People with poor social skills display these 9 behaviors (without realizing it)

by Isabel Cabrera | September 6, 2024, 11:56 am

Socialization can be tough, especially if your social skills aren’t quite up to par.

Often, people with weaker social skills tend to struggle with this, making others feel uncomfortable without even realizing they’re doing so.

It’s not a deliberate act—more often than not, it’s a lack of understanding or social awareness. And it’s understandable, because social cues can be pretty tricky to pick up on.

That said, even if it is difficult, it’s not impossible.

In fact, recognizing these behaviors can be the first step towards improving your social interactions.

Today, we’ll discuss the behaviors that show a lack of social skills. So if you want to improve yours, read more below!

1) Lack of eye contact

Eye contact is a fundamental aspect of human communication. It’s a non-verbal cue that conveys interest, attentiveness, and respect.

However, people with poor social skills often struggle with maintaining appropriate eye contact. They might avoid it altogether or perhaps stare too intensely.

This can make the other person feel uncomfortable or even disrespected. It sends a message, whether intended or not, that the person isn’t fully engaged in the conversation.

Too little eye contact can come across as disinterest, while too much can seem aggressive or invasive.

But as with everything, practice makes perfect—learning when and how to make eye contact can significantly improve one’s social interactions.

2) Interrupting others

This is another common behavior I’ve noticed among people who struggle with their social skills—interrupting others mid-conversation.

I’ll share a personal example to illustrate this.

I have a friend, a brilliant guy, who’s full of knowledge and always eager to share his thoughts. But he has this habit of cutting people off before they can finish their point.

In a recent group discussion, every time someone started to speak, he would jump in with his own opinion. It wasn’t long before the conversation became a one-man show.

The thing is, he didn’t realize he was doing it. He thought he was contributing to the discussion, unaware that his constant interruptions were frustrating to others.

Interrupting others can come across as disrespectful or imply that you’re not interested in what they have to say. It’s important to learn the art of listening—not just waiting for your turn to speak, but genuinely hearing and understanding others.

But this habit can actually be broken with some self-awareness and practice.

The solution? Make a conscious effort not to interrupt. Trust me, it can change the dynamic of your interactions for the better.

3) Poor body language

Did you know that in 1972, a study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian found that 55% of communication is conveyed through nonverbal elements such as facial expressions, gestures, and posture?

This goes to show how crucial body language is in our daily interactions because body language speaks volumes. It’s a silent form of communication that can tell a story even before you utter a single word.

When your body language is closed off or negative, it can make people feel unwelcome or uncomfortable around you.

People with weaker social skills often have a hard time with this due to poor body language. They might slouch, cross their arms, or keep a constant frown on their face.

On the flip side, positive and open body language can make others feel at ease and more open to engaging with you.

If you want to emulate the latter, remember that when you’re interacting with someone, be mindful of your body language. Stand tall, maintain an open posture, and remember to smile.

4) Ignoring personal space

Everyone has an invisible boundary around them—a personal bubble, if you will. Respecting this space is key to maintaining comfortable social interactions.

Those with poor social skills often struggle with this concept. They might stand too close to others or invade personal space without realizing it. This can make others feel uncomfortable or even threatened.

If this is you, don’t worry! The first thing you need to know is that personal space varies from person to person and culture to culture.

A good rule of thumb is to maintain an arm’s length distance in casual social interactions. Of course, this can change based on the level of familiarity and comfort between the individuals involved.

The key here is to be mindful of the personal space of others. It’s a simple way to ensure everyone feels comfortable and respected.

5) Talking excessively about oneself

We all love to share our experiences and achievements—it’s a human trait.

But there’s a fine line between sharing and monopolizing the conversation.

People with poor social skills often tend to dominate conversations with their own stories, thoughts, and opinions, often neglecting to ask about the other person. This can give off the impression that they’re self-centered or uninterested in others.

Remember that a conversation is a two-way street. It requires both speaking and listening in equal measure. Showing interest in what others have to say and asking them questions not only fosters better relationships but also makes you more likable.

6) Difficulty empathizing with others

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what connects us as human beings, allowing us to build deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Struggling with empathy is a sign of poor social skills. A lack of it may lead to difficulty relating to what others are going through or failure to pick up on emotional cues.

This doesn’t mean people who lack empathy are cold-hearted or uncaring. It might simply be something they’re unaware of. I

If you think this is you, acknowledging this is the first step towards becoming more empathetic.

You can do this by trying to imagine being in the other person’s shoes:

How would you feel in their situation? What would you want others to say or do for you?

These questions can help cultivate empathy. It can make a world of difference in how you connect and communicate with others.

7) Not recognizing non-verbal cues

Non-verbal cues can sometimes speak louder than words. They include facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and even silence.

I remember a time when I was struggling with this. I’d be in a meeting or a social gathering and completely miss the subtle signs that someone wanted to interject or change the subject.

It was as if everyone else was reading a secret language that I couldn’t understand.

People with poor social skills often miss these non-verbal cues. They might come across as oblivious or insensitive without meaning to.

The good news is that, like any other skill, reading non-verbal cues can be learned and improved upon with practice. I know mine did!

If you want to improve yours too, start by trying to pay attention to these silent signals:

Is the person leaning in or pulling away? Do they seem engaged or distracted?

These little observations can greatly enhance your social interactions.

8) Struggling with small talk

Small talk is important when it comes to socializing. It breaks the ice and sets the stage for deeper conversations.

But for those with poor social skills, small talk can feel like a monumental task.

They might find it hard to initiate or maintain casual conversations, often resorting to awkward silence or abrupt subject changes. This can make social situations stressful and intimidating.

But if you’re bad with small talk, it doesn’t have to be that way forever! You can improve this skill, too.

Start with simple topics like the weather, current events, or common interests. Be attentive and responsive and show genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts.

Over time, you’ll find it easier to navigate these casual chats.

9) Failing to listen actively

The most crucial aspect of social skills is the ability to listen—truly listen. Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding and then remembering what is being said.

Unfortunately, those with poor social skills often fall short in this area. They might be physically present in a conversation but mentally elsewhere, planning their next response or simply zoning out.

This goes beyond simple courtesy. Active listening builds trust and respect. It shows the other person that you value their thoughts and feelings.

So, make it a habit to practice active listening. Not just hearing the words, but understanding the message behind them. It might take time and effort, but it’s a skill that can transform your social interactions.

Final thoughts

You see, social skills are not innate. They’re shaped by our experiences, our relationships, our successes, and our failures.

For those struggling with social skills, remember that change is possible. With awareness, practice, and patience, anyone can improve their social interactions.

Recognizing one’s own behaviors is the first step to making positive changes. Still, remember that it’s okay to make mistakes. Each misstep is an opportunity for growth and learning.

And with time and effort, you can enhance your social skills and build more meaningful connections.

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