8 signs you’re receiving the bare minimum from your partner

by Dania Aziz | September 5, 2024, 8:40 am

We all deserve to be loved profoundly, passionately, and wholeheartedly.

But sometimes, we find ourselves stuck in a relationship that feels more like a half-hearted shrug than an impassioned embrace.

You might look back on the history of your relationship, and wonder if the love and care you’ve been receiving is enough or even normal.

You might feel uncertain if what you’re getting is truly the bare minimum or just a phase of low tide in the ocean of love.

How do you discern if you’re getting shortchanged in love, or if it is merely a rough patch that every couple goes through?

In this article, we’ve collated a list of 8 signs that could help you determine the nature of your love life.

This exploration is not meant to trigger negative emotions, but to help bring clarity and empower you to demand the love you rightfully deserve.

1. Their love feels conditional

Love, in its truest form, is unconditional.

It’s about accepting your partner for who they are, flaws included.

However, if you feel like your partner’s love comes with a set of conditions – be it your appearance, your success, or how you behave – this could be a glaring sign that you’re receiving the bare minimum.

Love should never feel like a transaction where affection is traded for meeting certain expectations.

If you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying to meet a shifting set of standards to earn their love, it’s time to pause and evaluate.

Remember, you deserve to be loved for simply being you.

2. Lack of emotional support

Emotional support is like the strong foundation of a relationship. It keeps relationships strong, especially during hard times.

When everything is going wrong, knowing someone has your back makes a big difference.

In a good relationship, your partner is like a safe place where you can share anything without being judged and feel understood.

But, if you often feel like your partner isn’t there for you or doesn’t understand your feelings, there might be a bigger problem.

This can mean they’re not fully committed or don’t really get what the relationship needs.

When a partner isn’t emotionally there for you, it can make you feel alone and upset even when you’re together.

Emotional support isn’t just about giving advice or fixing things.

It’s mainly about listening, being there, and caring.

Everyone should be in a relationship where they feel important and listened to.

If that’s not happening, it’s important to talk about it with your partner or get some advice from outside.

3. Rarely initiates contact or plans

I remember how in my past relationship, I was the one who always initiated contact.

Be it a simple ‘good morning’ text, planning our dates, or even deeper conversations about our future, it was always me making the first move.

Over time, this can be quite draining and may make you feel unwanted.

It’s one thing for your partner to be a bit more reserved or introverted, but if you’re always the one reaching out, making plans and trying to keep the connection alive, it could be a sign that you’re receiving the bare minimum from your partner.

A relationship is a partnership and both sides should equally contribute to keeping the spark alive.

4. Lack of interest in your life and passions

Many studies show that it’s really good for couples to be interested in each other’s hobbies, dreams, and even the small things that happen every day.

This doesn’t mean both need to like the same things. For example, one person might love pottery or rock climbing, and the other might not.

What’s important is that both are willing to listen and talk about these interests.

If your partner doesn’t often ask about your day or what you love to do, or seems uninterested when you talk about it, that’s a problem.

It might mean they’re not really trying to connect with you.

In a good relationship, both people want to really know each other – what makes them happy, what’s tough for them, and what they’re passionate about.

5. Their actions don’t match their words

I recall a time when I was in a relationship where promises were abundant, but actions were scarce.

My partner would often talk about our future together, about moving in and maybe even getting a dog.

But when it came to taking actual steps towards these plans, they would always have an excuse to delay or avoid it.

Love is not just about grand promises, it’s about follow-through and commitment.

If your partner’s actions continually fail to align with their words, it might be time to question the sincerity of their intentions.

6. You feel neglected or overlooked

Being in a relationship means you should feel valued and cared for.

It’s like a two-way road where both people should feel important.

But if you often feel ignored or like you don’t matter much, it shows that something’s not right in how your partner is treating you.

It’s not just about gifts or kind words; it’s about how your partner is there for you emotionally.

They could be sitting next to you but feel far away in their thoughts.

They might often put other things or people before you, not keep plans with you, or not seem to care much about how you feel.

This can make you feel lonely, even when you’re together.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but respect and understanding should always be there.

In a good relationship, both people make an effort to show they care.

This includes really listening to each other, being there in good times and bad, and understanding each other’s emotions.

7. They avoid discussing serious topics

Good communication is key to strong relationships.

It helps partners understand each other, find middle ground, and grow together. 

In every relationship, there are tough topics.

These can be about money, what each person wants in the future, dealing with family, or setting personal boundaries, among others.

While it’s okay to sometimes feel uneasy discussing these things, always avoiding them isn’t good.

Running from these talks doesn’t just mean they’re uncomfortable in the moment; it could show deeper emotional issues or that they’re not ready to handle grown-up problems.

Not talking about key issues can also lead to many problems piling up, making partners feel distant.

For a relationship to work, both people need to be ready to face problems, making sure everyone feels listened to and valued.

8. They don’t encourage your growth

Your partner should recognize your worth, cheer for your wins, and help you chase your dreams.

Their faith in you gives you confidence, especially when things get tough.

However, if your partner often seems uninterested or even stops you from chasing your goals, it’s a big problem.

This might show they’re not putting much into the relationship or don’t see a future with you.

They might be okay with things as they are, even if it holds you back.

Growing isn’t just about getting better jobs or winning awards.

It’s about learning, chasing what you love, and becoming a better person.

If your relationship doesn’t help you grow, it can feel trapping and stop you from being your best self.

Real love means both people lift each other up.

They journey together, pushing and supporting each other

What should you do?

Relationships are like puzzles made of trust, understanding, and commitment.

If some pieces are missing or don’t fit right, the whole picture isn’t clear.

These eight signs help you see if your relationship is strong and deep.

Everyone should be in a relationship where they feel important and cared for.

If you feel like you’re getting the least effort, it’s important to think, talk, and decide what’s best for your feelings and future.

A good relationship should make both people happy, not just one.

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