9 behaviors of someone who craves being the center of attention

by Brendan Brown | September 4, 2024, 10:42 pm

Have you ever met someone whose behavior just screams, “Look at me”?

No matter where they go, they want to be in the spotlight. And they’ll do anything in their power – from subtle comments to not-so-subtle roars of overexaggerated laughter – to make it so.

Of course, it’s not always easy to tell if someone craves being the center of attention or if they’re just very extroverted.

Here’s where this article comes in. Together, let’s take a deep dive into the 9 behaviors of people who crave being the center of attention.

1) They just seem very…loud

Imagine you’re at a house party. You’re holding a glass of wine in your hand, there’s music playing in the background, and people hop between different groups like bumblebees between flowers.

Got it?

Okay.

Now imagine *that* person joins the party. Suddenly, they’re everywhere you look. They’re making loud jokes, laughing a little bit too hard, picking fights, and suggesting all sorts of ridiculous plans that sound way too dangerous for your liking.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Why can’t they just take a chill pill?”

Here’s why. If their behavior was a bit quieter, they’d blur into the background. They’d become less significant. They wouldn’t be the life of the party anymore.

And someone who craves attention detests the idea of becoming invisible so much that they’d rather exist on the complete opposite side of the spectrum.

They’d rather be a nuisance than a ghost.

2) They dislike people with a strong personality

When you want to be the star of the show, you’ll naturally hate any possible competition. Even if that competition isn’t interested in stardom at all.

All it takes is for someone to have a strong presence. As long as they know how to carry themselves, are assertive and popular, and will call someone out if necessary, it’s more than enough for attention-seekers to feel threatened.

When you want attention, it means you want an audience. You’re aiming for that standing ovation.

But if everyone’s already clapping for someone else, it becomes pretty darn difficult to steal the spotlight.

3) They are super competitive

Surprise, surprise – attention-seekers are in it for the competition.

Once they become aware that they’re sharing the stage with someone else, they will fight with everything they have to get the main role.

This behavior isn’t necessarily obvious, though.

For instance, someone who craves being the center of attention might be pretty quiet and reserved socially, only to fight tooth and nail to receive academic validation (especially if there’s another fellow student whose successes motivate them to try harder).

This is because they might not need constant attention from friends but rather attention in the form of praise in areas of life that matter to them.

4) They don’t seem that interested in you

Remember – as far as attention-seekers are concerned, you’re a member of an audience, not a co-actor.

Unfortunately, many people who crave attention live pretty self-absorbed lives. Their confidence is quite low – which is why they constantly seek validation elsewhere – and this lack of self-esteem makes it challenging for them to get out of their head.

And while I always say it is crucial to be self-aware and self-reflective, there comes a point where one’s constant obsession with the self becomes too much.

It can lead you to block out other people and disregard experiences that don’t relate to you specifically. In other words, you turn into quite a closed-minded person who isn’t interested in building genuine connections.

It can get quite lonely.

5) They always find a way to make the conversation about themselves

If you’re not interested in exploring someone else’s mind and unpeeling all their layers, listening to them talk will naturally bore you.

Therefore, attention-seekers always try to turn the topic of the conversation back to themselves.

For instance, you might say, “X and Y happened to me, so I’m feeling Z.”

Their reply will probably go along the lines of, “Ugh, tell me about it. I’m feeling Z and K and G on top of that. I’ve had such a rubbish week.”

And then you’ll spend the next twenty minutes listening to them ramble on about their struggles while they’re completely disregarding that you have something to get off your chest, too.

It’s not easy being friends with an attention-seeker. There is an inherent imbalance in the relationship.

6) They fish for compliments

Keep in mind that when someone craves being the center of attention, it’s always for a reason – the reason being their low self-esteem.

A person like that is secretly looking for validation and love in the world around them because they’re unable to find the same sense of fulfillment within themselves.

As a result, they thrive on compliments.

They might make self-deprecating jokes just to hear you say how great they are.

They might often bring up their insecurities as a way to seek reassurance.

They might ask you for your opinion on every single thing they do or wear just to get that extra boost of approval.

Whatever it is, try not to indulge them too much as it only strengthens their dependency on external validation.

7) They say controversial things for the sake of being controversial

There’s a quote by Criss Jami that says, “Trying to be offensive for the sole purpose of being offensive should always deem one the least offensive of offenders.”

I can’t help but agree. When someone says controversial things just to get a rise out of people or to bring more attention to themselves, their insecurity is so loud you can almost hear it.

And insecurity is never truly offensive to anyone but the person who displays it.

People who seek attention by going “against the mainstream” or by pretending they’re the underdog want to be unique more than anything. They think that their confidence lies within the uniqueness itself.

However, true confidence is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s not about molding your identity into something you can hide behind.

8) They tell tall tales

In the movie Big Fish by Tim Burton, the main character turns his life story into a grand fairytale narrative.

At every party, he tells everyone about the majestic adventures he’s experienced. At every family dinner, he spends hours going over his encounters with giants, werewolves, witches, and more.

The movie is sweet and nostalgic – we can’t help but feel empathetic toward the man – but it also gives us an excellent portrait of a specific kind of person: the storyteller.

As entertaining as the storyteller may be, it is also crystal clear that he thrives on being the center of attention. And no matter how many times he repeats the same story, he still enjoys telling it; in fact, he may embellish it more and more as time goes on.

If you know someone who always tells tall tales, it’s a big sign that they are attention-seeking.

9) They overshare on social media

Finally, you can tell a hell of a lot from someone’s social media usage. People who want extra attention tend to post more often, be it in the form of posts, reels, or stories.

They might overshare about their personal life – as an example, my friend’s mom crafts a long emotional happy birthday Facebook post for him every year while she barely bothers to say “happy birthday” to him in real life – or change their profile picture every five days.

Social media is a great trap for attention-seekers because it takes very little effort to get dozens of likes.

So, if you’re wondering if someone you know craves being the center of attention… check out how they present themselves online. It might offer a lot of valuable insight.

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