7 phrases truly charismatic people use that instantly win others over, according to psychology

For years, I grappled with the secret recipe to charisma.

Imagine this:

• People hanging on to your every word
• Making an instant connection
• Earning trust effortlessly
• Radiating confidence and charm.

In my quest to understand the essence of charisma, I often found myself on the sidelines, struggling to make meaningful connections.

Hello, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a self-proclaimed psychology aficionado. Once upon a time, I was just an average Joe with rudimentary communication skills.

But today, my life is a striking contrast. And it’s all thanks to these 7 phrases that truly charismatic people use which I stumbled upon in my journey.

Phrases so powerful they instantly win others over, backed by psychology.

In this article, I’m going to share these life-changing phrases with you. My goal? To empower you with the gift of charisma that can open doors in both your personal and professional lives.

Let’s dive in.

1) “I see your point”

Sounds simple, right? But the power of this phrase is in its ability to acknowledge the other person’s perspective. It shows empathy, understanding, and respect – traits that instantly draw people in.

When I started using this phrase, I noticed a visible change in people’s reactions. They seemed more relaxed, more open, and more willing to engage.

“I see your point” wasn’t about agreeing or disagreeing. It was about showing that I valued their thoughts and opinions. This validation can be incredibly powerful and is a key tool in the arsenal of every charismatic person.

Start by trying it out in your next conversation. Listen attentively to what the other person is saying, then respond with “I see your point”.

Pay attention to their reaction. You’ll find that this simple phrase can turn an ordinary conversation into a meaningful connection.

2) “Tell me more about that”

I remember a time when I was at a networking event. I was talking to someone about their new business venture. Instead of just nodding and moving on to the next topic, I decided to use this phrase. I said, “Tell me more about that”.

The person’s face lit up. They were excited to share, and I could see how my genuine interest had made them feel valued and important.

This phrase is a simple yet powerful tool that invites the other person to share more of their thoughts, ideas or experiences. It shows you’re interested in them, not just what they can do for you.

By saying “Tell me more about that”, you’re essentially giving the other person a platform to be heard, valued and understood. It’s a magnetic trait that truly charismatic people master early on.

Try it out in your next conversation and see the difference it makes.

3) “I can learn from you”

In my own experience, when I started saying these words sincerely, it had a profound impact.

I recall a conversation with a colleague where I was struggling to understand a new software system we had just implemented. Instead of pretending to know it all, I admitted my confusion and said, “I can learn from you”.

The shift in our interaction was immediate. My colleague not only helped me navigate the software but also started to approach me more often for discussions and collaborations.

This phrase conveys humility and openness to growth. It breaks down the barriers of hierarchy and creates an environment of mutual respect and learning.

People appreciate when their expertise or knowledge is acknowledged. By saying “I can learn from you”, you’re showing respect for their skills or wisdom, giving them a sense of validation and appreciation.

So the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone else has more knowledge or skill in a particular area, don’t hesitate to say, “I can learn from you” – it’s truly a game-changer!

4) “How can I help?”

I remember volunteering for a charity event and interacting with the event manager, a charismatic woman who left a lasting impression on me. When I was struggling to arrange some of the logistics, she stepped in and simply asked, “How can I help?”

Her willingness to support and assist made a huge difference to me and to the success of the event.

This phrase is about being proactive in offering your assistance. It shows empathy and a readiness to contribute to others’ success.

A study conducted by the American Psychological Association backs up the power of this phrase.

The research found that individuals who offered help to others reported feeling happier and more satisfied with their lives. The act of helping others also reduced feelings of stress and improved mental health.

By asking “How can I help?”, you not only make others feel valued and supported but also boost your own happiness and well-being. It’s a win-win situation! 

5) “I appreciate your effort”

A few years ago, I was working on a project with a team and we were facing a tough deadline. One of the team members was working exceptionally hard, but their contributions were often overlooked.

Seeing this, I decided to acknowledge their effort openly. I said, “I appreciate your effort”. The transformation was immediate. Their face lit up and the entire energy of the team shifted.

This phrase works like magic! It acknowledges the other person’s hard work and dedication. It makes them feel seen and valued, which can do wonders for their motivation and self-esteem.

In today’s fast-paced world, people often crave appreciation and recognition for their work. By saying “I appreciate your effort”, you’re giving them just that, which can make a significant difference to their outlook and productivity.

6) “I believe in you”

I remember a time when a friend of mine was preparing for a job interview. He was nervous and filled with self-doubt. Instead of offering generic advice, I looked him in the eye and said, “I believe in you.”

The effect was instantaneous. His posture straightened, his eyes brightened, and he went into the interview with newfound confidence.

“I believe in you” is a phrase that can ignite courage and confidence in others. It’s an affirmation of their abilities and potential, something that can propel them forward even in the face of challenges.

Famous psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “People who believe they have the power to exercise some measure of control over their lives are healthier, more effective and more successful than those who lack faith in their ability to effect changes in their lives.”

By saying “I believe in you”, you’re instilling that faith in others, empowering them to take control and make positive changes. Use this phrase sincerely, and watch as it transforms both your relationships and the people around you.

7) “I don’t know”

There was a time when I thought admitting ignorance would make me look weak or incompetent. But when I started using the phrase “I don’t know”, I realized that it did the opposite.

Once, during a team meeting, a question came up about a topic I wasn’t familiar with. Instead of trying to bluff my way through it, I simply said, “I don’t know”. This sparked a discussion in which others who knew about the topic were able to contribute and share their knowledge.

“I don’t know” is not an admission of weakness, but a sign of humility and honesty. It shows that you’re open to learning new things and confident enough to admit when you don’t have all the answers.

As a practical tip, the next time you find yourself in a situation where you’re unsure about something, resist the urge to pretend otherwise. Instead, say “I don’t know” and then add, “But I’ll find out” or “Perhaps someone else can help”.

In doing so, you create an environment of shared learning and collaboration, demonstrating true charisma and leadership.

Conclusion

Charisma isn’t about being the loudest in the room or having all the answers. It’s about authenticity, empathy, and effective communication.

Each of these phrases we’ve discussed are powerful tools you can use to connect with others on a deeper level, win them over, and build strong relationships.

But remember, the key here is sincerity. People can sense insincerity from a mile away. So, don’t just say these phrases for the sake of it – mean them.

Start by incorporating one or two of these phrases into your everyday conversations and observe the changes.

As with any new skill, it might take some practice, but soon enough, you’ll find yourself communicating more effectively and charismatically.

In the words of Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” So go ahead and make them feel valued, heard, and appreciated. That’s the true essence of charisma.