as day once you know what to look for.

This article is all about helping you spot those signs. So buckle up, because if you recognize these 8 signs, you’re dealing with a deeply selfish man.

1) It’s always about him

You’ve probably noticed that most conversations seem to revolve around him. He’s the star of his own show and expects everyone else to play supporting roles.

This is a classic trait of a deeply selfish man. They have a tendency to steer every discussion back to themselves, their accomplishments, their experiences, or their interests.

If you find that your partner often interrupts or dismisses what you’re saying to steer the conversation back to himself, that’s a red flag. This displays a lack of genuine interest in what you have to say and a disregard for your feelings or opinions.

A healthy relationship should involve mutual respect and interest in each other’s lives. If it feels like you’re always living in his world, then you might be dealing with a deeply selfish man.

It’s important to be aware of these signs. And it’s equally important to address them. Because let’s face it, no one deserves to feel like they’re just an extra in someone else’s movie.

2) Empathy is a foreign language to him

In my experience, one of the most telling signs of a deeply selfish man is his lack of empathy. He’s often oblivious to your feelings or needs, seeming almost incapable of stepping outside of his own perspective.

In fact, if there’s one quote that always comes to mind when I encounter such individuals, it’s this wise saying from Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s the ability to put oneself in another person’s shoes. But a deeply selfish man struggles with this. His world revolves around himself, making it difficult for him to truly understand or care about your emotional state.

3) He lacks generosity

Another clear sign of a deeply selfish man is his lack of generosity. And I’m not talking about just the financial aspect, but also the willingness to give his time, attention, and compassion.

You see, in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss how generosity is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship. It’s about more than just sharing material possessions; it’s about being selfless and caring towards your partner.

But a deeply selfish man often fails to demonstrate this trait. His focus is on his needs and wants, leaving little room for considering others. He might be stingy with his resources or reluctant to put effort into making you feel special or loved.

If you find that your partner is consistently unwilling to share or make sacrifices for you, it could be a sign that you’re dealing with a deeply selfish man. And as I’ve shared in my book, understanding these signs is the first step towards overcoming codependency and building healthier relationships.

4) He’s a master of charm

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, aren’t charming people supposed to be likable and considerate? Well, not always.

In fact, a deeply selfish man can often be incredibly charming. He knows how to say the right things, make you feel special, and create an illusion of deep connection. But here’s the catch: this charm is often self-serving.

You see, it’s all part of his strategy to keep you hooked and ensure his needs are met. The compliments, the grand gestures, the sweet words – they’re all designed to make you feel indebted or obliged to him.

If you find that your partner’s charm often feels calculated or manipulative rather than genuine, it could be a sign of deep-seated selfishness. 

5) He avoids responsibility

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that deeply selfish men have an uncanny ability to dodge responsibility. They have a knack for spinning situations in their favor, often leaving you to pick up the slack.

Whether it’s forgetting to do something he promised, neglecting mutual responsibilities, or blaming others for his actions, a selfish man tends to steer clear of any accountability.

If you find yourself always being the one to apologize or make amends, even when you know it’s not your fault, that could be a sign of his selfish nature. After all, in a balanced relationship, both partners should be able to acknowledge their mistakes and work towards resolving them.

Nobody’s perfect – including me! But the willingness to accept responsibility is what separates a mature, caring individual from a deeply selfish one.

6) He takes more than he gives

Let’s get real here. A deeply selfish man is a taker, not a giver. He’s always ready to receive – be it love, attention, time, or resources – but when it comes to reciprocating, he often falls short.

In a relationship, there should be a balance of give and take. But with a selfish man, it often feels like you’re pouring into a bottomless pit with little to no return.

If you’re constantly feeling drained or unappreciated after giving so much of yourself, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate. You deserve a relationship where your efforts are recognized and reciprocated. Because love isn’t about keeping score, but it certainly isn’t about one-sided sacrifices either.

7) He’s dismissive of your emotions

In my journey as a relationship expert, one thing I’ve learned is that empathy and understanding are the lifeblood of any healthy relationship. But a deeply selfish man often fails to grasp this concept.

He might belittle your feelings, dismiss your concerns, or simply ignore your emotional needs. This disregard for your feelings can take a serious toll on your mental health and self-esteem.

The wise Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” And she was absolutely right. You should never allow anyone to belittle or invalidate your feelings.

If you find that your partner often dismisses or trivializes your emotions, it’s a sign that you’re dealing with a deeply selfish man. Remember, you deserve to be loved and respected in all your emotional complexity.

8) He’s unwilling to compromise

Here’s the raw truth: a deeply selfish man is often averse to compromise. His needs, his wants, his decisions – they always have to take center stage.

Compromise, by definition, requires one to put aside their self-interest for the greater good of the relationship. But a selfish man struggles with this. He’s unwilling to meet you halfway or make concessions for your happiness or comfort.

If you’re constantly bending over backwards to accommodate his preferences while yours are ignored, then you’re likely dealing with a deeply selfish man. Honesty moment here, love isn’t about always getting your way. It’s about finding a balance that respects and values both partners equally.

Conclusion

Dealing with a deeply selfish man can be challenging and emotionally draining. But recognizing these signs is the first step towards addressing the issue.

Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your happiness and emotional well-being. If you find yourself relating to these signs, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I explore these issues further and offer practical advice on setting healthy boundaries.

Because at the end of the day, you deserve a relationship that brings you joy, mutual respect, and fulfillment. Don’t settle for anything less.